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<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<| FSA SWEET TALK |>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

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 Updated:6/5/2018

 

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<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<|THINK OF IT AS 'FEEL'S GOOD, MAN SFW |>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

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LINKS

SFW - Sweet Summer Memory, by Nemo

http://pastebin.com/pVdnn3Jq

 

SFW - Sweet Summer Morning, by Nemo

http://pastebin.com/2FcNPY0u

 

SFW - I Want You, by Nemo

http://pastebin.com/BYHB7NmC

 

SFW - Let's Try Together, by GhostAmi

http://pastebin.com/KhXaBysF

 

SFW - Glad We Could Be Friends!, by GhostAmi

http://pastebin.com/tBVSKv2e

 

http://pastebin.com/WJ2qWYrq

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1920 Letter from Zelda Sayre to F. Scott Fitzgerald <GASP!> Edited for 4chan

 

Sweetheart,

 

Please, please don’t be so depressed—We’ll be married soon, and then these lonesome nights will be over forever—and until we are, I am loving, loving every tiny minute of the day and night—

 

Maybe you won’t understand this, but sometimes when I miss you most, it’s hardest to write—and you always know when I make myself—Just the ache of it all—and I can’t tell you.

 

If we were together, you’d feel how strong it is—you’re so sweet when you’re melancholy. I love your sad tenderness—when I’ve hurt you—That’s one of the reasons I could never be sorry for our quarrels—and they bothered you so— Those dear, dear little fusses, when I always tried so hard to make you kiss and forget—

 

Darling—there’s nothing in all the world I want but you—and your precious love—All the materials things are nothing.

 

I’d just hate to live a sordid, colorless existence-because you’d soon love me less—and less—and I’d do anything—anything—to keep your heart for my own—I don’t want to live—I want to love first, and live incidentally…

 

Don’t—don’t ever think of the things you can’t give me—You’ve trusted me with the dearest heart of all—and it’s so damn much more than anybody else in all the world has ever had—

 

How can you think deliberately of life without me—If you should die—O Darling—darling—It’d be like going blind…I’d have no purpose in life—just a pretty—decoration.

 

Don’t you think I was made for you? I feel like you had me ordered—and I was delivered to you—to be worn—I want you to wear me, like a watch—charm or a button hole bouquet—to the world.

 

And then, when we’re alone, I want to help—to know that you can’t do anything without me…

 

All my heart—

 

I love you.

 

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The One That Got Away Comes Back To Stay by VK

 

Hi. Yes, it’s me. I guess you never thought you’d see me again. <pause> What I’m doing here is telling you I’m sorry. So sorry for what I put you through. And, I’m proving what everyone has been telling me for the last five years: I need you. I’m not trying to be funny. I just couldn’t see it before. God, you look good. Better than I remembered. More solid somehow. I have missed you so. I just knew that I was always comfortable with you, I could tell you anything, everything and you’d always say the right thing about it. I missed that. And of course I want you. I’ve always wanted you. I missed you and I’m here. For you. For good, if you’ll have me. Will you take me back?

 

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Snuggily Bedtime by Anonymous

 

Hey come to bed. Come on, you can finish reading that later. We've been working and shopping all day and now I'm tired. I want you to snuggle me as we sleep. We can finish everything else tomorrow, don't worry. Mmhmm, we'll go to sleep right now and then take a nice hot shower together tomorrow morning before we get everything done. I promise. Now come here. *pause for a moment* Yeah that's good, now wrap your arms around me. Mmm you're so warm and you smell nice *deep inhale* H-hey!

*giggle* No tickling! ...silly guy. If you want to do some touching, how about you give me a kiss? *kiss* aww I love you too. Goodnight sweetie

 
 

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I'm Your Sweet Talker Now by Anonymous

 

    I love you so much sweetie. I feel like the luckiest girl in the world right now because you’re my boyfriend. I remember how you used to be so shy around me. You used to never be able to look me in the eyes. You were so smart and funny that I wanted you to ask me out when we became lab partners. I gave you so many signals and I waited but you were too scared until one day I finally did it myself and asked you out. After the first few awkward dates we became really close and you opened up to me. Other girls would have never given you a chance after the first date where you were so shy and quiet, but I knew that you just needed some time.

 

    I remember when you used to sit at home alone on Friday and Saturday nights and browse 4chan. You used to look in the vocaroo sweet talk threads and make requests and get anonymous girls on the internet to say sweet things to you. But you don’t need that anymore, you don’t need those vocaroo sweet talk threads anymore because you have me now. I say to you all the sweet things that you need to hear sweetie. I noticed that last week you deleted your vocaroo sweet talk folder because you don’t need it anymore. You’ll never need that folder again because I’ll always be here for you sweetie.

 

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Sweet Nothings at Bedtime by Anonymous

 

You are the last thing I think about before I fall asleep and the first thing I think about when I wake up. And during that time you are all that I dream of. I don't always wake up knowing it, well, physically remembering, but I know in my heart that it was you, because I wake up smiling. I miss the nights when we used to snuggle all night. And all those times I would wake up in the morning to you kissing my neck. I miss the nights when we used to fall asleep like some big mass of limbs, so tangled that we couldn't really tell whose was whose. It was wonderful. It was just so perfect. I miss the way I felt so much for you, when I knew that you felt so much for me. I miss how you never say "I love you" anymore, because I still do fully, and with all of my heart. It's probably too bad, because I'll get hurt again, but I love you.

 

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Affirmation by Rangerette

 

I love you. You are sweet, talented, handsome and understanding. I'm so lucky to have you. You hold my heart, you are my everything. I don't know what the future holds, but I'll always treasure the time I spent with you.

 
 

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Asked Out by IG (How it would probably sound)

 

If you've got a second, I want to talk to you before you run off again. Um, well, I don't know how to put this... I really really like you, and I don't really think you've noticed me and I'm probably really going out on a limb here, and I'm going to feel like an idiot later, but but I've... You are... I really like you. I have liked you for a while; longer than I'd like to admit, because you'd think it was creepy.

 

But, the whole point of all this rambling and sorry that I kind of ramble when I get nervous... The point of it is, I just wondered if you wanted to go out to do something this Saturday.Um, you know, with me. I was kind of hoping that you would ask me, but I don't know if I'm just not the kind of girl to catch your eye, or you know, what the deal is. I figured, what the hell. It's the 21st century, right. Be aggressive sometimes! Sometimes, we ladies have to make the first move. Maybe you're shy. I don't know. So, that's it. What do you say?

 
 

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Comfort Shortie by Siren

 

Good night sweetheart. Everything will be better in the morning

 
 

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Comfort Shortie by Sera

 

Aww, everything will be okay. There's no need to worry.

 
 

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Sweet talk Opus by Rangerette

 

NOTE: This is here because it is brilliant! However you might want to change/omit some of the lines to make it more personal for you.

 

I want to play hide-and-seek and give you my clothes, and tell you I like your shoes and sit on the steps while you take a bath, and massage your neck, and kiss your feet, and hold your hand, and go for a meal and not mind if you eat my food, and talk about the day, type up your letters, carry your boxes, and help to allay your paranoia. And give you music you don't listen to, and watch great films and terrible films, and complain about the radio, and take pictures of you when you are sleeping. And get up to fetch you bagels and coffee and Danish. And go out for coffee, and let you steal my cigarettes but never find a match, and tell you about the TV program I saw the night before, and take you to the hospital and not laugh at your jokes, and want you in the morning, but let you sleep for a while, and kiss your back and stroke your skin and tell you how much I love your hair, your eyes your lips, your chest, your ass, and sit on the steps smoking until your neighbor comes home, and sit on the steps smoking until you come home, and bore you when you're late and be amazed when you're early, and give you some flowers, and go to your party and dance till I'm black, and be sorry when I'm wrong and happy when you forgive me, and look at your photos and wish I'd known you forever, and hear your voice in my ear and feel your skin on my skin, and get scared when you're angry, and your eye has gone red, and the other eye blue, and your hair to the left, and your face Oriental. And tell you that you're gorgeous, hug you when you're anxious,andhold you when you hurt, and want you when I smell you, and offend you when I touch you and whimper when I'm next to you and whimper when I'm not and dribble on your chest, and smother you at night, and get cold when you take the blanket, and hot when you don't, and melt when you smile, and dissolve when you laugh, not understand why you think I'm rejecting you, because I'm not rejecting you. And wonder how you could ever think I would reject you. And wonder who you are but accept you anyway, and tell you about the tree angel enchanted forest boy, who flew across the ocean because he loved you, and write poems for you, and wonder why you don't believe me, and have a feeling so deep I can't find words for it, and wanted to get you a kitten but knew I'd be jealous of it because it would get more attention than me. And keep you in bed, when you have to go, and cry like a baby when you finally do, and get rid of the roaches, and buy you presents you don't want, and take them away again, and ask you to marry me and you say no again and I keep on asking because though you think I don't mean it,  I always do: I had fun the first time. I ask you and wander the city thinking it's empty without you, and want what you want and think I'm losing myself, but know I'm safe with you and tell you the worst in me, and try to give you the best of me, because you don't deserve any less, and answer your questions when I'd rather not, and tell you the truth when I really don't want to, and try to be honest because I know you prefer it, and think that it's all over but hang in for just 10 minutes more, before you throw me out of your life, and forget who I am. And try to get close to you because it's beautiful learning to know you, and it's well worth the effort. Speak German to you badly and Hebrew to you worse and make love with you at three in the morning, and somehow, somehow communicate some of the overwhelming, undying, overpowering, unconditional, heart-enriching, mind-expanding ongoing, never-ending love I have for you.

 
 

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Advice to Keep on Going by Tess

 

Everything's going to be all right! Just keep your head up and keep on going with whatever your problem is and you will make it through, I promise!

 

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Sweet Boyfriend Affirmation by Anonymous

 

You're such a sweet beautiful boyfriend. I love you so much and I can't imagine us ever being apart again. I'll take care of you for ever. I'll be everything you need. You know, when I go to the mall I don't even look at other guys. I don't notice them. I'm always thinking of you and how I can make you happy. I'm the luckiest girl in the world, and I still can't believe that you fell in love with little old me, especially with all the supermodels in total hotties you could be getting. But now, your all mine and I will never leave you. I used to worry about you leaving me. You reassured me so much when you took my virginity last night and that was a more beautiful experience than I ever expected to have.

 

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Dealing with Bad Times by Tiara

 

I know that you are having a hard time, you've had a hard day, it couldn't have been easy but please just relax Shhh. There's nothing you can do right now to fix the problems you have so the only thing afterward about this listening to my words. Be calm. I'm always thinking about you. The way you look, and the way you smile and the way you make me and everyone else so happy. There is nothing more that I want to do than give that gift right back to you. You deserve everything. Not everyone knows this. That's not what matters. I notice and you notice there is strength within you. Fighting isn't necessary. You just have to know that I love you.

 

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Affirmation by Maine

 

I just want you to know that you are a fantastic person and mean the world to me. I love you so much.

 

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Custom Bedtime Sweet Nothings Edited by VK

 

Hey, come to bed. Come on, you can finish reading that later. We've been working and shopping all day and I'm tired and you shouldn't finish that crossword puzzle anyway so we can do it together in the morning. I want you to snuggle me as I sleep, and we can finish everything tomorrow. Don't worry. We'll go to sleep right now and take a nice hot shower together in the morning before we get everything done. I promise. Now, come here.Mmmmmmm... That's good. Now, wrap your arms around me. Mmmm, you're so warm! And you smell nice. [Gasp] Hey, no tickling! Silly guy! If you want to do some touching, why don't you give me a kiss? Oh, I love you too. Good night, sweetie.

 

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Going for a Romantic Walk by Maine

 

Honey, I want to take a walk with you hand in hand across the sunflower fields in the back of our house. I put on the dress you like the most: the one with the floral pattern. You remember? I'm also wearing the sandals you got me in Italy. They still fit. Let the sun and the color embrace us. And let's find the tree; the one we first kissed under. And where we had our first fight when I wouldn't let you carve our initials into it.

 

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Love Sweet talk by Maine

 

I love you so much that my heart swells up, my throat feels tight, and my stomach feels like it's sinking. Your all that I ever wanted. I need you.

 

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Advice for Hard Times by Pumpkin

 

Hey, it'll all be okay. Anything that is going wrong will make itself right, or you'll find a way to make it right. It will all turn out in the end. You don't have to worry because someone is always there to help. There is always someone you can turn to, and there is always a way to fix a problem. You'll be all right, I know you will.

 

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Advice for Hard Times

 

Listen, I know things can get hard sometimes, but you have to keep on going. You're strong and I believe in you. You can do this, I know it.

 

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Sweet Romantic Talk by Turtle

 

I just wanted to let you know that I really, really like you...and I'd really like to be with you....if you'd let me.

 

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Very Sweet Affirmation by Anonymous

 

If I could give you one thing in life I would give you the ability to see yourself through my eyes. Only then would you realize how special you are.

 

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Death and Loss By VK

 

I've been there. I know what it's like to lose someone and the most important thing for you to know is that you will get through it. You will laugh again, food will taste good once more and it won't hurt so much to remember. It will take time, sure. You've got some stages to get through (Google:Elizabeth Kubler-Ross) but it will take much more time if you isolate yourself. There others around who have suffered as you are suffering. Find them. Talk with them. Help them and they will help you.

 
 

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To Be Your Maiden Fair

 

Oh heavenly blessed man whose inner beauty is simply divine and everlasting, I would love to be your maiden fair. If you want to talk to a good friend, honest, sweet and tender, you can do so with me at any moment. I am a good person, kind, loyal and sincere. My friendship that I offer to you is clean and transparent. I congratulate you, because you are very handsome. I admire your spectacular  body. Your skin, your charming form, your confident and pleasant smile, your personality, your happiness, your charm, your kindness, your beautiful eyes, your strong arms and legs.  You have all these qualities and more. You are a wonderful and perfect man, your gaze is tender and sweet, and it penetrates my soul.

 

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This Picture In My Mind by Anonymous

 

I so want you to be in love with me.

 

I have this picture in my head of you sometimes. In my head, you’re sitting around your flat and you’re thinking of me. I just float into your mind like clouds on a sunny day and then you can’t get rid of the thought of me.

 

I imagine that you might consider being with me. Maybe, you’ve woken up just once, stretched out your arm across the bed and hoped that I might be there, so you can hold me so tightly as we both fall back to sleep.

 

Maybe the thought of me has stopped you in your tracks. Perhaps the thought of me makes you forget what you were saying. I like to think that you look forward to seeing me.

 

But, most of all, I hope that the thought of me has caused you as much pain - even if it was just for a single moment - as the thought of you causes me every single day. I hope that the deep burning in my stomach is something you feel as well, every time I walk away from you and every time I smile at you for just a moment too long.

 

I hope you find me interesting. I hope you like my smile and the way my eyes look when I’m drowsy. I hope that you think back to all of the close moments we’ve shared with the same happiness and optimism for the future. And I hope that you have, even once, imagined a future with me by your side.

 

It probably hasn’t happened, but I like to think that I mean more to you than I’ll let myself believe…

 

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One Of A Kind

 

You don’t know how much you mean to me. You may think that you’re just another person but heck no. You’re one of a kind, my light, and love. So wherever you are right now, always remember that I’m always here wholeheartedly loving you.

 

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I Want to Kiss You by Anon

 
 

I want to kiss you...

 

There are so many things I’d love to do, but most of all, I just want to kiss you. I want to know what it’s like, ya know? Because when I imagine it in my head it always just feels so right. Maybe it should feel wrong, because of all of the reasons we can’t be together, but it doesn’t. You're so sweet, and, honestly, I feel so comfortable around you, like we just get along well. We’re a lot alike, and you always makes me feel so much safer and stuff. I just want that kiss. Just to see who we are together, what we could be to each other.

 

It’s such a simple thing...but that’s what I want to do. If that’s all I could ever do I’d still be the happiest person on the planet. At least that’s how I feel right now. I can’t stop thinking about you and kissing you lately. Well, kissing and other things ;p) but mostly the kissing part.

 

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I Wish You Knew by Anon

 

You are the first thing I think of in the morning, the last thing I’m thinking of before I fall asleep, and you have no idea.  If you could actually read my eyes, you would see the story I’m trying to mentally convey to you. But then I freak out that you think I’m staring at you and quickly turn away. I mean, it’s so awkward 'cause I spend the whole time in class trying to watch you without you noticing. And then you catch me looking at you (at least I think your eyes are looking at me) and I turn bright red and just stare at my hands.  And still I wonder, do you think about me? Do you think about how much I trust you and tell you things? Do other people do that? Can't you see me? I wish you knew how special you are to me.

 

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The Sun Is Rising Already by Anonymous

 

Can't you see? <Laugh> The sun is coming up! <Laugh> Looks like we've been up all night, huh? Fuckyeah, it was worth it! You are really the best guy in the world, you know? No, really. Really! No other guy I have ever known was able to make me as happy as you do. You're really one-of-a-kind. You're special. <pause> I'm glad you think I am too. <pause> You know I want to do well by you, right? Yeah, Mm Hmm?  Y'know, at the beginning, I really wasn't sure this would work between us...but I've been able to see all after all these months, that it's not just that I like how you look, not just that I think you're hot.<laugh> You're such a lovely person, too. I get the feeling that you really care about me, but also, that you actually respect me. You're not like all the other guys. Is that true? Can I even hope that it's true? <Laugh> Oh, you are so honest! 'You try,' huh? Well, trying is good enough for me. <pause> Oh, okay. We can talk about serious things later. I just wanna cuddle you, put my arms around you, rest my head against your chest, close my eyes and just lose myself in being next to you. Can I do that? Good! C'mere. Mmmmmm. I could fall asleep here. You're so comfy. Mm Hmm, I really really love you. Please never leave me. <pause> I never want to leave you either. <yawn> I think I really am going to fall asleep. Is that okay? Thank you. <softly> I love you <soft kissing>

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Hey Anon by Anon

 

Hey, Anon. I can't wait to see you tonight, to look into your beautiful eyes, to run my hands through your hair, and to kiss your soft lips. My heart beats faster any time I think of you, and at the moment that's all that I can seem to do. Not much longer, my love. I can't wait. See you soon, bye.

 
 

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You're Not a Fuckup by Tess

 

You are not a Fuckup. You have just as much right as anybody else to live in happiness. It isn't fair. It's up to you to do what you can to make things as good as you can. It's not easy. It never is, and life is just not fair. Some people are just in shit situations. That doesn't mean that you will never have it. This hits me so close to home. I have a lot of friends who have these sorts of problems. They are awesome people! Really great people! I wish I could do more for them. You've got awesome people too. There are people who care about you. Don't think you're alone and please don't think too badly about yourself. Please. This too, will pass.

 

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SMALL QUOTES

 

A Little Affirmation

Hey Anon,

You are the most beautiful person I've ever seen. But what's more is I can tell your mind and personality and everything that makes you Anon is even more radiant and perfect than what is on the outside. This isn't an attempt to try to be with you, as I know you deserve so much better than anything I could ever be. It's nothing more than a little note to one of God's masterpieces to lift his spirits in case he is ever feeling down.

From, that girl

I tried writing you a song, but my guitar is missing a string and it's really hard to rhyme things with Anon and not have it sound corny. :D

 

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"In these troubled times, nothing is sacred and nothing is fair. But you will be OK... Because you are so loved and cherished. You have so much, you just have to realize it."

 

(preferably in a soft undertone like you are talking to one of your closest friends or family)

 

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Morning sex

 

Unlike the frantic performance sex that descends after a night on the town, morning sex is deliciously unpretentious, relaxing, and slow. With the dust of sleep still in your eyes, an arching back, and the contented and effortless giggle, you toy with your lover. Gathering him or her in, as your ankles and buttocks arrived together under the sheets. Producing a grin on your lover's face before the new light of day has even touched his or her eyes.

 

Afterward you join the sun of a Saturday morning with a tranquil, satisfied relish. A tray of toasted muffins appears along with a pot of coffee. If there's a more perfect way to start the day, I haven't discovered it yet.

 

– DK

 
 

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You have way too low self-esteem!

Look into my eyes:

I Iove you just the way you are.

Do you believe me yet?

 

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Apology to a prophet

 

We fit together badly. You are always singing, and my body, jagged as a shipwreck, was wary of rocks.

I wanted your tall places – – to breathe minarets,

bleed spires. Ascend. You told me to kneel and

though I did not understand, I kiss the dirt. Pretended

it was your mouth. Now there is blood in the vineyard

which brings us back

to my rope – raw neck, the prophetic sonnets

inked to the underside of your skin.

We are singing the same song, you say,

but they are busy counting silver on my tongue.

 

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"Hello again. It's nice to see you again. Are your parents well? (Pause) Oh, I'm sorry to hear that, love... <stroke through hair> Do not worry love, everything will be ok. I will make sure all is well. (Kiss on forehead sound) You look ravishing in the moonlight my love. Would you like to stand on the balcony over yonder and watch the moon rise above the ocean? I know it's your favorite thing.

The ocean air is quite refreshing... <take deep breath) but you smell like delicate roses  in warm Summer fields, and you know that's my favorite... I just want to stay in this moment... I always enjoy our time together."

 

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If you love someone, tell him or her. Forget about the rules or the fear of looking ridiculous. What is truly ridiculous is passing up on an opportunity to tell someone that your heart is invested in him or her.

 

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Of course I love you. But telling you, even now, would cause more harm than good. You'd hang on to hope and continue living in pain for months, and I'd remain frozen between "we can't be together" and acting like we are anyway, neither of us getting more than a shadow of what we really want.

 

But I really hope you don't leave my life. I can't stand that thought.

 
 

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You have no clue how much I cared. How much I'd do anything to see you smile. How much it took me just to say good night sometimes. How hard I forced myself to believe things would be different this time. They weren't. But you're the first person I ever loved. And I don't think I will ever forget you.

 

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I'm probably going to fall in love with you a little if:

you don't realize how good-looking you are.

You employed old-fashioned terms of endearment

you do not bat an eye when I spontaneously launch into a different voice or accent in the middle of a sentence

you smell like something incredible from my childhood

you have enormous dreams

you distract me from my "real" life

you know how to listen

your self-deprecating but it comes across as funny, not uncomfortable

we cannot stop laughing around each other

you fall in love with me a little

 

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I want a hug.

But not just a normal hug. No. I want one of those pick–me–up–off–my–feet– squeeze–me–tight–spin–me–around–hurts–my–tummy–but–still–makes–me–smile– leaves–me–breathless–gives–me-butterflies–makes–me–giggle–stupidly kind of hug.

 
 

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I can't promise to fix all of your problems, but I can promise you won't face them all alone.

 

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It's crazy, because I don't even know when you became so important to me. It's like watching a snowstorm. You see the flakes falling, but you don't realize how they're adding up. Then suddenly, your whole lawn is covered. All these little things added up, and you're my snowstorm, baby!

 

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Things that fall

 

pedals

teardrops

snowflakes

rain

stars

tides

eyelids

time

shadows

leaves

the Sun

and I,

for you

 

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Crossing My Mind by Anonymous

 

I know I may never get a chance to tell you this, but you have no idea how much you cross my mind. Just the thought of you gives me warm feelings and fluttering butterflies in my stomach. I look forward to talking to you every time every day, every night, every minute if I could. You brighten up my days when I seem to be down. You provide me such comfort with your presence. It's something I want to keep in my life. You are someone I want to keep in my life. Someone simply amazing. Be safe, and come back to me.

 

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No Pity by Anon

 

I never want your pity unless it comes in the form of you sneaking into my bed in the middle of the night. I don’t need any of your excuses, I’d prefer to feel the warmth of your body against mine while I have you at my leisure to do as I please. I don’t need you to tell me I’m not good enough for you, or how I’m just not your type, because I could be. You should find out. I could wrap you around my finger with every kiss, every lingering hand crawling over you, engulfing you into sensation, a world of fantasy where nothing but you and I exist and time isn’t an issue because it’s like a dream you don’t want to wake up from. And I’m not asking for your love, not even to be your anything, but maybe a little of your time to show you a good time, because I can look in your eyes and can tell when you’re telling me no, you’re really hanging on the edge of temptation ready to conform to a new addiction involving me.

 

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Scars

 

I want to know how many scars you have

and memorize the shape of your tongue.

I want to climb the curve of your lower back

and count your vertebrae

your ribs

your fingers

your goosebumps.

I want to chart the topography of your anatomy

and be fluent in your body language.

I want you, entire.

 

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3/7/13

 

we cry over

friends we will never have back

people we once loved

bridges that have been burnt.

But there's a reason the past in the past.

You only have so much room in your life,

save it

for people that deserve it.

Chances are, if someone's in the past,

they deserve to

stay there.

 

– A. M.

 

====================================================================================================

You

 
 

I've spent hours contemplating

the words to say to you

but no combination

of 26 different letters

could ever accurately capture

even a sliver of what this feeling is

=====================================================================================================

Be Everything to You by Anon

 

I want to be that cute skinny hipster girl reading her obscure book in a little coffee shop and you just so happen to notice. I want you to be attracted to my childlike behavior but enjoy my mature conversations. I want us to fall in love one hot summer night and open up to each other that cold winter day. I want to travel with you and I want to grow old with you. I want my life to be an indie movie without the shitty and unoriginal ending. I just want to do everything with you and be everything to you.

 
 

=====================================================================================================

 

Write me something beautiful

without a single sheet of paper

or the use of a tedious pen.

 

I want the ink to spill from your tongue,

as your lips against mine

become the words,

and the fluidity of your hands

creates the punctuation.

 

Our breath will craft the diction,

as our kisses slowly

turn into paragraphs,

allowing the movement

of our bodies

to create the chapters

of this perfectly written novel

 

=====================================================================================================

 

FLAUBERT QUOTE

 

“I will cover you with love when next I see you, with caresses, with ecstasy. I want to gorge you with all the joys of the flesh, so that you faint and die. I want you to be amazed by me, and to confess to yourself that you had never even dreamed of such transports…. When you are old, I want you to recall those few hours, I want your dry bones to quiver with joy when you think of them”

— Gustave Flaubert, letter to his wife Louise Colet, 1846

 
 

=====================================================================================================

 

“I did not love you better but I also did not love you the way I loved anybody else. I loved you a shade darker than the night. I loved you secretly, you know, the way we used to stay up until 4 a.m. under the sheets because we were afraid our parents would find out. I loved you like someone was saving someone else from drowning, both gasping for air, both did not know how to swim, recklessly moving their feet against the water, then both sinking. I think I just did not love you enough, or maybe you didn’t love me enough to let me love you.”

—     Love Letter No. 6

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Love Letter (English)

 

As I write to you to know how much I love you, what you left in me, not just a lost dream, I write to let you know that my love is real and yours. I am writing to let you know of my crazy dreams, words spoken by you one day, I love you. But mine is a love that does not sleep, true love does not leave, do not forget, there is in you, there is me. You know ... It's hard to understand it was not the time or you were not for me, but comfort me the wonderful moments that time let me dream of you and I thank God for meeting you. For by means of this letter I want you to realize what I love you. The reason for having discovered my feelings for you, was that day and night thinking about you, I want you to know how much I miss you and how much I need. No distance ... No time. No because my love for you knows none of those things...

