So, you've decided to frolic in a Sex Chatroom! Well done you - a life of carefree sex and limitless erotic pleasure awaits you. However - there is a slight chance that even after 5 minutes, you might not be drowning in whatever body part you're currently fetishising. If this is the case, the following guidelines may help.

1. Most of the people online are people. Oddly, they act much like people do in the real world, only with fewer inhibitions and more spelling mistakes. Trying something that would get you slapped - or worse - in the real world probably won't magically work because "it's the internet".
2. Some of the people online are not people, they're just bots or similar trying to get you to give them money for photos of genitals. Many photos of genitals are available free of charge, so this is not recommended. Search engines may be employed to find pictures of genitals if you wish.
3. On the subject of pictures of genitals... If your sole interaction with a group of people is periodically sending a photo of your penis, like a disappointing one eyed alarm clock, you are unlikely to see the results you may wish for. There are several reasons for this:
   • Penises, no matter their dimension, are not all that attractive per se.
   • Most people that you may hope to impress have already seen many other penises in this way - likely too many.
   • Penises, divorced from their owner, are fairly useless. An image of one provides no reliable indication of whether it is likely to be used effectively.
   While nobody can stop you trying this approach (within reason), know that it probably won't be very successful. Showing a group of people your penis when they're not expecting it doesn't make you a focus of lust, it makes you a flasher.
4. Still on the subject of pictures of genitals (can you detect a theme?)... If your interaction is instead going to be asking the world to "Send Nudes" or similar tempting poetry - again, you might end up disappointed. Even in the liberated world of Sex Chat, people still often like to know someone a tiny bit before sending them a photo that only their gynaecologist/proctologist, etc. would recognise.
5. Talk. Yes, this is what it comes down to. It turns out that the "Chat" bit of "Sex Chat" is the major bit. You need to talk to people. There's a handy trick you can use to work out whether you're heading in the right direction: Would this stand any chance of "working" if I tried it in a bar? Walking up to someone and either exposing yourself or asking to see their junk doesn't work in real life, it's not going to work online, no matter how attractive you consider yourself to be. Take an interest, listen, make people laugh. You never know, it might work.

So, there you have it. You can find all sorts of fun online, including actual sex if you're lucky. But you won't if you're an arsehole. Happily, it isn't that hard to avoid being one. Remember, nobody owes you anything, people are only going to be as nice to you as you are to them, and nobody is going to like you just because of a specific measurement. They won't believe you anyway.