hello - it's nicholas here. this is my official apology regarding the debacle that happened between @jonasghee & i:

I decided to wait to write tihs until I could fully express myself. I'm addressing the issue rregarding me blowing up on Jonas and saying some terrible things after he was expressed annoyance that I hadn't paid him on time (in fact, for the sake of full transparency: he had been extremely lenient with me and given me several breaks on payment deadlines).

First of all, I'm sorry for being ridiculous and inconsiderate about handling (or rather not handling) the business I was involved in. I've paid Jonas back the money that I had agreed to pay him for the designs he did, and I want to leave that in the past. Any other reposts or miscellaneous services that I promised and haven't yet provided for members of this community - I will still fulfill the projects, or refund you. If you'd like to speak to me about anything specific, please DM me instead of making it a spectacle in the replies; I was accepting a strenuous workload of freelance work due to my incredible stringent financial situation and I got behind on a few projects. Never did I have the intent to not fulfill a job or 'scam' anyone. Anyway, back to the addressing the issue that initially caused all the uproar:

What I did was horribly wrong - calling someone a retard and telling them to kill themselves is an absolutely ridiculous thing to do. Suicide and suicidality are also no joke - I've been there, I know. I would never want anyone to take their own life. I was enraged and acting like an entitled thirteen year old kid in a Counter-Strike lobby who hasn't even learned what 'political correctness' is yet, and that's some serious fuckboy shit - and I apologize. I grew up with mental health issues in an unstable home environment and I know that words are powerful (after all, I am a lyricist) - and letting my anger get to the point where I said the things I said is extremely toxic, as is the way I dealt with the situation in general. I know I have a young fanbase and actually have some influence on the people that pay attention to my music, and using that power irresponsibly is one of the worst things I could('ve) done as a person or an artist. I'm truly sorry.

I'd say anyone that knows me knows I am not at all a predigious person; I'm extremely inclusive and socially liberal. However, I do unfortunately have a track record (and tendency) of carelessly using words that I shouldn't use in conversational situations, when angry, or when joking around in private; but I thnk part of the reason why I felt now was a good time to come back and make this apology (which I have been pondering for about a month now) is because: as a half black male who has been intensely emotionally effected by the massive outcry my culture has had in the recent weeks in an effort to stand up for ourselves, for what it is to be humane, just and fair - I realized that staying away from Twitter because of the debacle that had everyone trying to 'cancel' me was cowardly for multiple reasons. Number one, as someone who has been marginalized/fetishized/discriminated against and gatekept their entire life, it sunk in more and more how audacious and disgusting the things I had expressed were. During my time away from Twitter I used Instagram plentifully to speak out on BLM related matters and my heart has been torn so many different ways about what's happening in this conutry and the reaction to what's happening in this country. But after understanding the anger and feeling it at the core of me, having attended protests and been a part of the NYC BLM marches in 2015 - I kept remembering this situation (this situation meaning, me staying off Twitter after the problem between Jonas and I) and likening problems that I was fighting against to my contribution to the problem of biggotry as a whole (by calling him a retard, primarily) and decided it was a coincidentally good time to come back and address it, and apologize. Truthfully, I am attempting to reclaim the weight of my words.

No one deserves to be disrespected, slurred, marginalized or insulted for any of the cards life handed them. I'm sorry Jonas - and to anyone else who's been offended by anything I've said/posted online. With power comes responsibility, and I left the 'great' out on purpose - it doesn't have to be 'great' power to demand responsibility.

The reaction to what happened was understandable, and a lot of people turned their back on me. There were people who already had issues with me who jumped on it as an immediate way to X me out. There were people who had no idea who I was who got a terrible first impression and will probably never pay attention to my art now. There were friends who were confused who didn't even reach out to ask me what was going on - real friends, people I've done shit for out of the goodness of my heart. There were people who jumped on the bad-news bandwagon to be a part of something that was going on - to feel some sense of purpose, as if bringing me down somehow brings them up. There were Guardin stans who were insulting me simply because he chimed in his two cents.

[Quick sidebar: Interestingly enough, I randomly decided to write this today - and in the middle of writing (literally about two minutes ago), one of the people I was friends with that immediately outcasted me reached out to me via DM and apologized for the way he had reacted and continued to talk about how people are people - we all make mistakes - times are crazy right now, and no one deserves to be thrown in the trash for a mistake. You know who you are, so thank you man. That means a lot to me.]

Most of the scene jumped on my back simply for what they knew I'd done (say some shitty things to Jonas) without knowing anything about the situation. I will say that there are a lot of toxic ass shitheads who were searching for a purpose and jumped on a bandwagon because they just wanted someone to cancel/insult, but fortunately I'm mature enough to weed out the real.

I have no problem with those who have a problem with what I said, but I do have a problem with holier-than-thou/high-horse attitudes from people who act like they're perfect every second of the day - even when no one's looking.

Trouble with accountability has been a recurring theme in my life, partly due to situations I've been forced to (or chosen to) survive in. I'm saying this because this is me taking responsibility for not always sticking to my word - I'm not blaming it on anything or excusing it, I am saying I am wrong, I am human, I made a mistake that I regret and I wish I could undo - but I am simultaneously fully aware that I cannot undo it, am also aware I have done a lot for a lot of people in this scene, am also sick of cancel culture bullshit, am also proud of my art, will not be changing my name, and will be dropping music soon.

I understand most viewpoints on things I've done/the way I've moved and rarely hold resentment for any of them.

I can't afford to care about those who have no interest in caring about me - no one really can.

I hope you're having a wonderful day.

Lastly, to address those who've always accused me of buying followers/engagement:

I have had my Instagram and Twitter since 2010. I was verified on Twitter in 2015 when the verification process was different.

I have had long hiatuses that have ruined my engagement, but I've done a plethora of social media work that is now removed for the sake of branding which helped me amass the following I have (a lot of that work was not music related - a lot of it was). I haven't yet decided what to do when it comes with my accounts because of the fact that my ratios have died from algorithmical account degradation from the many breaks from social media I've taken over the years, but I'll figure it out.

If you care, you'll be in the loop. If you don't, it's all good - and I truly hope you have a good life.

yours always,

nicholas hunt