=====================================================================================================

Ghost by Anon

 

You’re just that weird guy that fades into the background. Some say you’re like a ghost. But ghosts are scary and you’re just cute and shy; plus ghost are dead. You’re not going to be the guy on the cover of a magazine making everyone drool. But you sure as hell make me stare with fascination. And although you doubt your abilities I think there is something magical about you. You’re a guy I’d like to know. Eat cake with, and when I’m tired I can use your butt as a suitable pillow. I sincerely like you.

=====================================================================================================

 

“I love you, okay? And it doesn’t matter whether you believe it or not because it will still be out there either way. I will repeat it every day until some of what I feel make its way to you. I will tend to your broken parts. I will wait. Love is patient. I will help you carry the weight on your back. I will stay. That’s all I can do— stay and love you and love you more and love you still. I love you. If you don’t have enough of it for yourself, have mine. Trust me, it is more than what could suffice both of us.”

—     Love Letter No. 5

=====================================================================================================

Dearest,

 

I feel certain that I am going mad again. I feel we can’t go through another of those terrible times. And I shan’t recover this time. I begin to hear voices, and I can’t concentrate. So I am doing what seems the best thing to do. You have given me the greatest possible happiness. You have been in every way all that anyone could be. I don’t think two people could have been happier till this terrible disease came. I can’t fight any longer. I know that I am spoiling your life, that without me you could work. And you will I know. You see I can’t even write this properly. I can’t read. What I want to say is I owe all the happiness of my life to you. You have been entirely patient with me and incredibly good. I want to say that — everybody knows it. If anybody could have saved me it would have been you. Everything has gone from me but the certainty of your goodness. I can’t go on spoiling your life any longer.

 

I don’t think two people could have been happier than we have been.

=====================================================================================================

 

“I watched you breathe air into a mannequin’s mouth and I envied something lifeless. Forgive me. Your passion ignites me, your humor makes a fool of my logic. You’re vulnerable in all the right places and I wish I could touch the part that hurts. You said ‘angina pectoris’ and I wished you said my name. Your hamstrings clenched and forgive me, I swear I wished I could be beneath you someday.”

—     Love Letter No. 4

=====================================================================================================

 

A note for him.

 

Thank you for loving me as much as you do. For being honest with me. For always making me happy. Because of you my life is at its peak. I will always have feelings for you. You may not tell me often but you show me all the time how much you care. You can always trust me to be there for you. You can trust me with anything. You can trust me. I’m sorry if I am not able to do much for you but I just want you to know how much I care about you.

=====================================================================================================

I Feel You Still by Anon

 

Do you remember when you told me about the times you thought you’d never get the chance?And how you told your cousin all the reasons why it’d never happen to you?Do you ever think back to those times?How does it feel to see that you were so wrong? You know I look at you like you’re some kind of magic beam of light.I look at you and think selfish things.Like no one could ever love you as much as I do.No one could take care of you the way I do.No one will open up to you and let you see everything the way that I do.But that’s all bullshit because you are so loveable.You are so gorgeous.You are not innocent but you have a purity about you that people try to sniff out and stomp on like the wild fire that it is.You have a heart the size of The Pacific,and it stands like an altar that I leave sunflowers on each day.Strong and blinding. I look at you and with every sad memory,joyful triumph,and fit of rage I beg that you stay.I won’t let myself hope because you are too good to be true,but young man I will beg on my knees,pray every day,and I will wait for you.I just want you to stay.Because the funny thing is,I smell you in my sheets,even though you’ve never been there.I feel you under my skin.

=====================================================================================================

Excerpts from your notes

 

-I hope i can see you today. i thought about you all night.

 

-I’ll support you with anything you want to do or any help that you need. You might not want it and that’s okay, but i’ll be there for you if you need me.

 

-You are the beat to my heart. I need you like music needs a melody. I’m not going anywhere baby. You light up my life and brighten my day. I want to be with you every moment of my life. I could never love anyone else as much as I love you. It just isn’t possible.

 

-This is your surprise. It’s a note haha. I miss you.

 

-I just wanted to tell you that when I’m with you, I’m not afraid of anything. I can be myself completely. I can pretty much say that all boundaries are gone.

 

The things that keep me smiling when you’re gone. =]

 

=====================================================================================================

 

“What should I tell you now? What else is left to say? If I open my brain and look for the remains of you, I’d only find the soft hum of your voice and the dark of your eyes. I am speechless. I told you I loved you three heartbreaks ago. I do not know. I can’t decide. But I haven’t changed my mind. It’s the only thing I am sure of: I haven’t changed my mind.”

—     Love Letter No. 3

 

=====================================================================================================

 

“When sometimes I stroll in silence, with you

Through great floral meadows of open country

I listen to your chatter, and give thanks to the gods

For the honest friendship, which made you my companion

But in the heavy fragrance of intoxicating night

I search on your lip for a madder caress

I tear secrets from your yielding flesh

Giving thanks to the fate which made you my mistress.”

 

- Vita Sackville-West to Violet Trefusis

=====================================================================================================

 

“We always have silent dates. The first time was when we met at the back of the library and we just sat beside each other, our eyes dancing to a tune the books made. We are two roads without intersections. The stairs were our witness, the Circulation section was our rendezvous. So today when we stood beside each other while waiting for our turns to have our bodies checked like an exam, our breaths had a conversation— I know you. I do know you.”

—     Love Letter No. 2

=====================================================================================================

 

“I love you because of you, of all of you…I fell in love with everything I know about you. There may be some more things that I haven’t found out about you yet but that’s one reason why I want to be with you… To get to know you, to find more things to love about you”

—     A Love Letter

=====================================================================================================

This Is For The Boy Who Worships Sadness (Love Letter No. 1)

 

You don’t know this but I am watching you from the sidelines. I always look at your faded photograph and I ache because in it, everything is dark and the only thing one could see is the right side of your face and the cigarette stick jutting from your pale lips. I have always wanted to touch your skin since I saw your pouting  mouth because it looked so soft to the touch. When you asked me about sadness, I told you there are songs to soothe your soul. There is poetry in every form and everything you see. There is someone who cares. When you didn’t answer back, I knew you were not convinced. Your story is something unknown to me. I do not know where your demons come from and where they rest. I have no idea where you go when you feel like your chest is splitting open or whether you shake from resisting the urge to see blood on your wrists. I am only a name among the many. There is only so much I could tell you. But here, I am reaching out, I am telling you that you are not alone. Trust me when I say that the night does not stretch forever. If you’d let me, I would paint the ocean in your head every single day to remind you that not everything that is deep is dark and terrifying. I will swim with you, let you float until you reach the shore. You are too wonderful to be so sad. And this is to say that I’ve only heard you spoke a few. What if I hear you croon? What if you weave a paragraph and make a novel out of your mind? Maybe you are broken and you don’t believe in anything anymore and you think of yourself as lost as your thoughts. But everything that is broken is beautiful. And if you’d let me, I will be your better mirror to make you see whatever you can’t

=====================================================================================================

 

Crush Confession

 

    Scene: Talking to a guy friend you’ve had a crush on for some time now, finally confessing. Just use the emotions you feel are present in the wording. Feel free to modify/adlib anything.

 
 

    Hey, so umm… I’ve kinda been, umm… you see there’s…  ahh, damnit. Ok *deep breath* ok, so here’s the deal, I am super, super nervous right now and I need you to just, not say anything, cause I have this thing I really need to get off my chest because I just, I can’t stand it anymore.  *quick, deep breath* So I have a bit of a crush on you, and by a bit I mean like, I really really like you, and I have for most of the time that I’ve known you. I really hope this doesn’t come as a surprise to you, but I know guys can be kinda oblivious  sometimes and its soooo annoying, I mean, learn to take a hint, gosh. Yeah but anyway I’ve been umm, admiring(?) you for so long. I’ve been waiting, and waiting, so patiently just thinking to myself “Oh maybe today he’ll finally make a move, or just do something to let me know” but you never did and it is so damn frustrating! You are on my mind constantly, I lie awake at night just dreaming that you’d sweep me off my feet and carry me off into the sunset or some bullshit like that, and then after I finally fall asleep I dream of… umm… less mentionable… things… but anyway.

 

    Its, its hard for me to explain… exactly how I feel. It’s like everything about you, all your little quirks and proclivities, they all make you seem just so, sweet and charming, and just being near you, and talking to you, getting to know you, makes me feel so giddy, and I swear sometimes I just wanna grab you, and cuddle you, and kiss you, but then I get really scared to think of how you would react. I mean if you just accepted my love everything would be great, but if you rejected me… I don’t think I could take it.

 

    So, I finally decided to that, if I couldn’t get you to act, then I would have to do it. I know this whole thing is totally out of the blue and its really awkward and I’m practically shaking right now I’m so nervous, but… umm… like me? Please?

 
 

=====================================================================================================

Regret

 

No one makes me feel as happy as you do. And considering my situation, I hope that means something. You make me feel like I finally matter to someone. Like I'm important. Wanted. Cared about. You know more about me, my life, my feelings than my closest friends and family. I care about you so fucking much. And I love you. Not just as a friend. As more.

 

I wish that every day I could wake up cuddling you, holding you. I would treasure every moment with you. And it breaks my heart that we'll probably never be together. I can't imagine my life without you in it. And I don't want a life without you in it somehow.

 

I feel so alone sometimes, and I know that you do too. I wish I could take that all away from you. I wish you'd let me.

 

You mean so much to me, and I'm too afraid to tell you, and too afraid to hear your response. But you are loved more than you know. You mean the fucking world to me, and I'll show you that if you give me a chance.

=====================================================================================================

 
 

 “It seems to me that almost all our sadnesses are moments of tension, which we feel as paralysis because we no longer hear our astonished emotions living. Because we are alone with the unfamiliar presence that has entered us; because everything we trust and are used to is for a moment taken away from us; because we stand in the midst of a transition where we cannot remain standing. That is why the sadness passes: the new presence inside us, the presence that has been added, has entered our heart, has gone into its innermost chamber and is no longer even there, is already in our bloodstream. And we don’t know what it was. We could easily be made to believe that nothing happened, and yet we have changed, as a house that a guest has entered changes. We can’t say who has come, perhaps we will never know, but many signs indicate that the future enters us in this way in order to be transformed in us, long before it happens. And that is why it is so important to be solitary and attentive when one is sad: because the seemingly uneventful and motionless moment when our future steps into us is so much closer to life than that other loud and accidental point of time when it happens to us as if from outside. The quieter we are, the more patient and open we are in our sadnesses, the more deeply and serenely the new presence can enter us, and the more we can make it our own, the more it becomes our fate; and later on, when it "happens" (that is, steps forth out of us to other people), we will feel related and close to it in our innermost being.”

—      Rainer Maria Rilke, from Letters To A Young Poet

=====================================================================================================

Missing You This Holiday Season-Sweet Talk by Sera

 

I miss you. This crazy holiday season seems to be just passsing in blur, carrying me along with it. I feel like we haven't talked in ages. I just want to curl up in your lap and feel your arms go around me, pulling me tight against your chest. I want to listen to your heartbeat and feel your chest rise and fall. I want to kiss you. To press my lips against yours, forever. I want to make you smile and laugh. Someday, I'm going to repay you for the way you make me feel...loved...beautiful...wanted...desired. You make me feel that way every day. I know I am in your thoughts, just as you are in mine. I love you and it makes getting through the day easier knowing that you are there, and that you love me too.

=====================================================================================================

  "Dear future lover,

I hope our love is the kind that I don't even have to think about. I hope I never have to convince myself to love certain part of you because I hope it all comes naturally. I hope our love is the kind that is quiet on the outside but loud on the inside. I want to love you like the space between lightning and thunder - electrified and alive but silent and knowing. And I want you to love me like the clouds love the rain. You're going to have to let me go on my own sometimes, but I will always come back and we will always be two parts of the same thing."

 

--Marianna Paige

=====================================================================================================

“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.”

 

― Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 9: The Kindly Ones  

=====================================================================================================

 

 "Maybe things don't happen for a reason. Maybe we're just grasping for ways to make sense of the chaos around us. Maybe we're giving meaning to things that have no meaning. Maybe we're clinging to hope so hard that we forget about reality. What if we're wrong and nothing is meant to be? We're just lost souls wandering endlessly, desperately, seeking comfort from the notion that things will work out in the end no matter what. What if we've tricked oursevles into believing that everything will be okay in the end just so we don't have to face the reality that maybe it won't?"

=====================================================================================================

Jacqueline Kennedy’s Letter:

 

And I remember when I met him it was so clear that he was the only one for me. We both knew it, right away and as the years went on, things got more difficult, we were faced with more challenges. I begged him to stay. To try to remember what we had in the beginning. He was charismatic, magnetic, electric & everybody knew it. When he walked in every women’s head turned, every one stood up to talk to him. He was like this hybrid, this mix of a man who couldn’t contain himself. I always got the sense that he became torn between being a good person & missing out on all of the opportunities that life could offer a man as magnificent as him. And in that way I understood him and I loved him. I loved him. I loved him. I loved him. And I still love him. I love him.

Jackie Kennedy on JFK

=====================================================================================================

“Despite what you may believe, you can disappoint people and still be good enough. You can make mistakes and still be capable and talented. You can let people down and still be worthwhile and deserving of love. Everyone has disappointed someone they care about. Everyone messes up, lets people down, and makes mistakes. Not because we’re inadequate or fundamentally inept, but because we’re imperfect and fundamentally human. Expecting anything different is setting yourself up for failure.”

—      Daniell Koepke

=====================================================================================================

 “Sleep with me. I couldn’t care less if we're wearing five layers of clothes, or nothing at all. You belong in my bed. You deserve to feel the comfort of what I call ‘paradise’.

Sleep with me. I’ll help you recreate the warmth that left your fingertips years ago. I want to hear you breathe easily, as the sound drowns out every single worry on my weary mind.

Sleep with me. I don’t mean to create such a sense urgency, but you deserve to feel safe, and I’ll do everything in my power to make that happen.”

—      Connotativewords | jl | Slumber

=====================================================================================================

 “Do not fall in love with people like me.

I will take you to

museums, and parks, and monuments,

and kiss you in every beautiful

place, so that you can

never go back to them

without tasting me

like blood in your mouth.

I will destroy you in the most

beautiful way possible.

And when I leave

you will finally understand,

why storms are named after people.”

—      Paraphrased and mixed from Katrina, M.K., and Unknown  

=====================================================================================================

 “Some periods of our growth are so confusing that we don’t even recognize that growth is happening. We may feel hostile or angry or weepy and hysterical, or we may feel depressed. It would never occur to us, unless we stumbled on a book or a person who explained to us, that we were in fact in the process of change, of actually becoming larger, spiritually, than we were before. Whenever we grow, we tend to feel it, as a young seed must feel the weight and inertia of the earth as it seeks to break out of its shell on its way to becoming a plant. Often the feeling is anything but pleasant. But what is most unpleasant is the not knowing what is happening. Those long periods when something inside ourselves seems to be waiting, holding its breath, unsure about what the next step should be, eventually become the periods we wait for, for it is in those periods that we realize that we are being prepared for the next phase of our life and that, in all probability, a new level of the personality is about to be revealed.”

—   Alice Walker (Living By The Word)

=====================================================================================================

 “Now, I’m not going to deny that I was aware of your beauty. But the point is, this has nothing to do with your beauty. As I got to know you, I began to realise that beauty was the least of your qualities. I became fascinated by your goodness. I was drawn in by it. I didn’t understand what was happening to me. And it was only when I began to feel actual, physical pain every time you left the room that it finally dawned on me: I was in love, for the first time in my life. I knew it was hopeless, but that didn’t matter to me. And it’s not that I want to have you. All I want is to deserve you. Tell me what to do. Show me how to behave. I’ll do anything you say”

—      Choderlos de Laclos, from Dangerous Liaisons

=====================================================================================================

 “You want me to talk about something real. I’ll give you something real: I wake up and have my morning coffee and fill my head with you and realize my head’s been always filled with you, and panic and get scared and sit down and listen to sad music and willfully overwhelm myself with bullshit and self-imposed confusion and then you call me and you’ve just woken up as well and you sound familiarly lovely in your very own dailiness and I get carried away and we go ahead designing our day together and planning to do ordinary or extraordinary stuff and I’m still in bed and I’m still drinking coffee and you’re still on my mind right before or right after I attempt deciding upon anything and my sense of self is shrinking away and I’m fucking scared but ceaselessly trust in how you make me feel and If I appear distant to you it is occasionally because vulnerability is not my thing and dependency either but even these terms are fine when it comes to how I perceive us and that’s terrifying. And real. And I wouldn’t want it ever to cease being exactly what it is.”

—      All These Things You Wish You’d Say

=====================================================================================================

 “I perhaps want to subconsciously alter you in my head and internalize you in my heart. Perhaps. No. It keeps happening; nothing feels intensely mine unless it involves you in some way. It’s always you in some sense. Then comes self-manipulation. Then comes everything essentially irrelevant and painfully relevant all at the same time. Then comes the world. Then come thoughts which are not thoughts; rather bits of some recklessly apathetic over-thinking which leads nowhere. I can distort memory. I hold the finest capability in doing that. What I cannot distort or willfully falsify or entirely wipe out is the fact that all of it is my choice. My own paradoxical, masochistically perpetual, all-consuming, beautiful choice.”

—      All These Things You Wish You’d Say

=====================================================================================================

commovente

 

what i find wonderful and nuts-and-a-half is that we’re all just human beings trying to scrape by in the best ways we can. let’s not forget that about each other. we’re all just very simply human and we’re trying our best. none of us are better than the others. many of us are privileged in a lot of ways, and many of us are disadvantaged in a lot of ways, but those are true things but it only means that we have to acknowledge our own and acknowledge others and understand that we all come from different places yet we’ve all found each other here now in our lives. i will never know what your city was like. i will never know what it was like to have your mother or father. there will never be a way that anyone can understand you as much as you can try to understand your own patterns of behavior. but that’s beautiful, it is. find the things that move you and stick with them, whether they be wind chimes or cantaloupes. it’s beautiful that we are all so different yet so very similar and so very human. there’s no point in thinking yourself better or worse than another being. your problems are as real as mine. my problems are as real as yours. we all have difficulties and loves and desires and hopes that are entirely our own — why compare our own successes and failures with other humans? (see: first sentence). let love in. let love out. breathe. it’s all going to be fine. i love you all very much.

=====================================================================================================

You Will Not Send Me Away

 

"No. You will not send me away. I won't let you. I love you too much. This is your Achilles heel. You are afraid of this unknown future we face at the end of college. You can't see the way forward and it bugs you. Makes you panic and run away.  And it's what is making you push me away so I can't--what? Can't see you fail? Can't SEE you run away? Yes, I sure do know you! This is the worst part about you--and there aren't a lot of those--which is why I love you.You're not a drinker, you don't hate, you're open to my kinks and stuff, and...and....I'm not going to let this happen. I am going to pull you to me, follow you around, stalk you--whatever.  We will figure this out together and when you find your spirit lagging, I will supply it. There are worse things in people that you don't have and the things that you do are what I care about.  The best thing you've got going for you, besides me, is a brilliant mind, a creative mind and we will figure out what the best thing to do with it is.    So <choking up> you do not get to send me away, got it?"  

=====================================================================================================

“I am not always thinking sweetly of you. I am thinking angrily or indignantly or sulkily, quite often, but I am never not thinking of you. More often than not I am just worried about you, concerned and distressed about my baby lamb being tired or unhappy–and of course often it is with mad, mad passion and sometimes it is naughty, sometimes, only sometimes is it dirty or even sadistic. You are all over me, in sorrow or in joy, all of the time – Oh yes in drunkenness too, in conversation, in work, with every breath and heart-beat.”

— Laurence Olivier, from a letter to Vivien Leigh

=====================================================================================================

 motivation for writing.

 

“You’re stuck? Poor you. Fuck it. It’s a mental thing. Don’t give in. Think through it. Karate-punch the story. Kick it in the teeth until it yields. You’re the boss. Worse comes to worse: write around the gap. Got a section where you don’t know what happens? Write in 144-point font: WHO THE FUCK KNOWS? FIGURE THIS FIDGETY SHIT OUT LATER and then write the next section. A stuck story might be you feeling stuck when really, the story’s zipping along just fine. And even if there really is a problem, you can’t always identify the problem until you’re done the whole damn thing. So: you’re stuck? Fuck it. Fuck you. You’re not the horse. You’re the rider. The one with the spurs, the buggy whip, the carrot at the end of a stick. Make it move. Get it done. Your words are a battering ram: knock the door down and walk on through.”

— Chuck Wendig

=====================================================================================================

You have become so vital a part of me that I’m completely upside down, if this means anything. I don’t know what I write- only that I love you, that I must have you exclusively, fiercely, possessively. I don’t know what I want. I’ve got too much, I guess. You’ve overwhelmed me and you’ve spoiled me. I keep asking harder and harder things of you. I expect you to accomplish miracles. You don’t know how I miss those nights we spent together- how much they meant to me. Other times you are just a phantom, a wrath. You come and you make me sick with desire, with a desire to possess you, to have you around me always, talking to me naturally, moving about as if you were a part of me.

 

Henry Miller to Anais Nin

 

=====================================================================================================

 

extrasad:

 

"I want to call you and ask you if you remember the first time we kissed and how you sighed and smiled and told me I tasted like coffee and the entire galaxy. I want to ask you if you remember the first night we spent together and how we barely touched each other but you pushed my hair out of my eyes and told me you loved me and suddenly we were the world.    I want to ask you if you remember the sound of my voice and that time it rained so hard that our tears washed away and you held

me so tightly I think we melted into each other.  I want to call you and ask you if you still love me but I can’t remember your phone number”

=====================================================================================================

“I untangled my fingers from her hair, as my hands slowly found their way along her arms and settled onto the inward curves of her hips.

I could keep my face buried in her neck for hours, but my lips anxiously wandered down the road of her spine – wading along like a gondolier on still Italian waters.

My eyes remained closed as her breath led the way. I could not care less that I’d gotten lost a thousand times that night because everywhere I touched her, it felt like home. At times, I believed that I was no longer alive, because every time I kissed her, it felt like heaven.”

— Connotativewords | jl | Euphoria

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“And kid, you’ve got to love yourself. You’ve got wake up at four in the morning, brew black coffee, and stare at the birds drowning in the darkness of the dawn. You’ve got to sit next to the man at the train station who’s reading your favorite book and start a conversation. You’ve got to come home after a bad day and burn your skin from a shower. Then you’ve got to wash all your sheets until they smell of lemon detergent you bought for four dollars at the local grocery store. You’ve got to stop taking everything so goddam personally. You are not the moon kissing the black sky. You’ve got to compliment someones crooked brows at an art fair and tell them that their eyes remind you of green swimming pools in mid July. You’ve got to stop letting yourself get upset about things that won’t matter in two years. Sleep in on Saturday mornings and wake yourself up early on Sunday. You’ve got to stop worrying about what you’re going to tell her when she finds out. You’ve got to stop over thinking why he stopped caring about you over six months ago. You’ve got to stop asking everyone for their opinions. Fuck it. Love yourself, kiddo. You’ve got to love yourself.”

— (via ellie-sigh)

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 “Marry someone who lets you have a bite of their brownie, even when you said you weren’t hungry. Marry someone who laughs at the same things you do. Marry someone who kisses your nose on a cold day. Marry someone who you can watch Disney movies with. Marry someone who is proud of you whether you earn £5 a week or £5,000 a week. Marry someone who you can tell everything to. Marry someone who isn’t afraid or embarrassed to hold your hand in public. Marry someone who lets you take over when decorating a cake. Marry someone who you can spend the day in Ikea with without feeling stressed. Marry someone who wraps you up inside their coat in the winter. Marry someone who accepts your fears and phobias. Marry someone who gives you butterflies every time you hear their key in the door. Marry someone who you don’t always have to shave your legs for. Marry someone who accepts you all day every day, even when you don’t look or feel your best. Marry someone who puts three sugars in your tea, despite telling them “just the two”. Marry someone who doesn’t judge you when you eat your body weight in cookies. Marry someone who doesn’t make you want to check your phone, because you know they will reply. Marry someone who waits with you to get on the train. Marry someone who understands that you need to be alone sometimes. Marry someone who gets on well with your parents and isn’t uptight about family events. Marry someone who calms you down when you get mad about stupid stuff, and never tells you it’s “only stupid stuff”. Marry someone who makes you want to be a better person. Marry someone who makes you laugh. Marry someone who you love. Marry your soulmate, your lover, your best friend.”

—      (via forever-and-alwayss)

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violentwavesofemotion

“

 

Don’t talk to me of love. I’ve had an earful

And I get tearful when I’ve downed a drink or two.

I am one of your talking wounded.

I am a hostage. I am maroonded.

But I am in Paris with you.

 

Yes, I am angry at the way I’ve been bamboozled

And resentful at the mess that I’ve been through.

I admit I am on the rebound

And I don’t care where are we bound.

I am in Paris with you.

 

Do you mind if we do not go to the Louvre,

If we say sod off to sodding Notre Dame

If we skip the champs Elysees

And remain here in this sleazy

Old hotel room

Doing this or that

To what and whom

Learning who you are,

Learning what I am.

 

Don’t talk to me of love. Let’s talk of Paris,

The little bit of Paris in our view.

There’s that crack across the ceiling

And the hotel walls are peeling

And I am in Paris with you.

 

Don’t talk to me of love. Let’s talk of Paris.

I am in Paris with the slightest thing you do.

I am in Paris with your eyes, your mouth,

I am in Paris with all points south.

Am I embarrassing you?

 

I am in Paris with you.

”

—      James Fenton, from In Paris With You

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"Hey. Do you know what I like best about you? Your mouth. Definitely your mouth. Your smile is so beautiful and your lips are full and kissable. You have a smile that shines brighter than any star, making my insides quiver with pure delight. If you smile, I’ve done something right, and that’s when I’ll kiss you. I’ll take advantage of your smile, your one moment of laughter or playfulness and capture your lips with my own. You’ll protest softly, you always do, but then you kiss me back like my mouth is your only source of air. Our tongues fight for dominance and I’ll let you win, but next time you might not be so lucky. You know what? Maybe I like your eyes just as much as your mouth. Well, because they tell me what your lips won’t. When you’re upset, or having a bad day, you’ll keep it to yourself, but you’ll look at me and your eyes will tell me a story you would never verbalize. When you’ve had a bad day, your eyes are dark, but they glisten as if you tried to cry the pain away and was left with just the deep pools of raw emotion. But, when you’re happy, it’s the best thing on earth. Really, it is! Did you know that your eyes change color when you’re happy? Usually, when you wake up in the morning, you’ll roll over and hug me – that’s when your eyes are a beautiful shade of green. No, don’t tell me you have brown eyes, I know you do baby, but that deep shade of emerald green is burned into my memory and every time you smile I search for that color in your eyes. That’s how I know how you really feel. I’ve never seen so much love in someone’s eyes before I met you. You know, now that I think about it, I like everything about you. I wouldn’t change anything about you - no, not even your brain. Or your hair. Or your small ears – stop, okay? I love you. I love all of you."

