Such a strange feeling, she couldn't feel any warmth and neither could she feel the cold. She couldn't hear anything, not even the beat of her own heart. She couldn't see and though she didn't try, she was sure of it ; she wouldn't be able to speak either. Still, she could tell the atmosphere was changing, it is then that she started feeling something for the first time in what felt like forever. On the tip of her fingers some kind of heavy substance, neither solid or liquid, something in between sticking to her skin like a parasite spreading so quickly that in the blink of an eye the thing had covered all of her chest, applying a strong enough pressure to give her trouble breathing.

Surely, she was dreaming.

‶ Wake up! ʺ She told herself but even in her mind, she couldn't hear her own voice. All she could feel was still this parasite wrapping around her neck, it had already embalmed her entire body, she couldn't move an inch, only her face was spared.. for now. She was sinking into a suffocating pit. 

‶ The greatest assassins do not seek recognition or glory. ʺ

It echoed in her ears, a vile voice she wished she could forget, she wished wouldn't haunt her. It was however the last hint she needed to confirm that she was indeed just dreaming. Or more likely having a nightmare though she'd never admit such things. 

‶ Wake up..  ʺ

She softly whispered before her eyes finally opened wide as she took a loud, sharp breath. Instinctively her hand reached for her throat then gently squeezed it, patiently waiting for her breathing to calm down. 

Eyes locked onto the ceiling she laid in silence slowly but surely getting used of the darkness of the room. Slowly, her eyes shifted to the left towards the open window highlighted by the moonlight. Such a calm night, the wind was blowing softly, ever so slightly bulging the dark curtains framing the window. 

She blinked once, then twice before deciding it was time to get up. 

So she did. 

She slowly walked towards the window, stopping once it was within reach of her bruised hands. 

Katarina was disturbed, disappointed in herself for letting her past catching up to her. 

‶ I'm not yours anymore. ʺ

Those words brought her a feeling close to joy though the right term would surely be freedom. Because it was true, she wasn't his anymore. She wasn't tied to this fatherly figure that never once cared for her, neither did she cared for him. Honor in the Du Couteau family was everything, and it still was everything for Katarina. It mattered so much that she thought about taking her own life when her father rightfully accused her of tainting their family name. 

In the end, she decided she had to repent for her numerous mistakes and be better, always better, better than anyone else, better than the father she so despised. 

Growing up, she lacked what most kids had, she received no love or affection, and she didn't want to ever experience it. Feelings are boring, feelings are not a priority, valuing her life was pointless. She wasn't a woman meant to find love, she wasn't a woman meant to live in prosperity, she was a weapon. 

Dared she say the greatest weapon of Noxus ? No, too pretentious, her path wasn't clean and full of imperfections, she couldn't dispute that title anymore. There was however still one thing she could do. 

Serve Noxus and the Grand General till her dying breath as it was her only will. 

Her hands reached out for the daggers conviniently placed next to the window. Mind still fighting with her inner demons, she stopped  paying attention and her fingers missed the daggers handle, directly grabbing the blade side instead. It sliced the soft flesh of her digit open but she did not flinch. 

Could she even feel pain anymore ? Of course she had limits like anyone else, but when was the last time she pushed those limits ? She couldn't remember. What does pain feels like ? What does fear feels like ? 

Will it bring me more euphoria than killing ?

 It feels good, killing feels good. 

I wish I could suffer right now. 

She brought her injured finger close to her face, staring at the crimson drops dripping down her hand and her arm, blood ending its fatal race on the cold wooden floor. 

It is then she whispered in such a quiet voice that even herself could barely hear it. 

‶ Blood for Noxus. ʺ