 

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 “You are the sun. The sun doesn’t move, this is what it does. You are the Earth. The Earth is here for a start, and then the Earth moves around the sun. And now, we’ll have an explanation that simple folks like us can also understand, about immortality. All I ask is that you step with me into the boundlessness, where constancy, quietude and peace, infinite emptiness reign. And just imagine, in this infinite sonorous silence, everywhere is an impenetrable darkness. Here, we only experience general motion, and at first, we don’t notice the events that we are witnessing. The brilliant light of the sun always sheds its heat and light on that side of the Earth which is just then turned towards it. And we stand here in it’s brilliance. This is the moon. The moon revolves around the Earth. What is happening? We suddenly see that the disc of the moon, the disc of the moon, on the Sun’s flaming sphere, makes an indentation, and this indentation, the dark shadow, grows bigger…and bigger. And as it covers more and more, slowly only a narrow crescent of the sun remains, a dazzling crescent. And at the next moment, the next moment—say that it’s around one in the afternoon—a most dramatic turn of event occurs. At that moment the air suddenly turns cold. Can you feel it? The sky darkens, then goes all dark. The dogs howl, rabbits hunch down, the deer run in panic, run, stampede in fright. And in this awful, incomprehensible dusk, even the birds…the birds too are confused and go to roost. And then…complete Silence. Everything that lives is still. Are the hills going to march off? Will heaven fall upon us? Will the Earth open under us? We don’t know. We don’t know, for a total eclipse has come upon us. But…but no need to fear. It’s not over. For across the sun’s glowing sphere, slowly, the Moon swims away. And the sun once again bursts forth, and to the Earth slowly there comes again light, and warmth again floods the Earth. Deep emotion pierces everyone. It’s still not over.”

—      Werckmeister Harmonies (2000)

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 “I tried to give you books, but you told me that any kind of reading put you to sleep. And I tried to believe you, but all I could focus on was that magazine peeking outside of your purse.

I tried to turn you into poetry, but you refused to rhyme the way I thought you would.

I tried to mend you with my bare hands, but you insisted that you were never broken to begin with. I apologize if the scars on your hips told me otherwise.

I tried to love you, but you told me not to waste my time. I tried to walk away, but your hands had a way of gripping onto my shirt a little too tightly.

If you wanted me, you had such an odd way of letting me know.”

—      Connotativewords | jl | Playful

 

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 “You’re in my veins. No. You’re in my heart. No. You’re in my blood. No. Yes. You’re in every part I call mine and in all parts I dare not name or know and yet love. Silence. Let me have it out: I am a weak person but I’m brave when it comes to loving you. I can’t bear the uncertainty I currently read in your eyes; I can’t bare to witness the fear inside your gaze — that terror over me possibly hurting myself or over you not being able to be with me in all the ways you used to. I can’t bare you feeling that you have to tear yourself in two halves in order to please me so that we can both pretend that everything’s precisely as it was. I’m not interested in the leftovers, darling. I’m interested in the whole thing. I’ve been loving the whole thing. So, we’re still here and it’s supposed to be enough; first impersonal morning text and what has changed howls mercilessly and I feel bad. 10-minute alone meeting before others actually join us and we’re both feeling uncomfortable and we’re both craving that others’ arrival is going to take some of the uneasiness away. And still, I look at you and all I feel for you is love. I look at you and every sense of discomfort turns into an emotional overflow and I can’t think, I can’t pretend, I can’t conceal the feeling, I can’t put the emotion away, I can’t silence my own fearful silence. I look at you and I love, I love, I love. And if that means that I should let go, I will, although in truth, I won’t. Ever. It’s just going to feel like I’m distancing. I will because perhaps, right now, this is what we mutually need. I will because what I feel for you is infinite. I will because in spite of my fear, I know, we’ll both be alright. I will, because what matters to me more than my own self-protection is the love itself. And since I know it’s love, I will because I’m not scared. I’m more scared to stay without staying; I’m more scared to put on a mask and compromise when I know, deep in my heart, that I can’t compromise. I can’t settle for anything less than what we had. I don’t want to settle for anything else. If I’m honest with myself, I really, truly need to leave and turn this absence into an honest, powerful and solid presence. And I don’t know whether I have the guts to do it but I promise that if I’ll be doing it, it won’t be an act of escapism. It’s going to be an act of bravery. And you’ll hopefully understand. You’ll hopefully come to feel that this is the way I have loved you and this is my way of continuing to love you. I’d rather go away, darling. I’d rather go away than rot inside some false half-friendship. I’d rather go away than come back home to myself each night and get to feel as empty as a shadow, as vacant and ghost-like as someone who didn’t dare do any justice to what they were feeling. I am not scared of loneliness, darling. I am scared of losing track of what’s real and what’s not. I am scared to begin doubting my own soul strength when it comes to loving you, me, and us. I don’t want that. I love you too much for that. I still love this so frightfully much. But I want to love it for what it is, not for what it isn’t, wasn’t and shall never be. And it’s not ever going to be mediocre. Ever. We wouldn’t let it. I’m sure.”

—      All These Things You Wish You’d Say

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Dear Future Daughter:

 

1) When you’re at some party, chain smoking on the roof with some strange girl with blue hair and exorbitant large dark eyes, ask her about her day. I promise you, you won’t regret it. Often times you’ll find the strangest of people have the most captivating of stories to tell.

 

2) Please, never mistake desire for love. Love will engulf your soul, whilst desire will emerge as acid, slowly making it’s way through your veins, gradually burning you from the inside out.

 

3) No one is going to fucking save you, anything you’ve read or heard otherwise is bullshit.

 

4) One day a boy is going to come along who’s touch feels like fire and who’s words taste like vanilla, when he leaves you, you will want to die. If you know anything at all, know that it is only temporary.

 

5) Your mental health comes before school baby, always. If its midnight, and you have an exam the next day but your hands have been shaking for the past hour and a half and you’re not so sure you want to be alive anymore, pull out that carton of Ben and Jerry’s and afterwards, go the fuck to bed. So what if you get a 68% on the exam the next day? You took care of yourself and at the end of the day that will always come before a high test score. To hell with anyone who tells you differently.

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 “You’re in bed and you’re hearing your parents talk. You’re just hearing the lovely lilt of it. It’s this beautiful music, and you want to be a part of it, and it doesn’t matter that you don’t understand. And that mystery of not knowing what they’re saying is a wonderful mystery. And you’ll never know what they’re saying. Even if you knew the words, you still wouldn’t know what they were saying. I remember that, I remember listening to just the sounds of language and thinking it was so beautiful, or more the intonations, the ups and downs. The contours. Which has an interesting connection with T.S. Eliot, when he said, about The Wasteland, that it doesn’t matter if you don’t know the languages that are in it, you just let it wash over you. That’s an interesting bumping up against that childhood experience, overhearing just the contours. How comforting it is.”

—       Dorianne Laux, from Mattress Talk

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Morning Interlude

 

Slowly waking up, I reach for my phone to turn my alarm off, I’m wrapped up in your arms and legs in bed. Your body feels warm and strong, a shield of protection from the cool morning air and the early morning hour.

 

You make me feel so fragile, inside and out. I like it. There’s an unspoken understanding that I can let my guard down, that I can be me without apology or embarrassment. Whether that is you taking my hand and spinning me in the parking lot as we walk into the grocery store because you know it will garner a huge smile or the way you silently suffer an entire night out, knowing there’s nothing covering me underneath my short skirt, also knowing I’m only doing it to find out what will happen to me once we’re alone together.

 

I slowly and gently shift in your embrace until I’m facing the softest, most relaxed version of you. Your days are stressful, long and difficult. Your evenings busy and over too soon. But now, right now I have you all to myself, the dreamy, peaceful you.

 

My hands begin to wander, over you cheek and down your bicep, I reach around your body, squeezing you tightly, not being able to get close enough to you. Your eyes open, seeing my own sleepy gaze staring right back at you.

 

Without a word you roll me on top of you, giving me exactly what I need, more access to you. Letting my head rest on your shoulder as you kiss my forehead and hold me close. Soon the closeness will be too much for either of us to bear and our desire will take over, but not yet. For now we lay, get lost in the sound of our hearts beating and the warmth of our bodies.

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Physically, yes I can live without you. 
I can eat, breathe, and sleep all without you.

 

But if I’m not sharing half of a medium pizza with you, then I don’t want to eat.

 

And if I can’t feel your body move up and down as you breathe, I see no purpose in breathing.

 

And if I’m not waking up chest deep wrapped in your arms, then I don’t want to sleep.

 

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 “To love. To be loved. To never forget your own insignificance.

To never get used to the unspeakable violence and the vulgar disparity of life around you. To seek joy in the saddest places. To pursue beauty to its lair. To never simplify what is complicated or complicate what is simple. To respect strength, never power. Above all, to watch. To try and understand. To never look away. And never, never, to forget.”

—      Arundhati Roy

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 “My body literally aches at the thought of never seeing you again.”

—      Connotativewords | jl

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"All the Things She Never Said"

 
 

Hey. I got your message. Sorry I couldn't return the call, I was in class.

 

I know today's the big day. You're leaving for the military. I want you to know that I love you more than anything, and that six years isn't forever.

 

When you come back home I'll be waiting. I'm not going to be out looking for any other guy to fill your place. I'll visit you during the summers. I'll focus on college and some day we'll be together again.

 

I heard you biked to campus to try to see me one last time before your flight. You biked through a blizzard, you idiot. But I love you for it.

 

I'll write you, I promise. Be safe, and don't get shot. You'll make it through. I believe in you.

 

When you get back we'll go up to north to that state park you wanted to show me. We'll go do everything we missed out on. I can't wait to wake up with your arms around me again.

 

I've gotta go now, class is about to start. But remember, I'll be here waiting for you. I love you so much.

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Back from Basic

"You're back. You're really, truly back. No, no don't move. I just need to hug you for awhile, just a little longer. I have to feel that you're really here.

God, I missed you so, so much. Our bed is so large, so cold with just me in it. If I sit in the middle I feel like I couldn't reach the edges. Oh, how I missed how small that bed could be.

Feeling your warmth there, your back so hot and hard and soft at the same time. Fighting for the covers, pulling them back and forth between us. Our legs entwining and falling asleep and tingling together every night.

And I missed the way you'd hold me as we'd fall asleep. Hug me tighter, let me feel you again. [sigh/laugh] You're so tall, I always feel like a little girl again. I feel so safe in your arms.

[breath in deeply] It's you! Oh, it is you, you haven't changed. Your hair is short and your arms are thicker, but I know that smell. I had to suffer as it faded from our bed, a little more each time I washed the sheets. You have no idea how much I cried when only flowers and bleech remained. I had to wash them again they were so wet.

And now you're back, and I'm never letting you go again!

I love you. Oh God, how I love you."

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You are not alone in this. I know feeling alone and having do deal with all the things that you have to deal with is one of the worse feelings in the world. Feeling isolated, strained, tired, like just one more little push is needed to break you, like you're just about ready to crack. Just know that I am here, right beside you willing to walk with through all of it, and not just say it's going to be alright, but actually be right here with you.

 

You are important to me, you matter to me, and so do your feelings. Don't feel bad that I am here, I want to be here. Don't ever think I would wand to be anywhere else, besides right here, right now, with you.

 

So, will you let me help you? Please let me help you. I love you. I want to do anything I can to show you that. Anything. Big or small, day or night, anything. Just name it and, I'll do my best. Don't be afraid to call or ask me for help.

 

Everything will be okay. I'll try my hardest to make it happen, but you gotta keep on trying too. Anything bad that happens or what anyone else says, it does not define who you are. You can get through it, just don't give up. And even if things don't work out and everything doesn't turn out okay, at least we still got each other. I am not going anywhere. I love you.<kiss>

 

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Unrequited Love Confession

 

Guys, I'm crying right now. Just looking at this picture makes me feel something strange inside. I guess you could call it "love". I'm in love with you. I've lost interest in anybody besides you.

You are really all I think about all day, every day. I really do cry myself to sleep at night thinking about how I'll never be with you. If only you knew I existed in this life, if only you knew my deep profound love for you. I know that will never happen though. That is the thought that makes me so sad when I look at you. I'll never be with you, but I'll continue to love you until the day I die.

 

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Simply read the following, adding in any pauses or emphases you need to get it to feel 'right'. If you want to add more to it, who am I to stop you?

 

I love you more than anything else in the world. Whenever I'm away, I want nothing more than to be with you. And when we're together, I want to stay there forever. You are the most wonderful and amazing person that I have ever met. You are always there for me when I need you, and always have been. I would cross the world for you, just to see your smile and return it in kind. When I'm down, you cheer me up. When I'm alone, you're by my side. And when I want to crawl into a hole and never emerge, you're there to bring me back out and show me just how wonderful everything is. With every last fiber of my being, I. Love. You.

 

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Her Happy Place

 

You always see the good in me. I love you so so much. It wasn't easy for me to say that stuff to you yesterday, because I was scared of what you'd think. I didn't want to come off like some love-sick teenager. But I have to tell you what I feel. I know it's true because I'm even feeling this way at dance. Which is crazy because dance has always been my escape and distraction from everything. Now all I can thinnk about at dance is you, and how I'd rather be with you. You're my escape now. You distract me.  I need you. It's all true, though. I want to be your wife. I want to be with you all the time. I want to have your babies. I wouldn't even mind settling somewhere else. I want to experience everything with you. <I know, I know, but let me get it out. > Being with you is the best feeling in the whole world. I can't even begin to describe how perfect it feels to be in your arms. I want more than anything in the world to just be able to kiss you goodnight every night and wake up with you every morning. You are my happy place, my home.

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These are some horoscopes I found on Tumblr. Now, Horoscope writers tend to either be like high school girls naming traits,  low-end con-artists practicing tricks, or seemingly overintelligent writers being defiantly vague and wordy. I take that back, they are all vague. But these feel like sweet talk. Don't they?

 
 

Aries –

Sometimes paper cuts feel like bullet holes and it isn’t always easy to look past your hindsight. Usually it’s the people you trust the most that carry around salt to pour into your newest wounds. I’m sorry you have to keep looking over your shoulder, ready to run. I hope you can stomach the strength to find your independence.

 

Taurus –

Unread letters are exciting in the way haunted houses are around Halloween when you’re five and you still believe in all the theatrics, all the blood and guts covering the walls. When you get older you know it’s make-up and you can’t muster it up to scream anymore, so instead you laugh with your head held high. Keep that confidence when you’re holding your tongue, too scared to send the letter, your finger hovering over the send button. The butterflies in your stomach are just theatrics, too.

 

Gemini –

A lot of people learn to swim when they get thrown into the water, flailing and clutching, and their fight or flight instinct kicks in and it’s the first time they have to learn to save themselves. Pull the thorn out of your side, take the knife out of your back. There’s no superheroes in the real world. You’re the best you’ve got. There’s a wolf howl paired with an ambulance siren in the dead of the night echoing in you. Look danger in the face and laugh.

 

Cancer –

There’s a common misconception about the people that walk around with barbed wire laced around their heart: That they’re invincible and can’t be scarred. It’s not true. When the electric fence caves in, it’s going to shock that bleeding closed fist to life like a second chance, like a welcome home. A current is going to course through their veins until they’re forced to risk it all again.

 

Leo –

I think you were born backwards. You’ll dye your hair a different color every week because you’re never satisfied and you’ll stay up until you pass out, all adrenaline rush meets morphine drip. I’m scared for the day your legs give out beneath you and you fall to the ground, because you never spent the time learning how to crawl; You jumped to your feet and swore you could fly.

 

Virgo –

Falling stars are meant for making wishes, like throwing pennies into water fountains, like pressing your eyes shut tight at 11:11. Like it’s only for that small moment of time that Fate stops, holds her breath, and listens to you. She forgets about what the stars are screaming to her, what Coincidence insists upon shoving down her throat, what Luck believes in so violently that it shakes him to his core. Fate stops. She listens. For a wisp of time, long enough for you to count your blessings and spew them into the air, fingers crossed that this will be the time she takes a peek into your dream journals and picks the wildest one to make come true. Then Fate exhales, and she carries on, and so do you.

 

Libra –

Sometimes your lungs get weak when you see something so beautiful it knocks the wind out of you without laying a finger on you. A sunset over the grand canyon from the hood of a beat up car. A wildflower field in the middle of nowhere, unblemished from our own hands. Weddings and the love is bursting from every pore, every fiber of their being. Newly born animals with all the innocence every God ever imagined could fill into one small body. You, with your grace like an esteemed ballerina, eyes reflecting off waterfalls so even when you’re falling apart, you’re leaking out a purity that will grow into something equally as good.

 

Scorpio –

You brought to life Khaleesi, you Medusa draped in jewelry made of shark teeth. I’m proud of how strong and brave you’ve become but I’m ashamed to see that block of ice where a warm heart should be. I’m sorry the world showed you so much heartache and hurt that you felt like you had to hide that passion in your eyes. Paint your nails the color of raspberries, of sunsets, of cotton candy, of their eyes. Stop biting them down to the skin. Let them grow out. Use them for knives. Remind everyone that you’re so much mythical magic and you’re nursing a dragon back to health.

 

Sagittarius –

There’s a vast majority of people who have a fear of heights, especially when it comes to plane rides. Being hundred of feet in the air, soaring through the sky where you can look out the window and make eye contact with birds and clouds. It’s scary to leave your troubles on the ground, somewhere you can’t pretend they're tangible and over think until you’re blue in the face. It’s even more scary to know you could taste the sky, to know this is the closest you can get to your own set of wings, in a position where you can’t even have control. You’re not afraid of heights or even of falling. You’re afraid of the loss of control.

 

Capricorn –

It’s easy to feel like you’re on top of the world when you’re shutting out the voices and refusing to see past your rose-tinted glasses. I’m sure it must be nice to tune out the feelings and anything that can break through your ribs to tug at your heart strings. Habits are easy to make, harder to break, easier so to pick back up. You’re a pro at getting lost inside hazy bars and waking in up in beds that aren’t your own. The fact that you can’t unhinge your own jaw but want to point fingers at everyone else will be your biggest downfall. We both know you can catch yourself before you shatter, but I’m trying to let you know you don’t have to do it all on your own. There’s a path of neon lights and bottle caps leading you to the chalk outline outside my door.

 

Aquarius –

Logic can get confusing. More often than not, it’s harder to wrap your head around than speaking in riddles. Riddles are interpretations, like body language and did they mean to touch my hand or was that absolutely, without a doubt, intentional? Logic demands reason and rhyme. It demands to make sense but this life never made sense for one damn second and I’ve gotten too accustomed to seething and growing in the chaos. I crave it like ice cream in the summer, like hot chocolate in the winter. I know how to clean up a mess. I know how to make the mess. I don’t know how to speak in a way that makes sense. I don’t know how to think logically about something that’s causing my heart to skip a beat, because the thought of that in itself is illogical.

 

Pisces –

When I think of you, I think in cliches. Of mermaids luring to death. Something so beautiful and something that was never meant to be tamed, to be domesticated, to be turned into cartoons and children’s stories. Faeries in the forest, and people ripping off their wings and then they’re shunned from their own community. There was never anything here to turn into a child’s play time entertainment. You were meant to be wild. To run. To live. To teach. You were meant to be more. You weren’t made for apologies or for sugar dissolving into water. You were meant to be the bitter aftertaste of blood in their mouth, to serve as a reminder that even the sweetest looking things know how to burn and claw and scratch themselves free.”

 
 

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“After tonight I learned that there’s a difference between someone who loves you and someone who is in love with you. Someone who just loves you is going to be there for you temporarily and a person whose in love with you will always remain there because you have a spot in their heart no one could ever fill..”

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 “I can fall in love with anyone but I’m staying in love with you.”

—      sweet trances #21, V.I.

 “Imagine spending Friday nights, after a long and tiring week of work, with the person that you love and the first touch that you feel is the warmth of his skin against yours and you feel like every exhaustion and weariness from your body  is gone, just because of one sweet and long embrace. Then, Saturday nights would turn into movie dates at home with a box of four-cheese pizza and barbecue flavoured popcorn while cuddling on bed with intervals of kisses and smiles and we feel like the luckiest people on Earth. The both of you will fall asleep in each other’s arms after movies, more cuddles and making love. And Sunday morning will come and you’ll see the person that you love the most beside you and you’ll stare at his angelic face for a long while and you’ll be feeling impish, so you decided to wake him up by kissing his nose and then his lips until he wakes up and you’ll greet each other the sweetest “Good morning, That’s what I want to have with you.

—      sweet trances #37, V.I. (serious editing version)

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 “I am the kind of person who gets attached easily especially when I know that you care about me so much and you mean every word that you say to me. I easily hold on to words and that is my weakness. I always tell myself not to hold on to those things, to suppress everything, to shut off my emotions, to always think of what will happen in the most pessimistic way so that I wouldn’t get hurt in the end. But all of it were put to trash because you unconsciously and suddenly became an exception to it.”

—      sweet trances #25, V.I.

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I want to be someone’s drunken phone call

Because then even though their mind is clouded

With the haze of alcohol

They could remember that you are what they want.

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I hate waiting. But if it's for you, I'll wait.

Your arms around me feel like home. I'm homesick

Maybe, I just wanna be yours

I can't say exactly when I fell for you or why everything changed all of a sudden. All I know is taht one day, I woke up and felt every cell in my body needing you.

You'll never love yourself half as much as I love you, and you'll never treat yourself right, but I want to.

I don't know what my future holds, but I'm hoping you're in it.

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 “I’m sorry for falling asleep while you were still awake, love. I didn’t mean to do that. I felt tired and weary and I just had to rest my eyes for a couple of hours. I swear from the heavens that I’d spend every day of every minute just to talk to you but we need time apart, too, you know. Don’t worry, I won’t sleep until forever; I’d still wake up in the morning just for you. You’re the reason behind my smiles in the morning and you’re the reason behind my smirks at night before I go to sleep. You never fail to put a smile on my face no matter what time of the day it is as well as the messages that you drop on my inbox everyday when I doze off without even saying a word. Perhaps, I don’t want to say any good bye or good night because I cannot take the thought of not seeing you again in the morning; perhaps that could be one way of telling you that I don’t want any of our conversations to end anytime soon. I giggle every time I hear the words, “I miss you.”, from you just because I am sleeping. How can you miss someone so much even if she’s just sleeping? I suppose when you really care about someone so much, you always want to be updated on what they are doing as long as you are sure that they are safe then every nerve in your body will come down. After all, I won’t mind spending my always with you.”

—      sweet trances #30, V.I.

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 “If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you.”

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Forever is a long, long time, but I wouldn't mind spending it by your side. Tell me that every day, I get to wake up to that smile and I wouldn't mind. I wouldn't mind it at all.

—      Winnie the Pooh

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 “Babe I want you to know that I love you and I care about you so much. I may not show it every day, I may not act like I am, I may tease you a lot to the point where in you get mad sometimes but trust me, deep inside me, I deeply care for you. I love you. I usually say it indirectly so listen to my words intently. Read between the lines. The times that I always remind you to put your seatbelt on, never text or call me when you’re driving, take your meals everyday at the right time, rest after your work, the hugs that I give you whenever I feel like being clingy, my random kisses on your cheek, the way I stare at your eyes that caught my heart. Babe these are just some of the ways that I show you that I love you. Never feel that you are unloved because I love you. I do. Never forget that.”

—      sweet trances #31, V.I.

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 “Can we go back to days when we weren’t nervous to tell what we feel for each other? Where our I miss yous and I love yous were uttered like a prayer? Can we go back to that day and repeat it today and for the rest of our life?”

—      sweet trances #51, vega.

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 “I don’t ever want you to think that you’re worthless because you mean a lot more than you can imagine to me. Fuck all the people who think that you are worthless because probably they don’t even know the real you. Do they even know the real reasons behind who you are now? Do they even know your worst sides? Do they even know your good sides? I guess not. Never listen to people who always tell you negative utterance about yourself. Never degrade who you are just because that’s how you see yourself based from what you’ve done in your life up to this point. Just listen to the people who always bring you up and encourage you. I’ve known your worst sides, probably not all, but I understand every situation. And damn, I even loved for you that — I still do. Look, babe. Just listen to me. You mean a lot to me and the last thing that I’d do and will surely not do to you is to make you feel anything less about yourself because you are worthy, okay?”

—      sweet trances #35, V.I.

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 “Sometimes the only choice I have is to sleep because maybe, just maybe, that’s where I will be able see you and talk to you. Even just in my dreams, love, I still want it to be you.”

—      sweet trances #13, V.I.

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I love you. Just wanted to say it to you. And since you are not here, I just had to write it. Even though you're going to be home soon, it doesn't ease my hunger for you. So, till then, darling, just remember that I love you.

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When someone can make you see this broken world as beautiful, they're worth keeping around.

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 “I never wanted us to end this way, you crying and me in pain. These past months weren’t the best for both of us, but I’m glad we tried. That’s what love is all about taking chances and forgiving one another. The scary thing about falling in love is that I don’t believe the second time will be the same. I know I fell in love with you for a reason and deep down I’ll always be thinking about you and what we could have been…”

—      baefiveoneoh (I’ll be missing you..)

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    my hands are craving for your touch and your scent that lingers every time you hold my hand and i think i want to be locked in your arms forever.

 

 “I hate it whenever you are mentioning about me forgetting you in the future cos that thought did not slip my mind — not even once. So whenever I keep on talking about the things that I want to do with you, what I really mean is that I see a future with you, love.

And that future consists of:

a ton of laughter together til our tummy aches,

watching a lot of movies as we lazily lay down on the couch hugging each other til one of us falls asleep in each others’ arms,

traveling the world with you,

taking long (nature) walks together,

going to arcades at the mall because we both miss being a kid,

staying up all night talking to each other on the bed,

kisses under the rain,

making out while our favourite The 1975 song plays in the background,

planning on a vacation at the hotel together,

playing XBOX with you as you hug my back and lay your head on my shoulders,

walking our dogs together at the park,

watching the stars at night,

more intimate moments together,

laying down naked in bed with you,

decorating for holidays,

and a lot more than you can imagine.

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I could talk about this for hours and I swear one day or even two is not enough to tell you how much I want to spend my lifetime with you. So please stay with me, love, as long as we both live and I promise to stay with you til my heart beat stops. Never ever think that I will forget you because when I found you, I already see you as someone who would stay with me until the end.”

—      sweet trances #42, V.I.

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If a writer falls in love with you, you can never die

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 “If we connect the signals that you have been showing at me for the past few weeks like the stars in the sky, maybe we could create the most beautiful constellation?”

—      sweet trances #6, V.I.

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vaguelyinked

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vaguelyinkedSource:

“But I need to love myself first before I say those three words to the person that I will love. I know I can give him my all because I’m the kind of person who’ll do everything as long as I can. And right now I guess I’m still on the process of loving myself in every aspect. I need to embrace everything — positive and negative — that I have in my whole being. I think the love that I have for myself as of now is close enough to half of a hundred but it is still kind of quivering. The road on loving myself has to be stable and complete and it has to be put on steady ground so I can give a never-ending love to the person that I will share my life with someday. I want him to feel that he’s being entirely cherished and not a thing or any mayhem would change that stance.”

—      sweet trances #29, V.I.

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 “It’s not that I’m busy; I swear I want to talk to you. But there are times wherein I feel like I have to distance myself to you just for a short while because I feel like I’m annoying you already. We literally talk all day long and you don’t know how much I miss you when we missed talking for some hours.

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I feel like a flower dying from the heightening heat of the sun. I feel like a weed that needs to be pulled out on the lawn because I’m destroying a beautiful garden. I feel like I’m dying whenever you are not around even though I know you don’t even feel the same. I think I am destroying you more than myself; or at least that’s what I thought. Damn, can I even destroy you? Of course, not. Of course, why did I even think about that? I am nothing to you anyway but a good friend of yours while I think otherwise.

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Never forget to take care of yourself even if I’m away. I’ve always wanted the best for you. Even though I want to see myself together with you, I cannot. It feels wrong because you still love her. And I think I’m just a support system that you need right now. It’s okay, I won’t go. But I’ll just search for myself first — I’ll search for what I really feel and I should feel.

 

(I.. I..)

Nevermind.

”

—      sweet trances #22, V.I.

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 “I wonder why do you feel guilty whenever you feel like our conversation was not enough for the day. I wonder why do you feel like saying sorry because we haven’t talked like what we always do before lately. I wonder why do you keep on saying ‘I miss you’ even though we never missed a day without talking. I wonder why do you always want to hear my voice. I wonder why do you always want to make me laugh. I wonder why do you always want to hear my giggle. I wonder why do you always do the things that would make me smile. I wonder why do you still miss me even if we are talking on the phone. I wonder why do you feel guilty whenever you missed telling me one thing that you did and I have no idea about it.

I wonder what do these all mean to you? to me? to us?”

—      sweet trances #23, V.I.

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 “You’re still the person that I will always run back to no matter how many times you have pushed me away. That’s how much I love you.”

—      sweet trances #5, V.I.

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FIRST LOVE LETTER

Dear Love,

I don’t know how many notebooks I have to fill before I meet you. Or how many pages I have to tear when I thought I wrote wrong. Or how many grammatical errors I will make. Or how many words I have to scratch when I thought it’s not the right word to use. But I am sure that in the near future we will find each other. And I believe it’s going to be the best moment of our life.

I don’t know how we will meet. Or where and when. I don’t even know if what will happen to us is love at first sight or not (Do you even believe in love at first sight? I don’t even know that). Maybe we will accidentally meet inside a bookstore, scanning each of our to-read books. Maybe I will look up and find you standing there, reading my most favorite book in the world. And you will look up and find me staring at you. And our eyes will meet. And it will take us a long time standing like that because we don’t know what to do. Are you going to approach me? Or will I have the courage to approach you first? Or maybe something will just happen and we will end up smiling at each other. And it will be the start of something that I hope will last a lifetime. Or maybe we are going to meet somewhere unexpected. Somewhere we never thought we will find someone to love forever.

Maybe we have already known each other since forever. Maybe we just fail to notice each other. Maybe you are still busy chasing someone else, or living your single life to the fullest. Maybe you don’t consider me a candidate yet. And I don’t consider you as someone to love too. Maybe we are friends. Maybe we are enemies.

Or if we don’t know each other yet, maybe we already have a connection since long ago. Maybe we have a common friend that will introduce us to each other. Maybe there is someone or something that is already connecting us together. We just don’t know it yet.

The possibilities are infinite. And though I don’t like surprises, I will let God surprise me this one time. Just thinking about the different ways we can meet each other brings a delicious shiver of anticipation within me. I hope it will be soon.

Love,

The Woman Who Waits

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 “Sometimes you don’t know what you’ve seen in a person and suddenly you just want to say, “Damn, I love him.. so much.” even though you know their worst sides and dark sides. Sometimes, love supersede every negative thing on the person that you love and you just want to be there for him and grab his nape and kiss him deeply.”

—      sweet trances #45, V.I.

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I don't know how you do that, but you make my heart skip a beat every time you blurt out the words, "I love you" Like my all time favourite song has played for a thousand times and not a single complaint has been heard from me because I'd do anything just to play that song over and over and over again and I promise I won't ever get tired of hearing it.

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 “You will always be my kind of best even if you think you are the worst.”

—      sweet trances #4, V.I.

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 “I’m sorry, love, because I’m at loss for words that you need and have to hear from me. Maybe I’m not the right person that you need to talk to; maybe you just need me because I’ve been there with you against all odds; maybe I’m your shelter that you always run to in the midst of the rain in your life; maybe I make you happy whenever I am around. But do you really need me for a lifetime? How sure are you?

You see, you said I am the best and you won’t ever pick any other person than me but I guess in some aspects I’m not the one that you need. I’ve told you all the things that I think you needed to hear about life and everything that I’ve learned; words to cheer you up and make you smile but I guess my words and knowledge and experiences weren’t enough for you. I’m sorry.

I’ve always wanted the best for you, you know that. I always push you up, boost your self esteem, upgrade your personality every time you degrade yourself to me because I see the good in you, love.

Tell me everything: your bad things, your mood swings, your extremes — good and bad; anything and I will listen and I will still smile in front of you and touch your angelic face. Never feel down because I’m always here to put you up and remind you that you are worth it and I love you. ”

—      sweet trances #32, V.I.

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 “I burned my lungs today. Stick by stick, it’s you that I could only think of, babe. I always wonder how you are cause I know how fuck up you are right this moment and I don’t get anything from you. You make me worry like I keep on fidgeting on this stick that I am holding. I couldn’t contemplate the right words to tell you when in fact I don’t really have the ‘right words’. I had five sticks in twenty minutes but a friend stopped me from getting my sixth stick. I don’t know what’s going on with us. I felt dizzy when I stopped smoking for a couple of minutes that I just wanted to puke everything including my thoughts about you or maybe if I could only include your deadly thoughts in your system and take it away from you, I would, babe. You know it. I just… I feel fucked up right now. I’m craving for you but you’re nowhere to be found. If kissing you would take all the pain away, then I’d more than willing to do it.”

—      sweet trances #33, V.I.

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baefiveoneoh

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“Of course I’ll never forget what happened between us, we may have still been maturing at the time but I loved you so much. A part of me still loves you no matter how much interest you may have lost in me. How could I forget you after all this time, you were the one who made my life better, I may have lost everything else, but nothing will ever compare to you. Our love will always be a once in a lifetime and yes I still think about the little things because those are what mean the most…”

—      baefiveoneoh (No matter how far we distance a part of you will always be with me..)

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 “Have you ever had this beguiling conversation with the person that you like and your mind suddenly froze in what you’re going to reply and you’re like an idiot rereading their reply because it made you smile, like a genuine one, and you just don’t know what to reply but you want to reply immediately to keep the conversation going?”

—      sweet trances #16, V.I.

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 “and the thing is you looked so perfect standing there across the room

and i tried to tell you and everyone really through slurred words what you mean to me

and i couldn’t find the words or the head space through the blur of 6 shots and 2 beers

but damn did i let every heart aching thought of you pour out of my mouth”

—      slurred love notes by (me)

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vaguelyinked

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“I don’t have any assurance on until when will you stay in my life but I want you to stay with me always. I can’t say forever because I lost my belief on that word for quite a long time now that’s why I said always. I hope you will be with me from the day that I met you until my last breath. I may not be the kind of person that you are looking for but just knowing that you feel the same way that we can be on each other’s side all the time is enough — knowing that you cannot take the idea of not talking to me or leaving me is dreadful to you can be considered as an assurance that you don’t want to leave me as well. I hope we will always be like what we are now until years has passed by in our lives. I am still expecting you in my life in the long run. I hope you won’t leave. Not now; not ever because I love you.”

—      sweet trances #18, V.I.

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a love note for you

you are such a brilliant, shining little dreamer

and I know you have the strength to give the world some of your special brand of magic

you must remember how important you are

how valuable and unique and wonderful your ideas are

and how much more than ideas they can become

let your imagination run through valleys and forests and kingdoms and underwater and wherever else it wants to go

you can accomplish incredible things

you will make beauty happen

just like you folded your favorite sweater, made yourself breakfast, watered that plant you are trying really hard not to kill,

you can do good things

you matter

you’re vital

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 “I hope one day you will realise that I have been here all along. All along, love. I will never leave your side. Every word that I say is a pinky promise. It’s not just a promise. I’m human, alright. I break promises but I’m different from everyone else because I don’t break ‘pinky’ promises. So if I say I love you, hold on to it; if i say I will take care of you, I will make you feel it. I would do anything to make you feel better.”

—      sweet trances #9, V.I.

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One great thing about wearing your earphones is that it smells like your neck. I can bury myself with your scent forever and believe me when I say it’s hell addicting.

 

Blue.

 

I didn’t think for the longest time that I’d be able to say with an unhinged smile that I fell in love.

 

It’s an unbridled phenomenon that left a bad taste in my mouth and has been avoided at all costs.

 

In a loud world with constant buzzing I had found solace in knowing that it was all about be and I didn’t need to worry about anything other than that.

 

Not once did I have a quiet mind, and not once did I ever feel the need to have one,

 

Then you, you happened. Silence. I couldn’t hear a thing and all I could focus on was you.

 

You looked at me, like I was a whole person. Not a broken shell with whatever was left. You smiled at me like I had enough left of me to make you smile.

 

From the very first time your hand grazed mine, I knew, as these things go, I knew.

 

The first time we were together we watched the sunset, at least I think we did. I was so focused on you that all I saw was the faint reflection of what I assume was a magnificent sunset in your eyes,

 

Your eyes. The brightest blue I’ve ever seen. For so long I was drawn to the darkest eyes I could find. Not until I saw yours did I understand the true beauty in the light of blue eyes.

 

Almost every day since I’ve lost myself piece by piece in the blue that is your eyes. I can’t breathe when you look at me.

 

My god when you look at me the world stops. Nothing exists except you. I have to pull my stare away just to remind myself where I am. Who I am.

 

Who am I?

 

The beginning of the year I don’t think I’d be able to honestly answer the question besides a sly remark of my name. As if my name could express to a stranger of who I was.

 

Who am I now? With absolute certainty I can say that I am me, and I am your girl.

 

Even typing that now I find goosebumps crawling up my skin, I don’t know what it was or what happened. But ever since I looked at you I’ve been on an unimaginable roller coaster ride that has me lost and not sure which way is up.

 

And through it all, gripping the restraints of this ride all I can see is you.

 

As dizzy as I may be, I don’t ever want it to stop. I’ve got you by my side, and I didn’t know it until know, but that’s all I’ll ever need.

 

breannpounds

vaguelyinked

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Let’s see. Probably if we’re together next week, I’ll set up my car or your car. I will drive you somewhere. I want to watch the sunset with you. I want us to watch the city lights during midnight. I want to lay down with you on the car and watch the stars shine above us. I will play with your hands. I will put a mask on your eyes. I will bring you to this one place. I will park the car and guide you to where you should firmly stand and wait for my go signal to remove the mask. And guess what you’ll see? A room full of helium balloons — each balloon has a letter inside and you gotta pop them all for you to be able to read my love notes for you. I want to fill up the room with lots of pastel-colored balloons but don’t worry,you’ll only pop half of it cos I still want to give the room some colors so everything will turn out nice. Then I will give you a box of customized doughnuts with the letters saying that “I love you” and “happy birthday, baby” with confetti scattered on the floor. Then I will give you the longest and tightest hug I would ever give to anyone since that kind of hug is reserved just for you. And oh, of course, I still have something to give you not just this surprise that I did — a watch. It’s not going to be something that you’re expecting but I hope you’ll appreciate it. I’ve invested on it only for a short while but I hope that you will appreciate it.

vaguelyinked

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What if I go to your place on your birthday and buy you a cake right after arriving and text you where you are and buy some stuff you like then I’ll go home by night? Just a day trip to your place? How’s that? I just wanna make you feel loved on your special day. I don’t know how else to make you feel loved and special. I don’t know if this small act would do (you know I can do that lol) and I hope I won’t scare you if I dare to really do what I’m planning in my mind right now.

sweetasstrawberrywine

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3 am crawling in bed and all I can do is wish you were here..wish that none of any of this happened to us..wishing you didn’t feel like this..wishing I didn’t feel like this…wishing that everything was back to normal when I was just always go with the flow. Me and you would go out and not worry for a second about what each other were doing. All we had to deal with was when I was allowed to see you. It’s amazing how one thing can lead to another. One bad thing can start a reaction that turns people’s lives upside down. One thing can make you hurt for the rest of your life. One thing that creates a wound and even when that wound heals that scar will be there for the rest of your life. Reminding you every time you see it what you did. It’s amazing what kids in middle school picking on you and never wanting to be your friend can do to you. Not knowing what kind of person you are or even caring to find out. Not knowing the hurt and desperation for help they can cause you. Making you feel worthless and like a waste of space and life. Their words stick with you for the rest of your life and you remember the exact feeling you experienced that exaxt moment. But even more amazing is when that person can climb out of that hole and stand on their feet and show the world that they won’t be beaten. The people that go through the most are always the strongest because of what they’ve gone through. You say I’m strong but it’s because of the battles I’ve fought. You say I don’t understand but I do. All too well. You’re not so different than me. Your tests are just coming later than mine did. I know you have what it takes to make it. Time waits for noone. It doesn’t matter how bad or good your day or week goes. It doesn’t matter how much hurt you’ve dealt with for years and years. It doesn’t matter what’s been taken from you or who doesn’t want to be in your life or was taken from your life. It doesn’t matter if trust was broken along with hearts. It doesn’t matter if your pride and dignity and morals are gone. It’s up to the person to stick to their roots and morals and to get back up on their own two feet again. No one else’s. It’s your life. No one can live it for you but YOU. You have to fight like you’ve never fought and when you get knocked down you get back up the next day swinging a little bit harder. I know you can do this. I’m here to help you every step of the way. I’m here to pick you back up again. The same way you were there for me when I was down. I can’t thank you enough for everything you’ve done for me. I can only hope ill be able to do the same for you. You’re my buddy and my best friend. I’d do anything for you. I love you with all of my heart and I always will. We’re gonna get through this if it kills me. You are worth everything. You are amazing because you are YOU. I wouldn’t change a thing about you. I have never hated you. I have always only loved you more and more every day. Take my hand baby. I’m in this fight with you till the end. We’re gonna make it

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“I have spent all my life wanting to be pretty, never realizing that beauty is a reflection of love - in this case, self-love. I love you wholly, unconditionally, easily; I think you’re beautiful. You show me how easy it is to do the same for myself.”

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 “Can we make things real? It’s hard to put myself in a position when there’s no ground to stand on in the first place. I want what we have now. I like what we have now. But why do I sometimes think that I don’t have this special place in your life? Like I’m just a regular person?

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Sometimes we’re friends; sometimes we’re more than that; sometimes we act like we are together; and sometimes you act like my significant other. Sometimes this. Sometimes that. When will I get over these things? When will you go over these things? When will we get over these?

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I’m not saying that I’m tired on what we have now. But don’t you think we can go overboard on what we always tend to show with each other? We always say things and tell things that we shouldn’t say because we’re not even real. We care for each other too much that one of us will get kind of crazed because we made each other worry but we’d fix things before we go to sleep. How will I believe on those if our ground is pretty shaky?

 

How am I sure that you are on the same page as I am?”

—      sweet trances #28, V.I.

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But when he calls me his, that just makes me all fuzzy. Maybe it's because he's showing that he's committed even though we aren't technically an item. I dunno. If he was a drug, there wouldn't be a sober vein in my body.

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Unpacking a Life

 

When I left the island I had 43 boxes and 3 guitars shipped here. Nearly all the boxes are in the garage. Now and again I think I want something or need something and we pull out the shipper’s list and try to find the according box.

 

The first few times it resulted in puddles of silent tears.

I’m getting better at it though…

 

A couple days ago, I thought I needed something again…. Instead I found a box that contained a bag of Nick’s toiletries I couldn’t bring myself to dispose of 5 years ago… His deodorant, his razor and shaving cream. Some hair elastics with his hair still entwined around them. A tiny note I’d left him while he was resting at the hospital.

 

But also this— something he must have kept. Why it was packed in these things I don’t know.

 

But there a note from a legal pad I’d

left him one October morning….

 

Oct 26.04

5am

 

Dearest,

I saw the moon set

I heard waves

and sounds of predawn

realities.

 

I’ve not been

able to calm my

psyche

so that sleep may nab it

 

But please

wake me—

don’t let slumber steal

any precious time

lucidity grants us.

 

Wake me,

as you did last summer—

unaware of your

“tanuki-” like needs

as they reach for me

 

as you pull me to a kiss

 

an embrace

in which

I taste forever and longings.

 

Good-morning.

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 “Love, listen to everything that I say and I will say because I always encrust my I love you’s with something that most people wouldn’t notice like “I want you take care of yourself”, “I don’t want to see you sad”, “If only I could be there for you right now, I would”; Love, these words. These words are my symbolism of I love you. Just deeply listen to what I say. I hope in the end, you will notice me and love me back like the way I do to you now.”

—      sweet trances #2, V.I.

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The rain is pouring hard. And all I ever wanted, is the warmth of your skin, against mine.

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Write me love notes with your nails on my back and I'll write them with my tongue between your legs.

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 “They always tell me that it’s time to open my heart now to people who are trying to get in to my life. I always give them a half smile or a smirk because I don’t really know what to say on that thing. But now, my perspective in life has changed and every time that they are going to tell me about my heart being unfastened, your name is all that I could think of. Maybe it’s weird because I’m seeing a possibility with you; maybe it would freak you out when you knew this.. or not. I hope not.”

—      sweet trances #27, V.I.

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I want you to hold me in your arms and tell me that you don’t wanna be any where else

,that I’m the one you want, the one you’ve always wanted.

Tell me that I’m perfect, not just me but perfect for you.

Tell me I’m your missing jigsaw piece, that without me your not yourself, you’re not whole.

Tell me those other girls, they were mistakes, that you want me and nothing else, no one else just me .

Tell me something to make me believe you again

Tell me anything.

-t.m-

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My sister has begged me to mark her in this and similar ways, so for the first time in my life, I find myself WANTING TO cum on a girl instead of inside her. Eventually, I’ll cover her in my jism everywhere!

 

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Lover's notes

 

I don’t talk about you very often

I give curt answers, when asked

Besides, I say little

It is not because I don’t want to;

I am bursting with thoughts of you,

But whenever I say your name,

Pride tugs at the corners of my lips

And every humble word seems criminal

And everything you are spills out

And I boast, and brag, and swell,

I become a glass overflowing with sweet summer wine.

So I don’t talk about you very often.

 

{A}

 

I speak your name

Far too often

Though no one here

Hears my Words

It is the sound that they recognize

I am in Love.

I too am humbled

but only by the Proud Cruel Days

Which Keep us Apart.

Your soft lips draw on my words

which then Explode in my Heart

Though I speak to no one

I speak your name

Far too often.

 

~F

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Heartstrings (Love Notes #2) - Heather Gunter

 

Todos piensan en mi como esa persona feliz y optimista. Lo que no saben es que tengo un oscuro y profundo secreto. Algo horrible me paso hace un año, y lo he guardado todo este tiempo. Estuve bien durante un tiempo, pero de alguna manera esta decidido que esta vez regresara, y me devorará -como un cáncer.

 

Necesito contarle a alguien esto, simplemente que no sé como. Estoy dando amor a todos, incluyendo a mi madre y mi mejor amiga Charlie.

 

Entonces ahí está Will. El guapo y dulce Will. Tuvimos una cita tiempo atrás, pero después llegó el incidente dejándome trastocada y confundiéndole.

 

¿Cómo le dices a alguien que te importa todos tus secretos, y aun te querrán cuando la verdad salga a la luz?

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You Give Me the Strength to Have Courage

I am so one hundred percent in love with you. You are smart and brave. You are funny and sweet and nerdy. You are dark and sexy and alluring. You know how to make me laugh even when I don’t want to. You make me feel good when I feel worthless. You make my heart race and my cheeks flush. You melt my stress to jello, along with my knees. When I think about how much I love you, I cry. Not out of sadness, but out of my concrete knowledge that you love me back just as much. But you could never love me more than I love you.

 I love all the things you do. The way you drive. The way you look at me with the utmost love and confidence when you do. With so much desire, sometimes. I love how your forearms flex and your wrists turn and hands grip the wheel. How they are strong and tan in the summer. How they touch my pale skin.

There is this face you make when you talk to me from your heart—when you speak to me with love and concern and sincerity, and you want me to really hear you. Your entire face softens with a certain craving to be heard that I could never place as one single emotion because there is such a bare, natural, intense feeling behind the skin of it. And your eyes change. They are deeper and they see me. Not just me on the outside or the inside. Me. All that I am. My quirks and thoughts and fears. The clothes I wear, my favorite food and candy and color and drink and weather. My skin, my goals, and the things that make me laugh and cry. The parts of me that no one else will ever find or understand no matter how hard they search. You see my soul. Your voice changes, too. It is soft and longing in an odd, wonderful way. It makes my heart open to you. It makes me listen and hang on every single word and if each one is the final drop of water in the world and if I don’t open myself up to it and catch it, there will be no second chance at survival. You are my life.

I love how you dress. Tuxedos, shorts, one of your many DC hero shirts, a plaid, three-quarter length button-up, or nothing at all. Everything looks so amazing on you.

I love reading next to you at the bookstore or under big blankets on the couch or in bed. It is refreshing and completely replenishes my heart. I love cuddling with you under those same blankets when it is raining or storming. You always keep me safe from the flashes and crashes of not just the weather, but of my ever-changing world. It feels absolutely perfect to hide under all those big blankets with you. To curl up and drink coffee and watch you play video games.

I love that you love me. I love that you do and would do anything for me. I love that you write with me and you don’t have a care in the world what anyone thinks about you. You are my inspiration. You are my hero.

I look back on my life no more than two years and two months ago today. I think about how absolutely different my life would be had you not taken that one step—that first step—back to me. It was God that caused you to do that. He made us for each other.  I know I would be unhappy if you never took that leap of faith. I would be lost. I wouldn’t have God, confidence, love, happiness, stability, or security in my life. You are my personal sun. The reason I keep going. My turning page.

I want to thank you for putting up with my daily tears. With my uncertainty and lack of self-confidence. You’re the only thing I have that is constant. That keeps me grounded. That makes me happy. Thank you for being you. I want to thank you for choosing me. You could be with any girl in the world, and you still choose to wake up next to me every single day. I don’t think I’ll ever understand why, but I’m glad you do.

Aristotle said, “Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.” I couldn’t agree more. We are the same. We are composed by the same hands, made of the same pieces, filled by the same soul. Loving with the same soul. Thinking about us being soul mates makes me think about past lives. Did we have them? Is there a part of us, deep in the minds of our souls, that remembers those lives? Were our souls together then, too? Did we find each other like we did now? Even before that life? I like to think so. Each life is a new chapter in our shared soul’s book, and we are so far into it. Our soul is so beautifully old. Mature, wise, fragile yet strong, and so wonderfully joined together by our entwined fingers.

I am truly me when I am with you. Not with anyone else. We have no secrets. Nothing to be ashamed of.

Your eyes are like the moon went swimming in the bluest of seas, hair like golden fields of wheat, and skin so stunningly flawless. I love the touch of your tan skin. The words that form in your head, mix with your breath, shape through your tongue, and pass through your lips in smooth, deep strings of glory. I love all of you.

There is no way for me to sum this up well. I can only end knowing that I could continue for pages and pages until no trees are left in the world and there isn’t a dust of lead or drop of ink in existence. Instead of trying to wrap this up in a neat conclusion, I’ll leave you with this;

“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” -Laozi

You give me the strength to have courage. You are my best friend, boyfriend, husband, soul mate, and the love of my life.

-Your best friend, girlfriend, wife, soul mate, and hopefully the love of your life.

==========================================================================

“You’re like the sky, unattainable but wonderful.”

Lover dearest,

Where has the year gone? What happened to our turbulent spring, the languid summer? Soon it will be winter, and I will get to watch you stand outside and watch the snow fall, catching flakes in your upturned palms. In moments like that, the whole world seems to stop revolving, everything sits patiently under a blanket of silence, and it feels like you, me, the snow, and the white clouds of our breath are the only things in existence. The air is so bitterly cold that it seers the inside of our nostrils, but we don’t go inside. The burning tells me that we’ve survived another year of suffering, of illness, of pain. Another year of happiness, of hope, of love. And soon the sweet stillness of winter will melt away, and the world will continue to spin once more, and we will be confronted with another Spring. I can’t wait to feel the rain with you.

Love,

E

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“At first, there seems to be no sensibility to Love.

It sways decisions.

It catapults the imagination.

It can break the strongest of hearts.

And it nearly always engulfs a soul.

After all that, one is left a breathless, throbbing lump of unquenchable desire until…

Love finally locks one in its gaze with earnest reciprocation.

Only then, for all the agony endured, does one stand again, in strength and hope.

And only then, embraced in its devotion, does one discover that the only thing that makes sense of an equally illogical Life, is to love and be loved.

Therefore, lies the sense in the maddening thing.

”

“…There is a girl who still writes for you and she does not know how not to.”

—      Sarah Kay, Postcards

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When I look at you I see this perfecty beautiful person...then there's me, this weird person with all these probems and I don't see how you chose me. But you did. So please darling, stay and I promise that I'll give you all that I could possibly give.

 

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My girl <3

 

"I dunno where the begin.

She is all I think about.My world revolves around her.Maybe that’s why.Maybe that’s why I get scared at times.What if i lose her? What would I do then? she is the apple of my eye.I still remember clearly how I felt about her back then..back when I saw her for the first time.This is her..this is the girl ..the only one actually that can help me love again.She was my only hope.My only hope for me to be happy again.Wished upon stars and too many 11:11’s.When she gave me a chance? Omg I swear to god I was the happiest girl alive.The girl of your dreams wants you too? I mean how is someone suppose to feel?She literally IS my dream come true.Since day 1 I never wanted anyone else.She was the one.Still is.She’s the reason why I keep on smiling like a total idiot.The way we dance without music,the way we do silly stuff,how we cuddle & watch movie together,when I hug her and she fits right into my arms,when I sleep on her shoulders or when she grabs my face to kiss me..those moments?Make me wish I could freeze time.Nothing in the world matters at that exact moment.Everything else just fades and we’re in our own little world.Everyone goes thru rough patches.I mean that’s part of the relationship deal when you sign the contract right? Don’t, just don’t ever give up on that someone you love! Ever! Make it work.Giving up..Is it worth it? Nope,not at all.Make your indifferences work.never let it fade..Don’t throw it away fix it before it’ll be too late.I’m sure as hell won’t.Time flew since day 1 ..its been already a year and a half together ..and right now? I’m the happiest.She gives color to my black n white world.Her eyes shine and I swear I never saw a beautiful smile like hers in all my life.She’s my best friend,my baby-girl and the reason I get to wake up happy each and every morning knowing that her face is the first thing I’m gonna see.I love her with all my heart.I will never give up on us baby & I know when there’s nothing left in my life..as long as i’ll have YOU I’ll have everything.

 

XXXIV

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I am in love with you.

Each and every day I find more things I love about you. I tell you all the time I love you, I’m just not sure you realize how much I love you. You Anon, are my stars. You light the way in the dead of night so I am never lost. I need you, not in the way that I’ve ever needed anyone else. I need you in an entire new way, I need you so I can fill my my lungs with the air you breathe. Better yet, I want to be the reason you breathe. I want to give you all the things you desire, I don’t ever want you to stop falling in love with me, and I will never stop being thankful for you.

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    Did you miss me?:

    I curl my arms around your neck.

    I hear your breath pass by my ear with its

    In.

    Out.

    In.

    Out.

    We stay there for a while

    Our bodies just content with the subtle movement of our stomachs and our chests

    Stretch.

    Deflate.

    Stretch.

    Deflate.

    That is until you want to see my face

    So you shuffle and I shift

    I gaze into your solid brown eyes

    that carry me to a ninth cloud.

    Your tongue darts out and slides over your lips.

    "Did you miss me?" your voice croaks.

    I giggle. What a silly notion?

    We have been lying here for hours on end

    after waking up together and lying next to one another

    for years.

    You shake your head with amusement in your eyes

    "You are the silly one," you whisper, "because

    You associate missing me with distance and time. I,

    in fact, missed the details on your face and the feeling

    that runs through me when I see the glaze of love I discover in your eyes.

    I missed the scars on your cheek that accented the memory of a fight too

    strong. I miss each the way you knit your brows when you focus

    on something you don't understand." Your smirk creeps upon your face

    and I gaped.

    my brows release themselves and I realize that I missed the softness in

    your eyes that turned my insides to mush. I missed the sight of the tint of

    pink that is your lips. I missed the way your bit your lip when you could not hold

    Something in. I missed the way they felt against my own despite their

    constant rendezvous.

    I dig my fingers into your hair and pull you towards me.

    Yes, I missed you.

 

#poetry#love notes

4 notes

 

“Thanks to you, all my neighbors know how I moan during sex on acid. I don’t even know how I moan during sex on acid.”

 

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A love note at 3 a.m.

 

I’ve fallen in love with your flaws and imperfections, but I have yet to fall in love with you. Your eyes shine like the stars in the night sky, your smile is definition of bliss. The way you laugh is the sound of happiness soaring though the wind. Why must this be this way though? Why must I fall for someone I barely know? Has my heart became lost only to be found in the body of a girl who I have yet to truly understand? Or is it that love is like destiny, or fate? I may ever know. But I do know this, I’ve fallen in love with your flaws and imperfections, but I have yet to fall in love with you. Those are the words spoken by my wandering heart, searching for the answer of why did I fall for you, and what is love.

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An Open Letter

I don’t know if you’re ever going to read this, but if, in fact, you somehow manage to find this letter, then know that it should not be brought up in day-to-day conversation with me, whereas you know how I am about talking about my feelings to your face. I get all awkward and shy and I can’t find the right words..so this letter is all the things I wish I had the nerve to say to you, face to face.

I don’t know what initially attracted me to you..maybe it was your face (your eyes, really) or your accent, or maybe just the way you held yourself. I knew when I met you that you would be the most interesting person I had ever met. What I didn’t know was how much I would come to love you.

It’s 6 months later and you’re 97% of my entire world. The other 3% goes to Cheetos, tumblr, and books. When we’re not talking on the phone, we’re texting, and if we’re not texting, we’re cuddling. Of course, there is the unfortunate inconvenience of school..But I get to hold your hand and walk with you to class, so I’m okay with that. But, next year you’ll be going off to college at SVCC and I’ll still just be a sophomore in stupid highschool. I’m more scared that you’ll find someone more attractive, or better suited for you.

We talked on the phone last night..you said that you would never break up with me just because you were angry..you said, “It’s a big decision for me, and I would want to talk to you before I made a decision.” I tried to interject, but you cut me off, “I’ve already lost you once, yanno, and I’m afraid if I lose you again, I won’t be able to get you back.” I wanted to tell you that you would always be able to get me back, no matter what, but I just let you finish, “You mean too much to me, for me to let you go again, yanno?” It put a smile on my face. You always manage to say the right thing to make me happy. I love that about you.

 

I’m sure I’ll come back to this letter, but that’s it for now..I love you. 29.5.14

 

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I want to be your rock.

Your shelter

The person you go to when you’re happy.

Sad.

Scared.

The one you joke with,

Confide in.

I want to keep your secrets

And love you unconditionally.

But most of all,

I want to be yours.

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I'm not the girl your mother warns you about. I won't kiss your best friend or break your heart. I won't make you choose between what you love to do and me. I'm not cold. I'm not reckless. I will love you more than anything. I will kiss you when you cry. I will stand by our side until you decide otherwise. And even then, I will still love you.

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Dear Lover,

 

I used to write letters to you all the time. Explaining how I felt. Towards you, Towards myself, Towards life. But I’ve come to a lack of words. They used to come so freely — by no stretch of imagination. But now I fumble over my words and worry about helpless causes. As if worrying ever helped anything. As if it made me feel any better. You see, I feel so guilty when I think about you. The thought of your existence fills me with so much happiness. Yet so much sadness. I didn’t think that was possible. Your touch is my best dream. Lack of you is my worst nightmare. I’m quite certain I love you. Which I don’t often say. It’s so abused — so misused. Whatever you consider me… what a wonderful thought. As long as you consider me. You. You.. thinking of me. Do you often think of me? I used to think I would feel foolish to admit how much I thought of you — but I care little now.

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Dearest lover, friend —

 

E.B.

 

Sunshine that fills my heart

 

You make me feel whole. Baby, you make me a lot of things than the others in my past who have. I love the way you keep me safe, loved and confident. You never push me to do anything I don’t want except to experience life. Everyday is a blessing. I wake up I think of you, before I sleep you’re on my mind. I wouldn’t mind waking up to your beautiful face across mines every morning. One day that will come hopefully. You’re the best man that has ever entered my life and I felt like I knew you for a long time. Every love song is a song you’re in. To be honest for once in my life, at this moment.. I’ve never felt this strong emotion towards someone who I’ve truly felt for. I hope you’re my last. You’re my missing half, my lover, my sun. Baby, here’s to many more splendid months and years to come. I promise we can make it through. - Lastly, one day when I’m comfortable enough to tell you how I feel, I’ll make you read this. Just waiting for that special time :-).

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The only place I would spill my cheesiness. Sorry, not sorry.

 

My "note" to Bubbe

 

You’re my lover, my homie my best friend, my side kick, my right hand man, my cuddle buddy, and do much more. You mean so much to me. I love you more than most people. Our relationship means more than anything. I know you think I don’t listen to you but I do. When it comes to tattoos I just feel that I should get the ones that I planned to get before we met which is like 3 more. The rest of my back, my thigh piece and my side. I know you think I’m going to cover all of me but I’m not. I like my skin, I know you like my skin. I like you biting, scratching and licking. And goodness I love when you fuck me. I love when you take control and make me given in. I love when you fuck me till I pass out. I even like when you tell me to shut up (but only in bed). Hmm I love fucking you God I love the sounds you make, the look on your face, the feel of you cumming on On my hand. I’m lucky and happy that you let me have “you”…all of you. I love every part of your hairy body, lol. I love how smart you are. I love that you try to take care I of me, I think I like that feeling. I’m in this for forever. I am going to marry you, I’m going to make you happy….I was going to put this on tumblr but it got kinda sexual. Now I’ve decided to put it on here. Ps I love you

 
 
 

    I know it doesn’t look like much, but I promise you it’s much more muchier on the inside. At least, I hope it is. I wanted it to be. If not I’ve failed as a gift-giver and I’ll have to live the rest of my life in shame.

 

    Right, so, I know you’ve lost a lot this last year. And not even just this year, but I know you’ve lost a lot, period. I don’t think that’s fair, and it’s probably not fair that I’m bringing it up on your birthday, either, but I’m going somewhere with this, trust me. Anyway, I’ve been trying to figure out for a bit not how to work a Pensieve, and I think I’ve gotten it down. That’s what’s in the necklace. My memories. I mean, not just any old silly memories because what sort of a gift would that be to you if it were something like, I don’t know, my fifth birthday party of something. It’s more like the memory of the first time I realized you were going to be my best mate forever, or the first time I came to your house and you introduced me to your mum, or that time when I went to that Gobstones match for you thinking it was going to be this grand extravagant sport and found it out was just explosive marbles and realized you were a complete nerd but I cheered for you anyway, and— well, I won’t tell you the rest because that’ll spoil the surprise.

 

    And I know it might be a little silly, because you’ve already got these memories of your own about the moments I’m giving you again, but it’s not the same. We all see things differently, even the same things, and I certainly see you differently than you see yourself. At least, I think I do. You can tell me whether or not I’m wrong about that after you’ve watched them. So, I thought maybe it’d be nice to have them again. Except, maybe have them in a new way.

    Happy birthday, Marlene. And thanks for giving me memories that’re good enough I had a hard time narrowing down which ones to pull back out.

    xx Mary

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 “I’m sorry if I’m not the one that you need. I’m sorry if I can’t shed away your tears. I’m sorry if I cant hug you real tight whenever you need one. I’m sorry if I always worry about you. I’m sorry if I can’t take away your pain. But fuck, trust me, I’m doing everything to make you feel loved and to make you feel happy but if that’s not enough for you then I’m sorry, love, this is all I’ve got and I’ve laid out all my best cards just for you. I just really wish that these are enough for you.”

—      

21:39, 10/18/14, vega.

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Back from Basic

"You're back. You're really, truly back. No, no don't move. I just need to hug you for awhile, just a little longer. I have to feel that you're really here.

God, I missed you so, so much. Our bed is so large, so cold with just me in it. If I sit in the middle I feel like I couldn't reach the edges. Oh, how I missed how small that bed could be.

Feeling your warmth there, your back so hot and hard and soft at the same time. Fighting for the covers, pulling them back and forth between us. Our legs entwining and falling asleep and tingling together every night.

And I missed the way you'd hold me as we'd fall asleep. Hug me tighter, let me feel you again. [sigh/laugh] You're so tall, I always feel like a little girl again. I feel so safe in your arms.

[breath in deeply] It's you! Oh, it is you, you haven't changed. Your hair is short and your arms are thicker, but I know that smell. I had to suffer as it faded from our bed, a little more each time I washed the sheets. You have no idea how much I cried when only flowers and bleech remained. I had to wash them again they were so wet.

And now you're back, and I'm never letting you go again!

I love you. Oh God, how I love you."

===========================================================================

“I want to be with you. I mean…really be with you. My heart skips a beat just by thinking of you calling me yours. I wanna wake up with the smell of your hair, the smell of your skin in my sheets. I want to kiss the corner of your lips while you sleep calmly. I love the feelings that you give me, my heart races, my skin shivers, my flesh aches. Can you please notice what you’re doing to me?”

— A.N

===========================================================================

“Don’t you get it? You’re the one that I want and I’m choosing you out of all the people that I know. I am choosing you. I want to be with you. I want to spend my lazy nights with you. I want to travel with you. I want to see the world with you. I want to help you in every possible way that I can even just by making you laugh. I want to make you feel loved. I want you to feel that you’re worthy. I want to save you.. or perhaps, i want to love you and know you more because that’s all I could think of just to save you from all your apprehensions. You’re the one that I like and I am choosing you.”

— i am settling on you, V.I.

===========================================================================

“I say nice things to you because I see the good in you. And why would I let you stay on the ground when I know, somehow, I can pull you up? I don’t know why I talk to you all the time but you’re on my routine already and I don’t know when did this routine had started. I’m not getting tired of you because I know there are reasons behind who you are and why you act that way and my initial reaction as 'myself' is to be there for you though I may not be there physically so I try to be there even in the simplest ways that I can to show you that I care. I don’t get angry cos I don’t know how and you know that I always try to understand things for you.”

— sweet trances #41, V.I.

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<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<| FSA SWEET TALK |>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

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 Updated:6/5/2018

 

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<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<|THINK OF IT AS 'FEEL'S GOOD, MAN SFW |>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

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LINKS

SFW - Sweet Summer Memory, by Nemo

http://pastebin.com/pVdnn3Jq

SFW - Sweet Summer Morning, by Nemo

http://pastebin.com/2FcNPY0u

SFW - I Want You, by Nemo

http://pastebin.com/BYHB7NmC

SFW - Let's Try Together, by GhostAmi

http://pastebin.com/KhXaBysF

SFW - Glad We Could Be Friends!, by GhostAmi

http://pastebin.com/tBVSKv2e

http://pastebin.com/WJ2qWYrq

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1920 Letter from Zelda Sayre to F. Scott Fitzgerald <GASP!> Edited for 4chan

Sweetheart,

Please, please don’t be so depressed—We’ll be married soon, and then these lonesome nights will be over forever—and until we are, I am loving, loving every tiny minute of the day and night—

Maybe you won’t understand this, but sometimes when I miss you most, it’s hardest to write—and you always know when I make myself—Just the ache of it all—and I can’t tell you.

If we were together, you’d feel how strong it is—you’re so sweet when you’re melancholy. I love your sad tenderness—when I’ve hurt you—That’s one of the reasons I could never be sorry for our quarrels—and they bothered you so— Those dear, dear little fusses, when I always tried so hard to make you kiss and forget—

Darling—there’s nothing in all the world I want but you—and your precious love—All the materials things are nothing.

I’d just hate to live a sordid, colorless existence-because you’d soon love me less—and less—and I’d do anything—anything—to keep your heart for my own—I don’t want to live—I want to love first, and live incidentally…

Don’t—don’t ever think of the things you can’t give me—You’ve trusted me with the dearest heart of all—and it’s so damn much more than anybody else in all the world has ever had—

How can you think deliberately of life without me—If you should die—O Darling—darling—It’d be like going blind…I’d have no purpose in life—just a pretty—decoration.

Don’t you think I was made for you? I feel like you had me ordered—and I was delivered to you—to be worn—I want you to wear me, like a watch—charm or a button hole bouquet—to the world.

And then, when we’re alone, I want to help—to know that you can’t do anything without me…

All my heart—

I love you.

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The One That Got Away Comes Back To Stay by VK

Hi. Yes, it’s me. I guess you never thought you’d see me again. <pause> What I’m doing here is telling you I’m sorry. So sorry for what I put you through. And, I’m proving what everyone has been telling me for the last five years: I need you. I’m not trying to be funny. I just couldn’t see it before. God, you look good. Better than I remembered. More solid somehow. I have missed you so. I just knew that I was always comfortable with you, I could tell you anything, everything and you’d always say the right thing about it. I missed that. And of course I want you. I’ve always wanted you. I missed you and I’m here. For you. For good, if you’ll have me. Will you take me back?

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Snuggily Bedtime by Anonymous

Hey come to bed. Come on, you can finish reading that later. We've been working and shopping all day and now I'm tired. I want you to snuggle me as we sleep. We can finish everything else tomorrow, don't worry. Mmhmm, we'll go to sleep right now and then take a nice hot shower together tomorrow morning before we get everything done. I promise. Now come here. *pause for a moment* Yeah that's good, now wrap your arms around me. Mmm you're so warm and you smell nice *deep inhale* H-hey!

*giggle* No tickling! ...silly guy. If you want to do some touching, how about you give me a kiss? *kiss* aww I love you too. Goodnight sweetie

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I'm Your Sweet Talker Now by Anonymous

    I love you so much sweetie. I feel like the luckiest girl in the world right now because you’re my boyfriend. I remember how you used to be so shy around me. You used to never be able to look me in the eyes. You were so smart and funny that I wanted you to ask me out when we became lab partners. I gave you so many signals and I waited but you were too scared until one day I finally did it myself and asked you out. After the first few awkward dates we became really close and you opened up to me. Other girls would have never given you a chance after the first date where you were so shy and quiet, but I knew that you just needed some time.

     

    I remember when you used to sit at home alone on Friday and Saturday nights and browse 4chan. You used to look in the vocaroo sweet talk threads and make requests and get anonymous girls on the internet to say sweet things to you. But you don’t need that anymore, you don’t need those vocaroo sweet talk threads anymore because you have me now. I say to you all the sweet things that you need to hear sweetie. I noticed that last week you deleted your vocaroo sweet talk folder because you don’t need it anymore. You’ll never need that folder again because I’ll always be here for you sweetie.

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Sweet Nothings at Bedtime by Anonymous

You are the last thing I think about before I fall asleep and the first thing I think about when I wake up. And during that time you are all that I dream of. I don't always wake up knowing it, well, physically remembering, but I know in my heart that it was you, because I wake up smiling. I miss the nights when we used to snuggle all night. And all those times I would wake up in the morning to you kissing my neck. I miss the nights when we used to fall asleep like some big mass of limbs, so tangled that we couldn't really tell whose was whose. It was wonderful. It was just so perfect. I miss the way I felt so much for you, when I knew that you felt so much for me. I miss how you never say "I love you" anymore, because I still do fully, and with all of my heart. It's probably too bad, because I'll get hurt again, but I love you.

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Affirmation by Rangerette

I love you. You are sweet, talented, handsome and understanding. I'm so lucky to have you. You hold my heart, you are my everything. I don't know what the future holds, but I'll always treasure the time I spent with you.

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Asked Out by IG (How it would probably sound)

If you've got a second, I want to talk to you before you run off again. Um, well, I don't know how to put this... I really really like you, and I don't really think you've noticed me and I'm probably really going out on a limb here, and I'm going to feel like an idiot later, but but I've... You are... I really like you. I have liked you for a while; longer than I'd like to admit, because you'd think it was creepy.

But, the whole point of all this rambling and sorry that I kind of ramble when I get nervous... The point of it is, I just wondered if you wanted to go out to do something this Saturday.Um, you know, with me. I was kind of hoping that you would ask me, but I don't know if I'm just not the kind of girl to catch your eye, or you know, what the deal is. I figured, what the hell. It's the 21st century, right. Be aggressive sometimes! Sometimes, we ladies have to make the first move. Maybe you're shy. I don't know. So, that's it. What do you say?

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Comfort Shortie by Siren

Good night sweetheart. Everything will be better in the morning

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Comfort Shortie by Sera

Aww, everything will be okay. There's no need to worry.

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Sweet talk Opus by Rangerette

NOTE: This is here because it is brilliant! However you might want to change/omit some of the lines to make it more personal for you.

I want to play hide-and-seek and give you my clothes, and tell you I like your shoes and sit on the steps while you take a bath, and massage your neck, and kiss your feet, and hold your hand, and go for a meal and not mind if you eat my food, and talk about the day, type up your letters, carry your boxes, and help to allay your paranoia. And give you music you don't listen to, and watch great films and terrible films, and complain about the radio, and take pictures of you when you are sleeping. And get up to fetch you bagels and coffee and Danish. And go out for coffee, and let you steal my cigarettes but never find a match, and tell you about the TV program I saw the night before, and take you to the hospital and not laugh at your jokes, and want you in the morning, but let you sleep for a while, and kiss your back and stroke your skin and tell you how much I love your hair, your eyes your lips, your chest, your ass, and sit on the steps smoking until your neighbor comes home, and sit on the steps smoking until you come home, and bore you when you're late and be amazed when you're early, and give you some flowers, and go to your party and dance till I'm black, and be sorry when I'm wrong and happy when you forgive me, and look at your photos and wish I'd known you forever, and hear your voice in my ear and feel your skin on my skin, and get scared when you're angry, and your eye has gone red, and the other eye blue, and your hair to the left, and your face Oriental. And tell you that you're gorgeous, hug you when you're anxious,andhold you when you hurt, and want you when I smell you, and offend you when I touch you and whimper when I'm next to you and whimper when I'm not and dribble on your chest, and smother you at night, and get cold when you take the blanket, and hot when you don't, and melt when you smile, and dissolve when you laugh, not understand why you think I'm rejecting you, because I'm not rejecting you. And wonder how you could ever think I would reject you. And wonder who you are but accept you anyway, and tell you about the tree angel enchanted forest boy, who flew across the ocean because he loved you, and write poems for you, and wonder why you don't believe me, and have a feeling so deep I can't find words for it, and wanted to get you a kitten but knew I'd be jealous of it because it would get more attention than me. And keep you in bed, when you have to go, and cry like a baby when you finally do, and get rid of the roaches, and buy you presents you don't want, and take them away again, and ask you to marry me and you say no again and I keep on asking because though you think I don't mean it,  I always do: I had fun the first time. I ask you and wander the city thinking it's empty without you, and want what you want and think I'm losing myself, but know I'm safe with you and tell you the worst in me, and try to give you the best of me, because you don't deserve any less, and answer your questions when I'd rather not, and tell you the truth when I really don't want to, and try to be honest because I know you prefer it, and think that it's all over but hang in for just 10 minutes more, before you throw me out of your life, and forget who I am. And try to get close to you because it's beautiful learning to know you, and it's well worth the effort. Speak German to you badly and Hebrew to you worse and make love with you at three in the morning, and somehow, somehow communicate some of the overwhelming, undying, overpowering, unconditional, heart-enriching, mind-expanding ongoing, never-ending love I have for you.

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Advice to Keep on Going by Tess

Everything's going to be all right! Just keep your head up and keep on going with whatever your problem is and you will make it through, I promise!

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Sweet Boyfriend Affirmation by Anonymous

You're such a sweet beautiful boyfriend. I love you so much and I can't imagine us ever being apart again. I'll take care of you for ever. I'll be everything you need. You know, when I go to the mall I don't even look at other guys. I don't notice them. I'm always thinking of you and how I can make you happy. I'm the luckiest girl in the world, and I still can't believe that you fell in love with little old me, especially with all the supermodels in total hotties you could be getting. But now, your all mine and I will never leave you. I used to worry about you leaving me. You reassured me so much when you took my virginity last night and that was a more beautiful experience than I ever expected to have.

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Dealing with Bad Times by Tiara

I know that you are having a hard time, you've had a hard day, it couldn't have been easy but please just relax Shhh. There's nothing you can do right now to fix the problems you have so the only thing afterward about this listening to my words. Be calm. I'm always thinking about you. The way you look, and the way you smile and the way you make me and everyone else so happy. There is nothing more that I want to do than give that gift right back to you. You deserve everything. Not everyone knows this. That's not what matters. I notice and you notice there is strength within you. Fighting isn't necessary. You just have to know that I love you.

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Affirmation by Maine

I just want you to know that you are a fantastic person and mean the world to me. I love you so much.

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Custom Bedtime Sweet Nothings Edited by VK

Hey, come to bed. Come on, you can finish reading that later. We've been working and shopping all day and I'm tired and you shouldn't finish that crossword puzzle anyway so we can do it together in the morning. I want you to snuggle me as I sleep, and we can finish everything tomorrow. Don't worry. We'll go to sleep right now and take a nice hot shower together in the morning before we get everything done. I promise. Now, come here.Mmmmmmm... That's good. Now, wrap your arms around me. Mmmm, you're so warm! And you smell nice. [Gasp] Hey, no tickling! Silly guy! If you want to do some touching, why don't you give me a kiss? Oh, I love you too. Good night, sweetie.

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Going for a Romantic Walk by Maine

Honey, I want to take a walk with you hand in hand across the sunflower fields in the back of our house. I put on the dress you like the most: the one with the floral pattern. You remember? I'm also wearing the sandals you got me in Italy. They still fit. Let the sun and the color embrace us. And let's find the tree; the one we first kissed under. And where we had our first fight when I wouldn't let you carve our initials into it.

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Love Sweet talk by Maine

I love you so much that my heart swells up, my throat feels tight, and my stomach feels like it's sinking. Your all that I ever wanted. I need you.

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Advice for Hard Times by Pumpkin

Hey, it'll all be okay. Anything that is going wrong will make itself right, or you'll find a way to make it right. It will all turn out in the end. You don't have to worry because someone is always there to help. There is always someone you can turn to, and there is always a way to fix a problem. You'll be all right, I know you will.

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Advice for Hard Times

Listen, I know things can get hard sometimes, but you have to keep on going. You're strong and I believe in you. You can do this, I know it.

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Sweet Romantic Talk by Turtle

I just wanted to let you know that I really, really like you...and I'd really like to be with you....if you'd let me.

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Very Sweet Affirmation by Anonymous

If I could give you one thing in life I would give you the ability to see yourself through my eyes. Only then would you realize how special you are.

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Death and Loss By VK

I've been there. I know what it's like to lose someone and the most important thing for you to know is that you will get through it. You will laugh again, food will taste good once more and it won't hurt so much to remember. It will take time, sure. You've got some stages to get through (Google:Elizabeth Kubler-Ross) but it will take much more time if you isolate yourself. There others around who have suffered as you are suffering. Find them. Talk with them. Help them and they will help you.

 

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To Be Your Maiden Fair

Oh heavenly blessed man whose inner beauty is simply divine and everlasting, I would love to be your maiden fair. If you want to talk to a good friend, honest, sweet and tender, you can do so with me at any moment. I am a good person, kind, loyal and sincere. My friendship that I offer to you is clean and transparent. I congratulate you, because you are very handsome. I admire your spectacular  body. Your skin, your charming form, your confident and pleasant smile, your personality, your happiness, your charm, your kindness, your beautiful eyes, your strong arms and legs.  You have all these qualities and more. You are a wonderful and perfect man, your gaze is tender and sweet, and it penetrates my soul.

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This Picture In My Mind by Anonymous

I so want you to be in love with me.

I have this picture in my head of you sometimes. In my head, you’re sitting around your flat and you’re thinking of me. I just float into your mind like clouds on a sunny day and then you can’t get rid of the thought of me.

I imagine that you might consider being with me. Maybe, you’ve woken up just once, stretched out your arm across the bed and hoped that I might be there, so you can hold me so tightly as we both fall back to sleep.

Maybe the thought of me has stopped you in your tracks. Perhaps the thought of me makes you forget what you were saying. I like to think that you look forward to seeing me.

But, most of all, I hope that the thought of me has caused you as much pain - even if it was just for a single moment - as the thought of you causes me every single day. I hope that the deep burning in my stomach is something you feel as well, every time I walk away from you and every time I smile at you for just a moment too long.

I hope you find me interesting. I hope you like my smile and the way my eyes look when I’m drowsy. I hope that you think back to all of the close moments we’ve shared with the same happiness and optimism for the future. And I hope that you have, even once, imagined a future with me by your side.

It probably hasn’t happened, but I like to think that I mean more to you than I’ll let myself believe…

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One Of A Kind

You don’t know how much you mean to me. You may think that you’re just another person but heck no. You’re one of a kind, my light, and love. So wherever you are right now, always remember that I’m always here wholeheartedly loving you.

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I Want to Kiss You by Anon

I want to kiss you...

There are so many things I’d love to do, but most of all, I just want to kiss you. I want to know what it’s like, ya know? Because when I imagine it in my head it always just feels so right. Maybe it should feel wrong, because of all of the reasons we can’t be together, but it doesn’t. You're so sweet, and, honestly, I feel so comfortable around you, like we just get along well. We’re a lot alike, and you always makes me feel so much safer and stuff. I just want that kiss. Just to see who we are together, what we could be to each other.

It’s such a simple thing...but that’s what I want to do. If that’s all I could ever do I’d still be the happiest person on the planet. At least that’s how I feel right now. I can’t stop thinking about you and kissing you lately. Well, kissing and other things ;p) but mostly the kissing part.

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I Wish You Knew by Anon

You are the first thing I think of in the morning, the last thing I’m thinking of before I fall asleep, and you have no idea.  If you could actually read my eyes, you would see the story I’m trying to mentally convey to you. But then I freak out that you think I’m staring at you and quickly turn away. I mean, it’s so awkward 'cause I spend the whole time in class trying to watch you without you noticing. And then you catch me looking at you (at least I think your eyes are looking at me) and I turn bright red and just stare at my hands.  And still I wonder, do you think about me? Do you think about how much I trust you and tell you things? Do other people do that? Can't you see me? I wish you knew how special you are to me.

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The Sun Is Rising Already by Anonymous

 

Can't you see? <Laugh> The sun is coming up! <Laugh> Looks like we've been up all night, huh? Fuckyeah, it was worth it! You are really the best guy in the world, you know? No, really. Really! No other guy I have ever known was able to make me as happy as you do. You're really one-of-a-kind. You're special. <pause> I'm glad you think I am too. <pause> You know I want to do well by you, right? Yeah, Mm Hmm?  Y'know, at the beginning, I really wasn't sure this would work between us...but I've been able to see all after all these months, that it's not just that I like how you look, not just that I think you're hot.<laugh> You're such a lovely person, too. I get the feeling that you really care about me, but also, that you actually respect me. You're not like all the other guys. Is that true? Can I even hope that it's true? <Laugh> Oh, you are so honest! 'You try,' huh? Well, trying is good enough for me. <pause> Oh, okay. We can talk about serious things later. I just wanna cuddle you, put my arms around you, rest my head against your chest, close my eyes and just lose myself in being next to you. Can I do that? Good! C'mere. Mmmmmm. I could fall asleep here. You're so comfy. Mm Hmm, I really really love you. Please never leave me. <pause> I never want to leave you either. <yawn> I think I really am going to fall asleep. Is that okay? Thank you. <softly> I love you <soft kissing>

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Hey Anon by Anon

Hey, Anon. I can't wait to see you tonight, to look into your beautiful eyes, to run my hands through your hair, and to kiss your soft lips. My heart beats faster any time I think of you, and at the moment that's all that I can seem to do. Not much longer, my love. I can't wait. See you soon, bye.

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You're Not a Fuckup by Tess

You are not a Fuckup. You have just as much right as anybody else to live in happiness. It isn't fair. It's up to you to do what you can to make things as good as you can. It's not easy. It never is, and life is just not fair. Some people are just in shit situations. That doesn't mean that you will never have it. This hits me so close to home. I have a lot of friends who have these sorts of problems. They are awesome people! Really great people! I wish I could do more for them. You've got awesome people too. There are people who care about you. Don't think you're alone and please don't think too badly about yourself. Please. This too, will pass.

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SMALL QUOTES

 

A Little Affirmation

Hey Anon,

You are the most beautiful person I've ever seen. But what's more is I can tell your mind and personality and everything that makes you Anon is even more radiant and perfect than what is on the outside. This isn't an attempt to try to be with you, as I know you deserve so much better than anything I could ever be. It's nothing more than a little note to one of God's masterpieces to lift his spirits in case he is ever feeling down.

From, that girl

I tried writing you a song, but my guitar is missing a string and it's really hard to rhyme things with Anon and not have it sound corny. :D

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"In these troubled times, nothing is sacred and nothing is fair. But you will be OK... Because you are so loved and cherished. You have so much, you just have to realize it."

 

(preferably in a soft undertone like you are talking to one of your closest friends or family)

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Morning sex

 

Unlike the frantic performance sex that descends after a night on the town, morning sex is deliciously unpretentious, relaxing, and slow. With the dust of sleep still in your eyes, an arching back, and the contented and effortless giggle, you toy with your lover. Gathering him or her in, as your ankles and buttocks arrived together under the sheets. Producing a grin on your lover's face before the new light of day has even touched his or her eyes.

 

Afterward you join the sun of a Saturday morning with a tranquil, satisfied relish. A tray of toasted muffins appears along with a pot of coffee. If there's a more perfect way to start the day, I haven't discovered it yet.

– DK

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You have way too low self-esteem!

Look into my eyes:

I Iove you just the way you are.

Do you believe me yet?

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Apology to a prophet

 

We fit together badly. You are always singing, and my body, jagged as a shipwreck, was wary of rocks.

I wanted your tall places – – to breathe minarets,

bleed spires. Ascend. You told me to kneel and

though I did not understand, I kiss the dirt. Pretended

it was your mouth. Now there is blood in the vineyard

which brings us back

to my rope – raw neck, the prophetic sonnets

inked to the underside of your skin.

We are singing the same song, you say,

but they are busy counting silver on my tongue.

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"Hello again. It's nice to see you again. Are your parents well? (Pause) Oh, I'm sorry to hear that, love... <stroke through hair> Do not worry love, everything will be ok. I will make sure all is well. (Kiss on forehead sound) You look ravishing in the moonlight my love. Would you like to stand on the balcony over yonder and watch the moon rise above the ocean? I know it's your favorite thing.

The ocean air is quite refreshing... <take deep breath) but you smell like delicate roses  in warm Summer fields, and you know that's my favorite... I just want to stay in this moment... I always enjoy our time together."

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If you love someone, tell him or her. Forget about the rules or the fear of looking ridiculous. What is truly ridiculous is passing up on an opportunity to tell someone that your heart is invested in him or her.

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Of course I love you. But telling you, even now, would cause more harm than good. You'd hang on to hope and continue living in pain for months, and I'd remain frozen between "we can't be together" and acting like we are anyway, neither of us getting more than a shadow of what we really want.

But I really hope you don't leave my life. I can't stand that thought.

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You have no clue how much I cared. How much I'd do anything to see you smile. How much it took me just to say good night sometimes. How hard I forced myself to believe things would be different this time. They weren't. But you're the first person I ever loved. And I don't think I will ever forget you.

 

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I'm probably going to fall in love with you a little if:

you don't realize how good-looking you are.

You employed old-fashioned terms of endearment

you do not bat an eye when I spontaneously launch into a different voice or accent in the middle of a sentence

you smell like something incredible from my childhood

you have enormous dreams

you distract me from my "real" life

you know how to listen

your self-deprecating but it comes across as funny, not uncomfortable

we cannot stop laughing around each other

you fall in love with me a little

 

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I want a hug.

But not just a normal hug. No. I want one of those pick–me–up–off–my–feet– squeeze–me–tight–spin–me–around–hurts–my–tummy–but–still–makes–me–smile– leaves–me–breathless–gives–me-butterflies–makes–me–giggle–stupidly kind of hug.

 
 

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I can't promise to fix all of your problems, but I can promise you won't face them all alone.

 

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It's crazy, because I don't even know when you became so important to me. It's like watching a snowstorm. You see the flakes falling, but you don't realize how they're adding up. Then suddenly, your whole lawn is covered. All these little things added up, and you're my snowstorm, baby!

 

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Things that fall

 

pedals

teardrops

snowflakes

rain

stars

tides

eyelids

time

shadows

leaves

the Sun

and I,

for you

 

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Crossing My Mind by Anonymous

 

I know I may never get a chance to tell you this, but you have no idea how much you cross my mind. Just the thought of you gives me warm feelings and fluttering butterflies in my stomach. I look forward to talking to you every time every day, every night, every minute if I could. You brighten up my days when I seem to be down. You provide me such comfort with your presence. It's something I want to keep in my life. You are someone I want to keep in my life. Someone simply amazing. Be safe, and come back to me.

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No Pity by Anon

I never want your pity unless it comes in the form of you sneaking into my bed in the middle of the night. I don’t need any of your excuses, I’d prefer to feel the warmth of your body against mine while I have you at my leisure to do as I please. I don’t need you to tell me I’m not good enough for you, or how I’m just not your type, because I could be. You should find out. I could wrap you around my finger with every kiss, every lingering hand crawling over you, engulfing you into sensation, a world of fantasy where nothing but you and I exist and time isn’t an issue because it’s like a dream you don’t want to wake up from. And I’m not asking for your love, not even to be your anything, but maybe a little of your time to show you a good time, because I can look in your eyes and can tell when you’re telling me no, you’re really hanging on the edge of temptation ready to conform to a new addiction involving me.

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Scars

 

I want to know how many scars you have

and memorize the shape of your tongue.

I want to climb the curve of your lower back

and count your vertebrae

your ribs

your fingers

your goosebumps.

I want to chart the topography of your anatomy

and be fluent in your body language.

I want you, entire.

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3/7/13

we cry over

friends we will never have back

people we once loved

bridges that have been burnt.

But there's a reason the past in the past.

You only have so much room in your life,

save it

for people that deserve it.

Chances are, if someone's in the past,

they deserve to

stay there.

 

– A. M.

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You

 
 

I've spent hours contemplating

the words to say to you

but no combination

of 26 different letters

could ever accurately capture

even a sliver of what this feeling is

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Be Everything to You by Anon

I want to be that cute skinny hipster girl reading her obscure book in a little coffee shop and you just so happen to notice. I want you to be attracted to my childlike behavior but enjoy my mature conversations. I want us to fall in love one hot summer night and open up to each other that cold winter day. I want to travel with you and I want to grow old with you. I want my life to be an indie movie without the shitty and unoriginal ending. I just want to do everything with you and be everything to you.

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Write me something beautiful

without a single sheet of paper

or the use of a tedious pen.

 

I want the ink to spill from your tongue,

as your lips against mine

become the words,

and the fluidity of your hands

creates the punctuation.

 

Our breath will craft the diction,

as our kisses slowly

turn into paragraphs,

allowing the movement

of our bodies

to create the chapters

of this perfectly written novel

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FLAUBERT QUOTE

 

“I will cover you with love when next I see you, with caresses, with ecstasy. I want to gorge you with all the joys of the flesh, so that you faint and die. I want you to be amazed by me, and to confess to yourself that you had never even dreamed of such transports…. When you are old, I want you to recall those few hours, I want your dry bones to quiver with joy when you think of them”

— Gustave Flaubert, letter to his wife Louise Colet, 1846

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“I did not love you better but I also did not love you the way I loved anybody else. I loved you a shade darker than the night. I loved you secretly, you know, the way we used to stay up until 4 a.m. under the sheets because we were afraid our parents would find out. I loved you like someone was saving someone else from drowning, both gasping for air, both did not know how to swim, recklessly moving their feet against the water, then both sinking. I think I just did not love you enough, or maybe you didn’t love me enough to let me love you.”

—     Love Letter No. 6

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Love Letter (English)

As I write to you to know how much I love you, what you left in me, not just a lost dream, I write to let you know that my love is real and yours. I am writing to let you know of my crazy dreams, words spoken by you one day, I love you. But mine is a love that does not sleep, true love does not leave, do not forget, there is in you, there is me. You know ... It's hard to understand it was not the time or you were not for me, but comfort me the wonderful moments that time let me dream of you and I thank God for meeting you. For by means of this letter I want you to realize what I love you. The reason for having discovered my feelings for you, was that day and night thinking about you, I want you to know how much I miss you and how much I need. No distance ... No time. No because my love for you knows none of those things...

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Ghost by Anon

You’re just that weird guy that fades into the background. Some say you’re like a ghost. But ghosts are scary and you’re just cute and shy; plus ghost are dead. You’re not going to be the guy on the cover of a magazine making everyone drool. But you sure as hell make me stare with fascination. And although you doubt your abilities I think there is something magical about you. You’re a guy I’d like to know. Eat cake with, and when I’m tired I can use your butt as a suitable pillow. I sincerely like you.

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“I love you, okay? And it doesn’t matter whether you believe it or not because it will still be out there either way. I will repeat it every day until some of what I feel make its way to you. I will tend to your broken parts. I will wait. Love is patient. I will help you carry the weight on your back. I will stay. That’s all I can do— stay and love you and love you more and love you still. I love you. If you don’t have enough of it for yourself, have mine. Trust me, it is more than what could suffice both of us.”

—     Love Letter No. 5

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Dearest,

I feel certain that I am going mad again. I feel we can’t go through another of those terrible times. And I shan’t recover this time. I begin to hear voices, and I can’t concentrate. So I am doing what seems the best thing to do. You have given me the greatest possible happiness. You have been in every way all that anyone could be. I don’t think two people could have been happier till this terrible disease came. I can’t fight any longer. I know that I am spoiling your life, that without me you could work. And you will I know. You see I can’t even write this properly. I can’t read. What I want to say is I owe all the happiness of my life to you. You have been entirely patient with me and incredibly good. I want to say that — everybody knows it. If anybody could have saved me it would have been you. Everything has gone from me but the certainty of your goodness. I can’t go on spoiling your life any longer.

I don’t think two people could have been happier than we have been.

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“I watched you breathe air into a mannequin’s mouth and I envied something lifeless. Forgive me. Your passion ignites me, your humor makes a fool of my logic. You’re vulnerable in all the right places and I wish I could touch the part that hurts. You said ‘angina pectoris’ and I wished you said my name. Your hamstrings clenched and forgive me, I swear I wished I could be beneath you someday.”

—     Love Letter No. 4

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A note for him.

Thank you for loving me as much as you do. For being honest with me. For always making me happy. Because of you my life is at its peak. I will always have feelings for you. You may not tell me often but you show me all the time how much you care. You can always trust me to be there for you. You can trust me with anything. You can trust me. I’m sorry if I am not able to do much for you but I just want you to know how much I care about you.

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I Feel You Still by Anon

Do you remember when you told me about the times you thought you’d never get the chance?And how you told your cousin all the reasons why it’d never happen to you?Do you ever think back to those times?How does it feel to see that you were so wrong? You know I look at you like you’re some kind of magic beam of light.I look at you and think selfish things.Like no one could ever love you as much as I do.No one could take care of you the way I do.No one will open up to you and let you see everything the way that I do.But that’s all bullshit because you are so loveable.You are so gorgeous.You are not innocent but you have a purity about you that people try to sniff out and stomp on like the wild fire that it is.You have a heart the size of The Pacific,and it stands like an altar that I leave sunflowers on each day.Strong and blinding. I look at you and with every sad memory,joyful triumph,and fit of rage I beg that you stay.I won’t let myself hope because you are too good to be true,but young man I will beg on my knees,pray every day,and I will wait for you.I just want you to stay.Because the funny thing is,I smell you in my sheets,even though you’ve never been there.I feel you under my skin.

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Excerpts from your notes

-I hope i can see you today. i thought about you all night.

-I’ll support you with anything you want to do or any help that you need. You might not want it and that’s okay, but i’ll be there for you if you need me.

-You are the beat to my heart. I need you like music needs a melody. I’m not going anywhere baby. You light up my life and brighten my day. I want to be with you every moment of my life. I could never love anyone else as much as I love you. It just isn’t possible.

-This is your surprise. It’s a note haha. I miss you.

-I just wanted to tell you that when I’m with you, I’m not afraid of anything. I can be myself completely. I can pretty much say that all boundaries are gone.

The things that keep me smiling when you’re gone. =]

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“What should I tell you now? What else is left to say? If I open my brain and look for the remains of you, I’d only find the soft hum of your voice and the dark of your eyes. I am speechless. I told you I loved you three heartbreaks ago. I do not know. I can’t decide. But I haven’t changed my mind. It’s the only thing I am sure of: I haven’t changed my mind.”

—     Love Letter No. 3

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“When sometimes I stroll in silence, with you

Through great floral meadows of open country

I listen to your chatter, and give thanks to the gods

For the honest friendship, which made you my companion

But in the heavy fragrance of intoxicating night

I search on your lip for a madder caress

I tear secrets from your yielding flesh

Giving thanks to the fate which made you my mistress.”

- Vita Sackville-West to Violet Trefusis

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“We always have silent dates. The first time was when we met at the back of the library and we just sat beside each other, our eyes dancing to a tune the books made. We are two roads without intersections. The stairs were our witness, the Circulation section was our rendezvous. So today when we stood beside each other while waiting for our turns to have our bodies checked like an exam, our breaths had a conversation— I know you. I do know you.”

—     Love Letter No. 2

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“I love you because of you, of all of you…I fell in love with everything I know about you. There may be some more things that I haven’t found out about you yet but that’s one reason why I want to be with you… To get to know you, to find more things to love about you”

—     A Love Letter

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This Is For The Boy Who Worships Sadness (Love Letter No. 1)

You don’t know this but I am watching you from the sidelines. I always look at your faded photograph and I ache because in it, everything is dark and the only thing one could see is the right side of your face and the cigarette stick jutting from your pale lips. I have always wanted to touch your skin since I saw your pouting  mouth because it looked so soft to the touch. When you asked me about sadness, I told you there are songs to soothe your soul. There is poetry in every form and everything you see. There is someone who cares. When you didn’t answer back, I knew you were not convinced. Your story is something unknown to me. I do not know where your demons come from and where they rest. I have no idea where you go when you feel like your chest is splitting open or whether you shake from resisting the urge to see blood on your wrists. I am only a name among the many. There is only so much I could tell you. But here, I am reaching out, I am telling you that you are not alone. Trust me when I say that the night does not stretch forever. If you’d let me, I would paint the ocean in your head every single day to remind you that not everything that is deep is dark and terrifying. I will swim with you, let you float until you reach the shore. You are too wonderful to be so sad. And this is to say that I’ve only heard you spoke a few. What if I hear you croon? What if you weave a paragraph and make a novel out of your mind? Maybe you are broken and you don’t believe in anything anymore and you think of yourself as lost as your thoughts. But everything that is broken is beautiful. And if you’d let me, I will be your better mirror to make you see whatever you can’t

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Crush Confession

    Scene: Talking to a guy friend you’ve had a crush on for some time now, finally confessing. Just use the emotions you feel are present in the wording. Feel free to modify/adlib anything.

     
     

    Hey, so umm… I’ve kinda been, umm… you see there’s…  ahh, damnit. Ok *deep breath* ok, so here’s the deal, I am super, super nervous right now and I need you to just, not say anything, cause I have this thing I really need to get off my chest because I just, I can’t stand it anymore.  *quick, deep breath* So I have a bit of a crush on you, and by a bit I mean like, I really really like you, and I have for most of the time that I’ve known you. I really hope this doesn’t come as a surprise to you, but I know guys can be kinda oblivious  sometimes and its soooo annoying, I mean, learn to take a hint, gosh. Yeah but anyway I’ve been umm, admiring(?) you for so long. I’ve been waiting, and waiting, so patiently just thinking to myself “Oh maybe today he’ll finally make a move, or just do something to let me know” but you never did and it is so damn frustrating! You are on my mind constantly, I lie awake at night just dreaming that you’d sweep me off my feet and carry me off into the sunset or some bullshit like that, and then after I finally fall asleep I dream of… umm… less mentionable… things… but anyway.

     

    Its, its hard for me to explain… exactly how I feel. It’s like everything about you, all your little quirks and proclivities, they all make you seem just so, sweet and charming, and just being near you, and talking to you, getting to know you, makes me feel so giddy, and I swear sometimes I just wanna grab you, and cuddle you, and kiss you, but then I get really scared to think of how you would react. I mean if you just accepted my love everything would be great, but if you rejected me… I don’t think I could take it.

     

    So, I finally decided to that, if I couldn’t get you to act, then I would have to do it. I know this whole thing is totally out of the blue and its really awkward and I’m practically shaking right now I’m so nervous, but… umm… like me? Please?

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Regret

No one makes me feel as happy as you do. And considering my situation, I hope that means something. You make me feel like I finally matter to someone. Like I'm important. Wanted. Cared about. You know more about me, my life, my feelings than my closest friends and family. I care about you so fucking much. And I love you. Not just as a friend. As more.

I wish that every day I could wake up cuddling you, holding you. I would treasure every moment with you. And it breaks my heart that we'll probably never be together. I can't imagine my life without you in it. And I don't want a life without you in it somehow.

I feel so alone sometimes, and I know that you do too. I wish I could take that all away from you. I wish you'd let me.

You mean so much to me, and I'm too afraid to tell you, and too afraid to hear your response. But you are loved more than you know. You mean the fucking world to me, and I'll show you that if you give me a chance.

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 “It seems to me that almost all our sadnesses are moments of tension, which we feel as paralysis because we no longer hear our astonished emotions living. Because we are alone with the unfamiliar presence that has entered us; because everything we trust and are used to is for a moment taken away from us; because we stand in the midst of a transition where we cannot remain standing. That is why the sadness passes: the new presence inside us, the presence that has been added, has entered our heart, has gone into its innermost chamber and is no longer even there, is already in our bloodstream. And we don’t know what it was. We could easily be made to believe that nothing happened, and yet we have changed, as a house that a guest has entered changes. We can’t say who has come, perhaps we will never know, but many signs indicate that the future enters us in this way in order to be transformed in us, long before it happens. And that is why it is so important to be solitary and attentive when one is sad: because the seemingly uneventful and motionless moment when our future steps into us is so much closer to life than that other loud and accidental point of time when it happens to us as if from outside. The quieter we are, the more patient and open we are in our sadnesses, the more deeply and serenely the new presence can enter us, and the more we can make it our own, the more it becomes our fate; and later on, when it "happens" (that is, steps forth out of us to other people), we will feel related and close to it in our innermost being.”

—      Rainer Maria Rilke, from Letters To A Young Poet

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Missing You This Holiday Season-Sweet Talk by Sera

I miss you. This crazy holiday season seems to be just passsing in blur, carrying me along with it. I feel like we haven't talked in ages. I just want to curl up in your lap and feel your arms go around me, pulling me tight against your chest. I want to listen to your heartbeat and feel your chest rise and fall. I want to kiss you. To press my lips against yours, forever. I want to make you smile and laugh. Someday, I'm going to repay you for the way you make me feel...loved...beautiful...wanted...desired. You make me feel that way every day. I know I am in your thoughts, just as you are in mine. I love you and it makes getting through the day easier knowing that you are there, and that you love me too.

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  "Dear future lover,

I hope our love is the kind that I don't even have to think about. I hope I never have to convince myself to love certain part of you because I hope it all comes naturally. I hope our love is the kind that is quiet on the outside but loud on the inside. I want to love you like the space between lightning and thunder - electrified and alive but silent and knowing. And I want you to love me like the clouds love the rain. You're going to have to let me go on my own sometimes, but I will always come back and we will always be two parts of the same thing."

--Marianna Paige

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“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.”

― Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 9: The Kindly Ones  

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 "Maybe things don't happen for a reason. Maybe we're just grasping for ways to make sense of the chaos around us. Maybe we're giving meaning to things that have no meaning. Maybe we're clinging to hope so hard that we forget about reality. What if we're wrong and nothing is meant to be? We're just lost souls wandering endlessly, desperately, seeking comfort from the notion that things will work out in the end no matter what. What if we've tricked oursevles into believing that everything will be okay in the end just so we don't have to face the reality that maybe it won't?"

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Jacqueline Kennedy’s Letter:

And I remember when I met him it was so clear that he was the only one for me. We both knew it, right away and as the years went on, things got more difficult, we were faced with more challenges. I begged him to stay. To try to remember what we had in the beginning. He was charismatic, magnetic, electric & everybody knew it. When he walked in every women’s head turned, every one stood up to talk to him. He was like this hybrid, this mix of a man who couldn’t contain himself. I always got the sense that he became torn between being a good person & missing out on all of the opportunities that life could offer a man as magnificent as him. And in that way I understood him and I loved him. I loved him. I loved him. I loved him. And I still love him. I love him.

Jackie Kennedy on JFK

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“Despite what you may believe, you can disappoint people and still be good enough. You can make mistakes and still be capable and talented. You can let people down and still be worthwhile and deserving of love. Everyone has disappointed someone they care about. Everyone messes up, lets people down, and makes mistakes. Not because we’re inadequate or fundamentally inept, but because we’re imperfect and fundamentally human. Expecting anything different is setting yourself up for failure.”

—      Daniell Koepke

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 “Sleep with me. I couldn’t care less if we're wearing five layers of clothes, or nothing at all. You belong in my bed. You deserve to feel the comfort of what I call ‘paradise’.

Sleep with me. I’ll help you recreate the warmth that left your fingertips years ago. I want to hear you breathe easily, as the sound drowns out every single worry on my weary mind.

Sleep with me. I don’t mean to create such a sense urgency, but you deserve to feel safe, and I’ll do everything in my power to make that happen.”

—      Connotativewords | jl | Slumber

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 “Do not fall in love with people like me.

I will take you to

museums, and parks, and monuments,

and kiss you in every beautiful

place, so that you can

never go back to them

without tasting me

like blood in your mouth.

I will destroy you in the most

beautiful way possible.

And when I leave

you will finally understand,

why storms are named after people.”

—      Paraphrased and mixed from Katrina, M.K., and Unknown  

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 “Some periods of our growth are so confusing that we don’t even recognize that growth is happening. We may feel hostile or angry or weepy and hysterical, or we may feel depressed. It would never occur to us, unless we stumbled on a book or a person who explained to us, that we were in fact in the process of change, of actually becoming larger, spiritually, than we were before. Whenever we grow, we tend to feel it, as a young seed must feel the weight and inertia of the earth as it seeks to break out of its shell on its way to becoming a plant. Often the feeling is anything but pleasant. But what is most unpleasant is the not knowing what is happening. Those long periods when something inside ourselves seems to be waiting, holding its breath, unsure about what the next step should be, eventually become the periods we wait for, for it is in those periods that we realize that we are being prepared for the next phase of our life and that, in all probability, a new level of the personality is about to be revealed.”

—   Alice Walker (Living By The Word)

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 “Now, I’m not going to deny that I was aware of your beauty. But the point is, this has nothing to do with your beauty. As I got to know you, I began to realise that beauty was the least of your qualities. I became fascinated by your goodness. I was drawn in by it. I didn’t understand what was happening to me. And it was only when I began to feel actual, physical pain every time you left the room that it finally dawned on me: I was in love, for the first time in my life. I knew it was hopeless, but that didn’t matter to me. And it’s not that I want to have you. All I want is to deserve you. Tell me what to do. Show me how to behave. I’ll do anything you say”

—      Choderlos de Laclos, from Dangerous Liaisons

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 “You want me to talk about something real. I’ll give you something real: I wake up and have my morning coffee and fill my head with you and realize my head’s been always filled with you, and panic and get scared and sit down and listen to sad music and willfully overwhelm myself with bullshit and self-imposed confusion and then you call me and you’ve just woken up as well and you sound familiarly lovely in your very own dailiness and I get carried away and we go ahead designing our day together and planning to do ordinary or extraordinary stuff and I’m still in bed and I’m still drinking coffee and you’re still on my mind right before or right after I attempt deciding upon anything and my sense of self is shrinking away and I’m fucking scared but ceaselessly trust in how you make me feel and If I appear distant to you it is occasionally because vulnerability is not my thing and dependency either but even these terms are fine when it comes to how I perceive us and that’s terrifying. And real. And I wouldn’t want it ever to cease being exactly what it is.”

—      All These Things You Wish You’d Say

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 “I perhaps want to subconsciously alter you in my head and internalize you in my heart. Perhaps. No. It keeps happening; nothing feels intensely mine unless it involves you in some way. It’s always you in some sense. Then comes self-manipulation. Then comes everything essentially irrelevant and painfully relevant all at the same time. Then comes the world. Then come thoughts which are not thoughts; rather bits of some recklessly apathetic over-thinking which leads nowhere. I can distort memory. I hold the finest capability in doing that. What I cannot distort or willfully falsify or entirely wipe out is the fact that all of it is my choice. My own paradoxical, masochistically perpetual, all-consuming, beautiful choice.”

—      All These Things You Wish You’d Say

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commovente

what i find wonderful and nuts-and-a-half is that we’re all just human beings trying to scrape by in the best ways we can. let’s not forget that about each other. we’re all just very simply human and we’re trying our best. none of us are better than the others. many of us are privileged in a lot of ways, and many of us are disadvantaged in a lot of ways, but those are true things but it only means that we have to acknowledge our own and acknowledge others and understand that we all come from different places yet we’ve all found each other here now in our lives. i will never know what your city was like. i will never know what it was like to have your mother or father. there will never be a way that anyone can understand you as much as you can try to understand your own patterns of behavior. but that’s beautiful, it is. find the things that move you and stick with them, whether they be wind chimes or cantaloupes. it’s beautiful that we are all so different yet so very similar and so very human. there’s no point in thinking yourself better or worse than another being. your problems are as real as mine. my problems are as real as yours. we all have difficulties and loves and desires and hopes that are entirely our own — why compare our own successes and failures with other humans? (see: first sentence). let love in. let love out. breathe. it’s all going to be fine. i love you all very much.

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You Will Not Send Me Away

"No. You will not send me away. I won't let you. I love you too much. This is your Achilles heel. You are afraid of this unknown future we face at the end of college. You can't see the way forward and it bugs you. Makes you panic and run away.  And it's what is making you push me away so I can't--what? Can't see you fail? Can't SEE you run away? Yes, I sure do know you! This is the worst part about you--and there aren't a lot of those--which is why I love you.You're not a drinker, you don't hate, you're open to my kinks and stuff, and...and....I'm not going to let this happen. I am going to pull you to me, follow you around, stalk you--whatever.  We will figure this out together and when you find your spirit lagging, I will supply it. There are worse things in people that you don't have and the things that you do are what I care about.  The best thing you've got going for you, besides me, is a brilliant mind, a creative mind and we will figure out what the best thing to do with it is.    So <choking up> you do not get to send me away, got it?"  

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“I am not always thinking sweetly of you. I am thinking angrily or indignantly or sulkily, quite often, but I am never not thinking of you. More often than not I am just worried about you, concerned and distressed about my baby lamb being tired or unhappy–and of course often it is with mad, mad passion and sometimes it is naughty, sometimes, only sometimes is it dirty or even sadistic. You are all over me, in sorrow or in joy, all of the time – Oh yes in drunkenness too, in conversation, in work, with every breath and heart-beat.”

— Laurence Olivier, from a letter to Vivien Leigh

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 motivation for writing.

“You’re stuck? Poor you. Fuck it. It’s a mental thing. Don’t give in. Think through it. Karate-punch the story. Kick it in the teeth until it yields. You’re the boss. Worse comes to worse: write around the gap. Got a section where you don’t know what happens? Write in 144-point font: WHO THE FUCK KNOWS? FIGURE THIS FIDGETY SHIT OUT LATER and then write the next section. A stuck story might be you feeling stuck when really, the story’s zipping along just fine. And even if there really is a problem, you can’t always identify the problem until you’re done the whole damn thing. So: you’re stuck? Fuck it. Fuck you. You’re not the horse. You’re the rider. The one with the spurs, the buggy whip, the carrot at the end of a stick. Make it move. Get it done. Your words are a battering ram: knock the door down and walk on through.”

— Chuck Wendig

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You have become so vital a part of me that I’m completely upside down, if this means anything. I don’t know what I write- only that I love you, that I must have you exclusively, fiercely, possessively. I don’t know what I want. I’ve got too much, I guess. You’ve overwhelmed me and you’ve spoiled me. I keep asking harder and harder things of you. I expect you to accomplish miracles. You don’t know how I miss those nights we spent together- how much they meant to me. Other times you are just a phantom, a wrath. You come and you make me sick with desire, with a desire to possess you, to have you around me always, talking to me naturally, moving about as if you were a part of me.

Henry Miller to Anais Nin

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extrasad:

"I want to call you and ask you if you remember the first time we kissed and how you sighed and smiled and told me I tasted like coffee and the entire galaxy. I want to ask you if you remember the first night we spent together and how we barely touched each other but you pushed my hair out of my eyes and told me you loved me and suddenly we were the world.    I want to ask you if you remember the sound of my voice and that time it rained so hard that our tears washed away and you held

me so tightly I think we melted into each other.  I want to call you and ask you if you still love me but I can’t remember your phone number”

=====================================================================================================

“I untangled my fingers from her hair, as my hands slowly found their way along her arms and settled onto the inward curves of her hips.

I could keep my face buried in her neck for hours, but my lips anxiously wandered down the road of her spine – wading along like a gondolier on still Italian waters.

My eyes remained closed as her breath led the way. I could not care less that I’d gotten lost a thousand times that night because everywhere I touched her, it felt like home. At times, I believed that I was no longer alive, because every time I kissed her, it felt like heaven.”

— Connotativewords | jl | Euphoria

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Page 6 BUMP

“And kid, you’ve got to love yourself. You’ve got wake up at four in the morning, brew black coffee, and stare at the birds drowning in the darkness of the dawn. You’ve got to sit next to the man at the train station who’s reading your favorite book and start a conversation. You’ve got to come home after a bad day and burn your skin from a shower. Then you’ve got to wash all your sheets until they smell of lemon detergent you bought for four dollars at the local grocery store. You’ve got to stop taking everything so goddam personally. You are not the moon kissing the black sky. You’ve got to compliment someones crooked brows at an art fair and tell them that their eyes remind you of green swimming pools in mid July. You’ve got to stop letting yourself get upset about things that won’t matter in two years. Sleep in on Saturday mornings and wake yourself up early on Sunday. You’ve got to stop worrying about what you’re going to tell her when she finds out. You’ve got to stop over thinking why he stopped caring about you over six months ago. You’ve got to stop asking everyone for their opinions. Fuck it. Love yourself, kiddo. You’ve got to love yourself.”

— (via ellie-sigh)

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 “Marry someone who lets you have a bite of their brownie, even when you said you weren’t hungry. Marry someone who laughs at the same things you do. Marry someone who kisses your nose on a cold day. Marry someone who you can watch Disney movies with. Marry someone who is proud of you whether you earn £5 a week or £5,000 a week. Marry someone who you can tell everything to. Marry someone who isn’t afraid or embarrassed to hold your hand in public. Marry someone who lets you take over when decorating a cake. Marry someone who you can spend the day in Ikea with without feeling stressed. Marry someone who wraps you up inside their coat in the winter. Marry someone who accepts your fears and phobias. Marry someone who gives you butterflies every time you hear their key in the door. Marry someone who you don’t always have to shave your legs for. Marry someone who accepts you all day every day, even when you don’t look or feel your best. Marry someone who puts three sugars in your tea, despite telling them “just the two”. Marry someone who doesn’t judge you when you eat your body weight in cookies. Marry someone who doesn’t make you want to check your phone, because you know they will reply. Marry someone who waits with you to get on the train. Marry someone who understands that you need to be alone sometimes. Marry someone who gets on well with your parents and isn’t uptight about family events. Marry someone who calms you down when you get mad about stupid stuff, and never tells you it’s “only stupid stuff”. Marry someone who makes you want to be a better person. Marry someone who makes you laugh. Marry someone who you love. Marry your soulmate, your lover, your best friend.”

—      (via forever-and-alwayss)

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violentwavesofemotion

“

Don’t talk to me of love. I’ve had an earful

And I get tearful when I’ve downed a drink or two.

I am one of your talking wounded.

I am a hostage. I am maroonded.

But I am in Paris with you.

Yes, I am angry at the way I’ve been bamboozled

And resentful at the mess that I’ve been through.

I admit I am on the rebound

And I don’t care where are we bound.

I am in Paris with you.

Do you mind if we do not go to the Louvre,

If we say sod off to sodding Notre Dame

If we skip the champs Elysees

And remain here in this sleazy

Old hotel room

Doing this or that

To what and whom

Learning who you are,

Learning what I am.

Don’t talk to me of love. Let’s talk of Paris,

The little bit of Paris in our view.

There’s that crack across the ceiling

And the hotel walls are peeling

And I am in Paris with you.

Don’t talk to me of love. Let’s talk of Paris.

I am in Paris with the slightest thing you do.

I am in Paris with your eyes, your mouth,

I am in Paris with all points south.

Am I embarrassing you?

I am in Paris with you.

”

—      James Fenton, from In Paris With You

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"Hey. Do you know what I like best about you? Your mouth. Definitely your mouth. Your smile is so beautiful and your lips are full and kissable. You have a smile that shines brighter than any star, making my insides quiver with pure delight. If you smile, I’ve done something right, and that’s when I’ll kiss you. I’ll take advantage of your smile, your one moment of laughter or playfulness and capture your lips with my own. You’ll protest softly, you always do, but then you kiss me back like my mouth is your only source of air. Our tongues fight for dominance and I’ll let you win, but next time you might not be so lucky. You know what? Maybe I like your eyes just as much as your mouth. Well, because they tell me what your lips won’t. When you’re upset, or having a bad day, you’ll keep it to yourself, but you’ll look at me and your eyes will tell me a story you would never verbalize. When you’ve had a bad day, your eyes are dark, but they glisten as if you tried to cry the pain away and was left with just the deep pools of raw emotion. But, when you’re happy, it’s the best thing on earth. Really, it is! Did you know that your eyes change color when you’re happy? Usually, when you wake up in the morning, you’ll roll over and hug me – that’s when your eyes are a beautiful shade of green. No, don’t tell me you have brown eyes, I know you do baby, but that deep shade of emerald green is burned into my memory and every time you smile I search for that color in your eyes. That’s how I know how you really feel. I’ve never seen so much love in someone’s eyes before I met you. You know, now that I think about it, I like everything about you. I wouldn’t change anything about you - no, not even your brain. Or your hair. Or your small ears – stop, okay? I love you. I love all of you."

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 “You are the sun. The sun doesn’t move, this is what it does. You are the Earth. The Earth is here for a start, and then the Earth moves around the sun. And now, we’ll have an explanation that simple folks like us can also understand, about immortality. All I ask is that you step with me into the boundlessness, where constancy, quietude and peace, infinite emptiness reign. And just imagine, in this infinite sonorous silence, everywhere is an impenetrable darkness. Here, we only experience general motion, and at first, we don’t notice the events that we are witnessing. The brilliant light of the sun always sheds its heat and light on that side of the Earth which is just then turned towards it. And we stand here in it’s brilliance. This is the moon. The moon revolves around the Earth. What is happening? We suddenly see that the disc of the moon, the disc of the moon, on the Sun’s flaming sphere, makes an indentation, and this indentation, the dark shadow, grows bigger…and bigger. And as it covers more and more, slowly only a narrow crescent of the sun remains, a dazzling crescent. And at the next moment, the next moment—say that it’s around one in the afternoon—a most dramatic turn of event occurs. At that moment the air suddenly turns cold. Can you feel it? The sky darkens, then goes all dark. The dogs howl, rabbits hunch down, the deer run in panic, run, stampede in fright. And in this awful, incomprehensible dusk, even the birds…the birds too are confused and go to roost. And then…complete Silence. Everything that lives is still. Are the hills going to march off? Will heaven fall upon us? Will the Earth open under us? We don’t know. We don’t know, for a total eclipse has come upon us. But…but no need to fear. It’s not over. For across the sun’s glowing sphere, slowly, the Moon swims away. And the sun once again bursts forth, and to the Earth slowly there comes again light, and warmth again floods the Earth. Deep emotion pierces everyone. It’s still not over.”

—      Werckmeister Harmonies (2000)

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 “I tried to give you books, but you told me that any kind of reading put you to sleep. And I tried to believe you, but all I could focus on was that magazine peeking outside of your purse.

I tried to turn you into poetry, but you refused to rhyme the way I thought you would.

I tried to mend you with my bare hands, but you insisted that you were never broken to begin with. I apologize if the scars on your hips told me otherwise.

I tried to love you, but you told me not to waste my time. I tried to walk away, but your hands had a way of gripping onto my shirt a little too tightly.

If you wanted me, you had such an odd way of letting me know.”

—      Connotativewords | jl | Playful

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 “You’re in my veins. No. You’re in my heart. No. You’re in my blood. No. Yes. You’re in every part I call mine and in all parts I dare not name or know and yet love. Silence. Let me have it out: I am a weak person but I’m brave when it comes to loving you. I can’t bear the uncertainty I currently read in your eyes; I can’t bare to witness the fear inside your gaze — that terror over me possibly hurting myself or over you not being able to be with me in all the ways you used to. I can’t bare you feeling that you have to tear yourself in two halves in order to please me so that we can both pretend that everything’s precisely as it was. I’m not interested in the leftovers, darling. I’m interested in the whole thing. I’ve been loving the whole thing. So, we’re still here and it’s supposed to be enough; first impersonal morning text and what has changed howls mercilessly and I feel bad. 10-minute alone meeting before others actually join us and we’re both feeling uncomfortable and we’re both craving that others’ arrival is going to take some of the uneasiness away. And still, I look at you and all I feel for you is love. I look at you and every sense of discomfort turns into an emotional overflow and I can’t think, I can’t pretend, I can’t conceal the feeling, I can’t put the emotion away, I can’t silence my own fearful silence. I look at you and I love, I love, I love. And if that means that I should let go, I will, although in truth, I won’t. Ever. It’s just going to feel like I’m distancing. I will because perhaps, right now, this is what we mutually need. I will because what I feel for you is infinite. I will because in spite of my fear, I know, we’ll both be alright. I will, because what matters to me more than my own self-protection is the love itself. And since I know it’s love, I will because I’m not scared. I’m more scared to stay without staying; I’m more scared to put on a mask and compromise when I know, deep in my heart, that I can’t compromise. I can’t settle for anything less than what we had. I don’t want to settle for anything else. If I’m honest with myself, I really, truly need to leave and turn this absence into an honest, powerful and solid presence. And I don’t know whether I have the guts to do it but I promise that if I’ll be doing it, it won’t be an act of escapism. It’s going to be an act of bravery. And you’ll hopefully understand. You’ll hopefully come to feel that this is the way I have loved you and this is my way of continuing to love you. I’d rather go away, darling. I’d rather go away than rot inside some false half-friendship. I’d rather go away than come back home to myself each night and get to feel as empty as a shadow, as vacant and ghost-like as someone who didn’t dare do any justice to what they were feeling. I am not scared of loneliness, darling. I am scared of losing track of what’s real and what’s not. I am scared to begin doubting my own soul strength when it comes to loving you, me, and us. I don’t want that. I love you too much for that. I still love this so frightfully much. But I want to love it for what it is, not for what it isn’t, wasn’t and shall never be. And it’s not ever going to be mediocre. Ever. We wouldn’t let it. I’m sure.”

—      All These Things You Wish You’d Say

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Dear Future Daughter:

1) When you’re at some party, chain smoking on the roof with some strange girl with blue hair and exorbitant large dark eyes, ask her about her day. I promise you, you won’t regret it. Often times you’ll find the strangest of people have the most captivating of stories to tell.

2) Please, never mistake desire for love. Love will engulf your soul, whilst desire will emerge as acid, slowly making it’s way through your veins, gradually burning you from the inside out.

3) No one is going to fucking save you, anything you’ve read or heard otherwise is bullshit.

4) One day a boy is going to come along who’s touch feels like fire and who’s words taste like vanilla, when he leaves you, you will want to die. If you know anything at all, know that it is only temporary.

5) Your mental health comes before school baby, always. If its midnight, and you have an exam the next day but your hands have been shaking for the past hour and a half and you’re not so sure you want to be alive anymore, pull out that carton of Ben and Jerry’s and afterwards, go the fuck to bed. So what if you get a 68% on the exam the next day? You took care of yourself and at the end of the day that will always come before a high test score. To hell with anyone who tells you differently.

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 “You’re in bed and you’re hearing your parents talk. You’re just hearing the lovely lilt of it. It’s this beautiful music, and you want to be a part of it, and it doesn’t matter that you don’t understand. And that mystery of not knowing what they’re saying is a wonderful mystery. And you’ll never know what they’re saying. Even if you knew the words, you still wouldn’t know what they were saying. I remember that, I remember listening to just the sounds of language and thinking it was so beautiful, or more the intonations, the ups and downs. The contours. Which has an interesting connection with T.S. Eliot, when he said, about The Wasteland, that it doesn’t matter if you don’t know the languages that are in it, you just let it wash over you. That’s an interesting bumping up against that childhood experience, overhearing just the contours. How comforting it is.”

—       Dorianne Laux, from Mattress Talk

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Morning Interlude

Slowly waking up, I reach for my phone to turn my alarm off, I’m wrapped up in your arms and legs in bed. Your body feels warm and strong, a shield of protection from the cool morning air and the early morning hour.

You make me feel so fragile, inside and out. I like it. There’s an unspoken understanding that I can let my guard down, that I can be me without apology or embarrassment. Whether that is you taking my hand and spinning me in the parking lot as we walk into the grocery store because you know it will garner a huge smile or the way you silently suffer an entire night out, knowing there’s nothing covering me underneath my short skirt, also knowing I’m only doing it to find out what will happen to me once we’re alone together.

I slowly and gently shift in your embrace until I’m facing the softest, most relaxed version of you. Your days are stressful, long and difficult. Your evenings busy and over too soon. But now, right now I have you all to myself, the dreamy, peaceful you.

My hands begin to wander, over you cheek and down your bicep, I reach around your body, squeezing you tightly, not being able to get close enough to you. Your eyes open, seeing my own sleepy gaze staring right back at you.

Without a word you roll me on top of you, giving me exactly what I need, more access to you. Letting my head rest on your shoulder as you kiss my forehead and hold me close. Soon the closeness will be too much for either of us to bear and our desire will take over, but not yet. For now we lay, get lost in the sound of our hearts beating and the warmth of our bodies.

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Physically, yes I can live without you. 
I can eat, breathe, and sleep all without you.

But if I’m not sharing half of a medium pizza with you, then I don’t want to eat.

And if I can’t feel your body move up and down as you breathe, I see no purpose in breathing.

And if I’m not waking up chest deep wrapped in your arms, then I don’t want to sleep.

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 “To love. To be loved. To never forget your own insignificance.

To never get used to the unspeakable violence and the vulgar disparity of life around you. To seek joy in the saddest places. To pursue beauty to its lair. To never simplify what is complicated or complicate what is simple. To respect strength, never power. Above all, to watch. To try and understand. To never look away. And never, never, to forget.”

—      Arundhati Roy

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 “My body literally aches at the thought of never seeing you again.”

—      Connotativewords | jl

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"All the Things She Never Said"

Hey. I got your message. Sorry I couldn't return the call, I was in class.

I know today's the big day. You're leaving for the military. I want you to know that I love you more than anything, and that six years isn't forever.

When you come back home I'll be waiting. I'm not going to be out looking for any other guy to fill your place. I'll visit you during the summers. I'll focus on college and some day we'll be together again.

I heard you biked to campus to try to see me one last time before your flight. You biked through a blizzard, you idiot. But I love you for it.

I'll write you, I promise. Be safe, and don't get shot. You'll make it through. I believe in you.

When you get back we'll go up to north to that state park you wanted to show me. We'll go do everything we missed out on. I can't wait to wake up with your arms around me again.

I've gotta go now, class is about to start. But remember, I'll be here waiting for you. I love you so much.

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Back from Basic

"You're back. You're really, truly back. No, no don't move. I just need to hug you for awhile, just a little longer. I have to feel that you're really here.

God, I missed you so, so much. Our bed is so large, so cold with just me in it. If I sit in the middle I feel like I couldn't reach the edges. Oh, how I missed how small that bed could be.

Feeling your warmth there, your back so hot and hard and soft at the same time. Fighting for the covers, pulling them back and forth between us. Our legs entwining and falling asleep and tingling together every night.

And I missed the way you'd hold me as we'd fall asleep. Hug me tighter, let me feel you again. [sigh/laugh] You're so tall, I always feel like a little girl again. I feel so safe in your arms.

[breath in deeply] It's you! Oh, it is you, you haven't changed. Your hair is short and your arms are thicker, but I know that smell. I had to suffer as it faded from our bed, a little more each time I washed the sheets. You have no idea how much I cried when only flowers and bleech remained. I had to wash them again they were so wet.

And now you're back, and I'm never letting you go again!

I love you. Oh God, how I love you."

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You are not alone in this. I know feeling alone and having do deal with all the things that you have to deal with is one of the worse feelings in the world. Feeling isolated, strained, tired, like just one more little push is needed to break you, like you're just about ready to crack. Just know that I am here, right beside you willing to walk with through all of it, and not just say it's going to be alright, but actually be right here with you.

You are important to me, you matter to me, and so do your feelings. Don't feel bad that I am here, I want to be here. Don't ever think I would wand to be anywhere else, besides right here, right now, with you.

So, will you let me help you? Please let me help you. I love you. I want to do anything I can to show you that. Anything. Big or small, day or night, anything. Just name it and, I'll do my best. Don't be afraid to call or ask me for help.

Everything will be okay. I'll try my hardest to make it happen, but you gotta keep on trying too. Anything bad that happens or what anyone else says, it does not define who you are. You can get through it, just don't give up. And even if things don't work out and everything doesn't turn out okay, at least we still got each other. I am not going anywhere. I love you.<kiss>

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Unrequited Love Confession

Guys, I'm crying right now. Just looking at this picture makes me feel something strange inside. I guess you could call it "love". I'm in love with you. I've lost interest in anybody besides you.

You are really all I think about all day, every day. I really do cry myself to sleep at night thinking about how I'll never be with you. If only you knew I existed in this life, if only you knew my deep profound love for you. I know that will never happen though. That is the thought that makes me so sad when I look at you. I'll never be with you, but I'll continue to love you until the day I die.

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Simply read the following, adding in any pauses or emphases you need to get it to feel 'right'. If you want to add more to it, who am I to stop you?

I love you more than anything else in the world. Whenever I'm away, I want nothing more than to be with you. And when we're together, I want to stay there forever. You are the most wonderful and amazing person that I have ever met. You are always there for me when I need you, and always have been. I would cross the world for you, just to see your smile and return it in kind. When I'm down, you cheer me up. When I'm alone, you're by my side. And when I want to crawl into a hole and never emerge, you're there to bring me back out and show me just how wonderful everything is. With every last fiber of my being, I. Love. You.

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Her Happy Place

You always see the good in me. I love you so so much. It wasn't easy for me to say that stuff to you yesterday, because I was scared of what you'd think. I didn't want to come off like some love-sick teenager. But I have to tell you what I feel. I know it's true because I'm even feeling this way at dance. Which is crazy because dance has always been my escape and distraction from everything. Now all I can thinnk about at dance is you, and how I'd rather be with you. You're my escape now. You distract me.  I need you. It's all true, though. I want to be your wife. I want to be with you all the time. I want to have your babies. I wouldn't even mind settling somewhere else. I want to experience everything with you. <I know, I know, but let me get it out. > Being with you is the best feeling in the whole world. I can't even begin to describe how perfect it feels to be in your arms. I want more than anything in the world to just be able to kiss you goodnight every night and wake up with you every morning. You are my happy place, my home.

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These are some horoscopes I found on Tumblr. Now, Horoscope writers tend to either be like high school girls naming traits,  low-end con-artists practicing tricks, or seemingly overintelligent writers being defiantly vague and wordy. I take that back, they are all vague. But these feel like sweet talk. Don't they?

Aries –

Sometimes paper cuts feel like bullet holes and it isn’t always easy to look past your hindsight. Usually it’s the people you trust the most that carry around salt to pour into your newest wounds. I’m sorry you have to keep looking over your shoulder, ready to run. I hope you can stomach the strength to find your independence.

Taurus –

Unread letters are exciting in the way haunted houses are around Halloween when you’re five and you still believe in all the theatrics, all the blood and guts covering the walls. When you get older you know it’s make-up and you can’t muster it up to scream anymore, so instead you laugh with your head held high. Keep that confidence when you’re holding your tongue, too scared to send the letter, your finger hovering over the send button. The butterflies in your stomach are just theatrics, too.

Gemini –

A lot of people learn to swim when they get thrown into the water, flailing and clutching, and their fight or flight instinct kicks in and it’s the first time they have to learn to save themselves. Pull the thorn out of your side, take the knife out of your back. There’s no superheroes in the real world. You’re the best you’ve got. There’s a wolf howl paired with an ambulance siren in the dead of the night echoing in you. Look danger in the face and laugh.

Cancer –

There’s a common misconception about the people that walk around with barbed wire laced around their heart: That they’re invincible and can’t be scarred. It’s not true. When the electric fence caves in, it’s going to shock that bleeding closed fist to life like a second chance, like a welcome home. A current is going to course through their veins until they’re forced to risk it all again.

Leo –

I think you were born backwards. You’ll dye your hair a different color every week because you’re never satisfied and you’ll stay up until you pass out, all adrenaline rush meets morphine drip. I’m scared for the day your legs give out beneath you and you fall to the ground, because you never spent the time learning how to crawl; You jumped to your feet and swore you could fly.

Virgo –

Falling stars are meant for making wishes, like throwing pennies into water fountains, like pressing your eyes shut tight at 11:11. Like it’s only for that small moment of time that Fate stops, holds her breath, and listens to you. She forgets about what the stars are screaming to her, what Coincidence insists upon shoving down her throat, what Luck believes in so violently that it shakes him to his core. Fate stops. She listens. For a wisp of time, long enough for you to count your blessings and spew them into the air, fingers crossed that this will be the time she takes a peek into your dream journals and picks the wildest one to make come true. Then Fate exhales, and she carries on, and so do you.

Libra –

Sometimes your lungs get weak when you see something so beautiful it knocks the wind out of you without laying a finger on you. A sunset over the grand canyon from the hood of a beat up car. A wildflower field in the middle of nowhere, unblemished from our own hands. Weddings and the love is bursting from every pore, every fiber of their being. Newly born animals with all the innocence every God ever imagined could fill into one small body. You, with your grace like an esteemed ballerina, eyes reflecting off waterfalls so even when you’re falling apart, you’re leaking out a purity that will grow into something equally as good.

Scorpio –

You brought to life Khaleesi, you Medusa draped in jewelry made of shark teeth. I’m proud of how strong and brave you’ve become but I’m ashamed to see that block of ice where a warm heart should be. I’m sorry the world showed you so much heartache and hurt that you felt like you had to hide that passion in your eyes. Paint your nails the color of raspberries, of sunsets, of cotton candy, of their eyes. Stop biting them down to the skin. Let them grow out. Use them for knives. Remind everyone that you’re so much mythical magic and you’re nursing a dragon back to health.

Sagittarius –

There’s a vast majority of people who have a fear of heights, especially when it comes to plane rides. Being hundred of feet in the air, soaring through the sky where you can look out the window and make eye contact with birds and clouds. It’s scary to leave your troubles on the ground, somewhere you can’t pretend they're tangible and over think until you’re blue in the face. It’s even more scary to know you could taste the sky, to know this is the closest you can get to your own set of wings, in a position where you can’t even have control. You’re not afraid of heights or even of falling. You’re afraid of the loss of control.

Capricorn –

It’s easy to feel like you’re on top of the world when you’re shutting out the voices and refusing to see past your rose-tinted glasses. I’m sure it must be nice to tune out the feelings and anything that can break through your ribs to tug at your heart strings. Habits are easy to make, harder to break, easier so to pick back up. You’re a pro at getting lost inside hazy bars and waking in up in beds that aren’t your own. The fact that you can’t unhinge your own jaw but want to point fingers at everyone else will be your biggest downfall. We both know you can catch yourself before you shatter, but I’m trying to let you know you don’t have to do it all on your own. There’s a path of neon lights and bottle caps leading you to the chalk outline outside my door.

Aquarius –

Logic can get confusing. More often than not, it’s harder to wrap your head around than speaking in riddles. Riddles are interpretations, like body language and did they mean to touch my hand or was that absolutely, without a doubt, intentional? Logic demands reason and rhyme. It demands to make sense but this life never made sense for one damn second and I’ve gotten too accustomed to seething and growing in the chaos. I crave it like ice cream in the summer, like hot chocolate in the winter. I know how to clean up a mess. I know how to make the mess. I don’t know how to speak in a way that makes sense. I don’t know how to think logically about something that’s causing my heart to skip a beat, because the thought of that in itself is illogical.

Pisces –

When I think of you, I think in cliches. Of mermaids luring to death. Something so beautiful and something that was never meant to be tamed, to be domesticated, to be turned into cartoons and children’s stories. Faeries in the forest, and people ripping off their wings and then they’re shunned from their own community. There was never anything here to turn into a child’s play time entertainment. You were meant to be wild. To run. To live. To teach. You were meant to be more. You weren’t made for apologies or for sugar dissolving into water. You were meant to be the bitter aftertaste of blood in their mouth, to serve as a reminder that even the sweetest looking things know how to burn and claw and scratch themselves free.”

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“After tonight I learned that there’s a difference between someone who loves you and someone who is in love with you. Someone who just loves you is going to be there for you temporarily and a person whose in love with you will always remain there because you have a spot in their heart no one could ever fill..”

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 “I can fall in love with anyone but I’m staying in love with you.”

—      sweet trances #21, V.I.

 “Imagine spending Friday nights, after a long and tiring week of work, with the person that you love and the first touch that you feel is the warmth of his skin against yours and you feel like every exhaustion and weariness from your body  is gone, just because of one sweet and long embrace. Then, Saturday nights would turn into movie dates at home with a box of four-cheese pizza and barbecue flavoured popcorn while cuddling on bed with intervals of kisses and smiles and we feel like the luckiest people on Earth. The both of you will fall asleep in each other’s arms after movies, more cuddles and making love. And Sunday morning will come and you’ll see the person that you love the most beside you and you’ll stare at his angelic face for a long while and you’ll be feeling impish, so you decided to wake him up by kissing his nose and then his lips until he wakes up and you’ll greet each other the sweetest “Good morning, That’s what I want to have with you.

—      sweet trances #37, V.I. (serious editing version)

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 “I am the kind of person who gets attached easily especially when I know that you care about me so much and you mean every word that you say to me. I easily hold on to words and that is my weakness. I always tell myself not to hold on to those things, to suppress everything, to shut off my emotions, to always think of what will happen in the most pessimistic way so that I wouldn’t get hurt in the end. But all of it were put to trash because you unconsciously and suddenly became an exception to it.”

—      sweet trances #25, V.I.

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I want to be someone’s drunken phone call

Because then even though their mind is clouded

With the haze of alcohol

They could remember that you are what they want.

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I hate waiting. But if it's for you, I'll wait.

Your arms around me feel like home. I'm homesick

Maybe, I just wanna be yours

I can't say exactly when I fell for you or why everything changed all of a sudden. All I know is taht one day, I woke up and felt every cell in my body needing you.

You'll never love yourself half as much as I love you, and you'll never treat yourself right, but I want to.

I don't know what my future holds, but I'm hoping you're in it.

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 “I’m sorry for falling asleep while you were still awake, love. I didn’t mean to do that. I felt tired and weary and I just had to rest my eyes for a couple of hours. I swear from the heavens that I’d spend every day of every minute just to talk to you but we need time apart, too, you know. Don’t worry, I won’t sleep until forever; I’d still wake up in the morning just for you. You’re the reason behind my smiles in the morning and you’re the reason behind my smirks at night before I go to sleep. You never fail to put a smile on my face no matter what time of the day it is as well as the messages that you drop on my inbox everyday when I doze off without even saying a word. Perhaps, I don’t want to say any good bye or good night because I cannot take the thought of not seeing you again in the morning; perhaps that could be one way of telling you that I don’t want any of our conversations to end anytime soon. I giggle every time I hear the words, “I miss you.”, from you just because I am sleeping. How can you miss someone so much even if she’s just sleeping? I suppose when you really care about someone so much, you always want to be updated on what they are doing as long as you are sure that they are safe then every nerve in your body will come down. After all, I won’t mind spending my always with you.”

—      sweet trances #30, V.I.

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 “If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you.”

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Forever is a long, long time, but I wouldn't mind spending it by your side. Tell me that every day, I get to wake up to that smile and I wouldn't mind. I wouldn't mind it at all.

—      Winnie the Pooh

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 “Babe I want you to know that I love you and I care about you so much. I may not show it every day, I may not act like I am, I may tease you a lot to the point where in you get mad sometimes but trust me, deep inside me, I deeply care for you. I love you. I usually say it indirectly so listen to my words intently. Read between the lines. The times that I always remind you to put your seatbelt on, never text or call me when you’re driving, take your meals everyday at the right time, rest after your work, the hugs that I give you whenever I feel like being clingy, my random kisses on your cheek, the way I stare at your eyes that caught my heart. Babe these are just some of the ways that I show you that I love you. Never feel that you are unloved because I love you. I do. Never forget that.”

—      sweet trances #31, V.I.

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 “Can we go back to days when we weren’t nervous to tell what we feel for each other? Where our I miss yous and I love yous were uttered like a prayer? Can we go back to that day and repeat it today and for the rest of our life?”

—      sweet trances #51, vega.

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 “I don’t ever want you to think that you’re worthless because you mean a lot more than you can imagine to me. Fuck all the people who think that you are worthless because probably they don’t even know the real you. Do they even know the real reasons behind who you are now? Do they even know your worst sides? Do they even know your good sides? I guess not. Never listen to people who always tell you negative utterance about yourself. Never degrade who you are just because that’s how you see yourself based from what you’ve done in your life up to this point. Just listen to the people who always bring you up and encourage you. I’ve known your worst sides, probably not all, but I understand every situation. And damn, I even loved for you that — I still do. Look, babe. Just listen to me. You mean a lot to me and the last thing that I’d do and will surely not do to you is to make you feel anything less about yourself because you are worthy, okay?”

—      sweet trances #35, V.I.

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 “Sometimes the only choice I have is to sleep because maybe, just maybe, that’s where I will be able see you and talk to you. Even just in my dreams, love, I still want it to be you.”

—      sweet trances #13, V.I.

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I love you. Just wanted to say it to you. And since you are not here, I just had to write it. Even though you're going to be home soon, it doesn't ease my hunger for you. So, till then, darling, just remember that I love you.

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When someone can make you see this broken world as beautiful, they're worth keeping around.

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 “I never wanted us to end this way, you crying and me in pain. These past months weren’t the best for both of us, but I’m glad we tried. That’s what love is all about taking chances and forgiving one another. The scary thing about falling in love is that I don’t believe the second time will be the same. I know I fell in love with you for a reason and deep down I’ll always be thinking about you and what we could have been…”

—      baefiveoneoh (I’ll be missing you..)

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    my hands are craving for your touch and your scent that lingers every time you hold my hand and i think i want to be locked in your arms forever.

 “I hate it whenever you are mentioning about me forgetting you in the future cos that thought did not slip my mind — not even once. So whenever I keep on talking about the things that I want to do with you, what I really mean is that I see a future with you, love.

And that future consists of:

a ton of laughter together til our tummy aches,

watching a lot of movies as we lazily lay down on the couch hugging each other til one of us falls asleep in each others’ arms,

traveling the world with you,

taking long (nature) walks together,

going to arcades at the mall because we both miss being a kid,

staying up all night talking to each other on the bed,

kisses under the rain,

making out while our favourite The 1975 song plays in the background,

planning on a vacation at the hotel together,

playing XBOX with you as you hug my back and lay your head on my shoulders,

walking our dogs together at the park,

watching the stars at night,

more intimate moments together,

laying down naked in bed with you,

decorating for holidays,

and a lot more than you can imagine.

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I could talk about this for hours and I swear one day or even two is not enough to tell you how much I want to spend my lifetime with you. So please stay with me, love, as long as we both live and I promise to stay with you til my heart beat stops. Never ever think that I will forget you because when I found you, I already see you as someone who would stay with me until the end.”

—      sweet trances #42, V.I.

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If a writer falls in love with you, you can never die

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 “If we connect the signals that you have been showing at me for the past few weeks like the stars in the sky, maybe we could create the most beautiful constellation?”

—      sweet trances #6, V.I.

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vaguelyinked

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vaguelyinkedSource:

“But I need to love myself first before I say those three words to the person that I will love. I know I can give him my all because I’m the kind of person who’ll do everything as long as I can. And right now I guess I’m still on the process of loving myself in every aspect. I need to embrace everything — positive and negative — that I have in my whole being. I think the love that I have for myself as of now is close enough to half of a hundred but it is still kind of quivering. The road on loving myself has to be stable and complete and it has to be put on steady ground so I can give a never-ending love to the person that I will share my life with someday. I want him to feel that he’s being entirely cherished and not a thing or any mayhem would change that stance.”

—      sweet trances #29, V.I.

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 “It’s not that I’m busy; I swear I want to talk to you. But there are times wherein I feel like I have to distance myself to you just for a short while because I feel like I’m annoying you already. We literally talk all day long and you don’t know how much I miss you when we missed talking for some hours.

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I feel like a flower dying from the heightening heat of the sun. I feel like a weed that needs to be pulled out on the lawn because I’m destroying a beautiful garden. I feel like I’m dying whenever you are not around even though I know you don’t even feel the same. I think I am destroying you more than myself; or at least that’s what I thought. Damn, can I even destroy you? Of course, not. Of course, why did I even think about that? I am nothing to you anyway but a good friend of yours while I think otherwise.

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Never forget to take care of yourself even if I’m away. I’ve always wanted the best for you. Even though I want to see myself together with you, I cannot. It feels wrong because you still love her. And I think I’m just a support system that you need right now. It’s okay, I won’t go. But I’ll just search for myself first — I’ll search for what I really feel and I should feel.

(I.. I..)

Nevermind.

”

—      sweet trances #22, V.I.

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 “I wonder why do you feel guilty whenever you feel like our conversation was not enough for the day. I wonder why do you feel like saying sorry because we haven’t talked like what we always do before lately. I wonder why do you keep on saying ‘I miss you’ even though we never missed a day without talking. I wonder why do you always want to hear my voice. I wonder why do you always want to make me laugh. I wonder why do you always want to hear my giggle. I wonder why do you always do the things that would make me smile. I wonder why do you still miss me even if we are talking on the phone. I wonder why do you feel guilty whenever you missed telling me one thing that you did and I have no idea about it.

I wonder what do these all mean to you? to me? to us?”

—      sweet trances #23, V.I.

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 “You’re still the person that I will always run back to no matter how many times you have pushed me away. That’s how much I love you.”

—      sweet trances #5, V.I.

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FIRST LOVE LETTER

Dear Love,

I don’t know how many notebooks I have to fill before I meet you. Or how many pages I have to tear when I thought I wrote wrong. Or how many grammatical errors I will make. Or how many words I have to scratch when I thought it’s not the right word to use. But I am sure that in the near future we will find each other. And I believe it’s going to be the best moment of our life.

I don’t know how we will meet. Or where and when. I don’t even know if what will happen to us is love at first sight or not (Do you even believe in love at first sight? I don’t even know that). Maybe we will accidentally meet inside a bookstore, scanning each of our to-read books. Maybe I will look up and find you standing there, reading my most favorite book in the world. And you will look up and find me staring at you. And our eyes will meet. And it will take us a long time standing like that because we don’t know what to do. Are you going to approach me? Or will I have the courage to approach you first? Or maybe something will just happen and we will end up smiling at each other. And it will be the start of something that I hope will last a lifetime. Or maybe we are going to meet somewhere unexpected. Somewhere we never thought we will find someone to love forever.

Maybe we have already known each other since forever. Maybe we just fail to notice each other. Maybe you are still busy chasing someone else, or living your single life to the fullest. Maybe you don’t consider me a candidate yet. And I don’t consider you as someone to love too. Maybe we are friends. Maybe we are enemies.

Or if we don’t know each other yet, maybe we already have a connection since long ago. Maybe we have a common friend that will introduce us to each other. Maybe there is someone or something that is already connecting us together. We just don’t know it yet.

The possibilities are infinite. And though I don’t like surprises, I will let God surprise me this one time. Just thinking about the different ways we can meet each other brings a delicious shiver of anticipation within me. I hope it will be soon.

Love,

The Woman Who Waits

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 “Sometimes you don’t know what you’ve seen in a person and suddenly you just want to say, “Damn, I love him.. so much.” even though you know their worst sides and dark sides. Sometimes, love supersede every negative thing on the person that you love and you just want to be there for him and grab his nape and kiss him deeply.”

—      sweet trances #45, V.I.

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I don't know how you do that, but you make my heart skip a beat every time you blurt out the words, "I love you" Like my all time favourite song has played for a thousand times and not a single complaint has been heard from me because I'd do anything just to play that song over and over and over again and I promise I won't ever get tired of hearing it.

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 “You will always be my kind of best even if you think you are the worst.”

—      sweet trances #4, V.I.

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 “I’m sorry, love, because I’m at loss for words that you need and have to hear from me. Maybe I’m not the right person that you need to talk to; maybe you just need me because I’ve been there with you against all odds; maybe I’m your shelter that you always run to in the midst of the rain in your life; maybe I make you happy whenever I am around. But do you really need me for a lifetime? How sure are you?

You see, you said I am the best and you won’t ever pick any other person than me but I guess in some aspects I’m not the one that you need. I’ve told you all the things that I think you needed to hear about life and everything that I’ve learned; words to cheer you up and make you smile but I guess my words and knowledge and experiences weren’t enough for you. I’m sorry.

I’ve always wanted the best for you, you know that. I always push you up, boost your self esteem, upgrade your personality every time you degrade yourself to me because I see the good in you, love.

Tell me everything: your bad things, your mood swings, your extremes — good and bad; anything and I will listen and I will still smile in front of you and touch your angelic face. Never feel down because I’m always here to put you up and remind you that you are worth it and I love you. ”

—      sweet trances #32, V.I.

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 “I burned my lungs today. Stick by stick, it’s you that I could only think of, babe. I always wonder how you are cause I know how fuck up you are right this moment and I don’t get anything from you. You make me worry like I keep on fidgeting on this stick that I am holding. I couldn’t contemplate the right words to tell you when in fact I don’t really have the ‘right words’. I had five sticks in twenty minutes but a friend stopped me from getting my sixth stick. I don’t know what’s going on with us. I felt dizzy when I stopped smoking for a couple of minutes that I just wanted to puke everything including my thoughts about you or maybe if I could only include your deadly thoughts in your system and take it away from you, I would, babe. You know it. I just… I feel fucked up right now. I’m craving for you but you’re nowhere to be found. If kissing you would take all the pain away, then I’d more than willing to do it.”

—      sweet trances #33, V.I.

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baefiveoneoh

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“Of course I’ll never forget what happened between us, we may have still been maturing at the time but I loved you so much. A part of me still loves you no matter how much interest you may have lost in me. How could I forget you after all this time, you were the one who made my life better, I may have lost everything else, but nothing will ever compare to you. Our love will always be a once in a lifetime and yes I still think about the little things because those are what mean the most…”

—      baefiveoneoh (No matter how far we distance a part of you will always be with me..)

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 “Have you ever had this beguiling conversation with the person that you like and your mind suddenly froze in what you’re going to reply and you’re like an idiot rereading their reply because it made you smile, like a genuine one, and you just don’t know what to reply but you want to reply immediately to keep the conversation going?”

—      sweet trances #16, V.I.

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 “and the thing is you looked so perfect standing there across the room

and i tried to tell you and everyone really through slurred words what you mean to me

and i couldn’t find the words or the head space through the blur of 6 shots and 2 beers

but damn did i let every heart aching thought of you pour out of my mouth”

—      slurred love notes by (me)

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vaguelyinked

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“I don’t have any assurance on until when will you stay in my life but I want you to stay with me always. I can’t say forever because I lost my belief on that word for quite a long time now that’s why I said always. I hope you will be with me from the day that I met you until my last breath. I may not be the kind of person that you are looking for but just knowing that you feel the same way that we can be on each other’s side all the time is enough — knowing that you cannot take the idea of not talking to me or leaving me is dreadful to you can be considered as an assurance that you don’t want to leave me as well. I hope we will always be like what we are now until years has passed by in our lives. I am still expecting you in my life in the long run. I hope you won’t leave. Not now; not ever because I love you.”

—      sweet trances #18, V.I.

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a love note for you

you are such a brilliant, shining little dreamer

and I know you have the strength to give the world some of your special brand of magic

you must remember how important you are

how valuable and unique and wonderful your ideas are

and how much more than ideas they can become

let your imagination run through valleys and forests and kingdoms and underwater and wherever else it wants to go

you can accomplish incredible things

you will make beauty happen

just like you folded your favorite sweater, made yourself breakfast, watered that plant you are trying really hard not to kill,

you can do good things

you matter

you’re vital

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 “I hope one day you will realise that I have been here all along. All along, love. I will never leave your side. Every word that I say is a pinky promise. It’s not just a promise. I’m human, alright. I break promises but I’m different from everyone else because I don’t break ‘pinky’ promises. So if I say I love you, hold on to it; if i say I will take care of you, I will make you feel it. I would do anything to make you feel better.”

—      sweet trances #9, V.I.

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One great thing about wearing your earphones is that it smells like your neck. I can bury myself with your scent forever and believe me when I say it’s hell addicting.

Blue.

I didn’t think for the longest time that I’d be able to say with an unhinged smile that I fell in love.

It’s an unbridled phenomenon that left a bad taste in my mouth and has been avoided at all costs.

In a loud world with constant buzzing I had found solace in knowing that it was all about be and I didn’t need to worry about anything other than that.

Not once did I have a quiet mind, and not once did I ever feel the need to have one,

Then you, you happened. Silence. I couldn’t hear a thing and all I could focus on was you.

You looked at me, like I was a whole person. Not a broken shell with whatever was left. You smiled at me like I had enough left of me to make you smile.

From the very first time your hand grazed mine, I knew, as these things go, I knew.

The first time we were together we watched the sunset, at least I think we did. I was so focused on you that all I saw was the faint reflection of what I assume was a magnificent sunset in your eyes,

Your eyes. The brightest blue I’ve ever seen. For so long I was drawn to the darkest eyes I could find. Not until I saw yours did I understand the true beauty in the light of blue eyes.

Almost every day since I’ve lost myself piece by piece in the blue that is your eyes. I can’t breathe when you look at me.

My god when you look at me the world stops. Nothing exists except you. I have to pull my stare away just to remind myself where I am. Who I am.

Who am I?

The beginning of the year I don’t think I’d be able to honestly answer the question besides a sly remark of my name. As if my name could express to a stranger of who I was.

Who am I now? With absolute certainty I can say that I am me, and I am your girl.

Even typing that now I find goosebumps crawling up my skin, I don’t know what it was or what happened. But ever since I looked at you I’ve been on an unimaginable roller coaster ride that has me lost and not sure which way is up.

And through it all, gripping the restraints of this ride all I can see is you.

As dizzy as I may be, I don’t ever want it to stop. I’ve got you by my side, and I didn’t know it until know, but that’s all I’ll ever need.

breannpounds

vaguelyinked

Follow

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Let’s see. Probably if we’re together next week, I’ll set up my car or your car. I will drive you somewhere. I want to watch the sunset with you. I want us to watch the city lights during midnight. I want to lay down with you on the car and watch the stars shine above us. I will play with your hands. I will put a mask on your eyes. I will bring you to this one place. I will park the car and guide you to where you should firmly stand and wait for my go signal to remove the mask. And guess what you’ll see? A room full of helium balloons — each balloon has a letter inside and you gotta pop them all for you to be able to read my love notes for you. I want to fill up the room with lots of pastel-colored balloons but don’t worry,you’ll only pop half of it cos I still want to give the room some colors so everything will turn out nice. Then I will give you a box of customized doughnuts with the letters saying that “I love you” and “happy birthday, baby” with confetti scattered on the floor. Then I will give you the longest and tightest hug I would ever give to anyone since that kind of hug is reserved just for you. And oh, of course, I still have something to give you not just this surprise that I did — a watch. It’s not going to be something that you’re expecting but I hope you’ll appreciate it. I’ve invested on it only for a short while but I hope that you will appreciate it.

vaguelyinked

Follow

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What if I go to your place on your birthday and buy you a cake right after arriving and text you where you are and buy some stuff you like then I’ll go home by night? Just a day trip to your place? How’s that? I just wanna make you feel loved on your special day. I don’t know how else to make you feel loved and special. I don’t know if this small act would do (you know I can do that lol) and I hope I won’t scare you if I dare to really do what I’m planning in my mind right now.

sweetasstrawberrywine

Follow

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3 am crawling in bed and all I can do is wish you were here..wish that none of any of this happened to us..wishing you didn’t feel like this..wishing I didn’t feel like this…wishing that everything was back to normal when I was just always go with the flow. Me and you would go out and not worry for a second about what each other were doing. All we had to deal with was when I was allowed to see you. It’s amazing how one thing can lead to another. One bad thing can start a reaction that turns people’s lives upside down. One thing can make you hurt for the rest of your life. One thing that creates a wound and even when that wound heals that scar will be there for the rest of your life. Reminding you every time you see it what you did. It’s amazing what kids in middle school picking on you and never wanting to be your friend can do to you. Not knowing what kind of person you are or even caring to find out. Not knowing the hurt and desperation for help they can cause you. Making you feel worthless and like a waste of space and life. Their words stick with you for the rest of your life and you remember the exact feeling you experienced that exaxt moment. But even more amazing is when that person can climb out of that hole and stand on their feet and show the world that they won’t be beaten. The people that go through the most are always the strongest because of what they’ve gone through. You say I’m strong but it’s because of the battles I’ve fought. You say I don’t understand but I do. All too well. You’re not so different than me. Your tests are just coming later than mine did. I know you have what it takes to make it. Time waits for noone. It doesn’t matter how bad or good your day or week goes. It doesn’t matter how much hurt you’ve dealt with for years and years. It doesn’t matter what’s been taken from you or who doesn’t want to be in your life or was taken from your life. It doesn’t matter if trust was broken along with hearts. It doesn’t matter if your pride and dignity and morals are gone. It’s up to the person to stick to their roots and morals and to get back up on their own two feet again. No one else’s. It’s your life. No one can live it for you but YOU. You have to fight like you’ve never fought and when you get knocked down you get back up the next day swinging a little bit harder. I know you can do this. I’m here to help you every step of the way. I’m here to pick you back up again. The same way you were there for me when I was down. I can’t thank you enough for everything you’ve done for me. I can only hope ill be able to do the same for you. You’re my buddy and my best friend. I’d do anything for you. I love you with all of my heart and I always will. We’re gonna get through this if it kills me. You are worth everything. You are amazing because you are YOU. I wouldn’t change a thing about you. I have never hated you. I have always only loved you more and more every day. Take my hand baby. I’m in this fight with you till the end. We’re gonna make it

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“I have spent all my life wanting to be pretty, never realizing that beauty is a reflection of love - in this case, self-love. I love you wholly, unconditionally, easily; I think you’re beautiful. You show me how easy it is to do the same for myself.”

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 “Can we make things real? It’s hard to put myself in a position when there’s no ground to stand on in the first place. I want what we have now. I like what we have now. But why do I sometimes think that I don’t have this special place in your life? Like I’m just a regular person?

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Sometimes we’re friends; sometimes we’re more than that; sometimes we act like we are together; and sometimes you act like my significant other. Sometimes this. Sometimes that. When will I get over these things? When will you go over these things? When will we get over these?

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I’m not saying that I’m tired on what we have now. But don’t you think we can go overboard on what we always tend to show with each other? We always say things and tell things that we shouldn’t say because we’re not even real. We care for each other too much that one of us will get kind of crazed because we made each other worry but we’d fix things before we go to sleep. How will I believe on those if our ground is pretty shaky?

How am I sure that you are on the same page as I am?”

—      sweet trances #28, V.I.

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But when he calls me his, that just makes me all fuzzy. Maybe it's because he's showing that he's committed even though we aren't technically an item. I dunno. If he was a drug, there wouldn't be a sober vein in my body.

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Unpacking a Life

When I left the island I had 43 boxes and 3 guitars shipped here. Nearly all the boxes are in the garage. Now and again I think I want something or need something and we pull out the shipper’s list and try to find the according box.

The first few times it resulted in puddles of silent tears.

I’m getting better at it though…

A couple days ago, I thought I needed something again…. Instead I found a box that contained a bag of Nick’s toiletries I couldn’t bring myself to dispose of 5 years ago… His deodorant, his razor and shaving cream. Some hair elastics with his hair still entwined around them. A tiny note I’d left him while he was resting at the hospital.

But also this— something he must have kept. Why it was packed in these things I don’t know.

But there a note from a legal pad I’d

left him one October morning….

Oct 26.04

5am

Dearest,

I saw the moon set

I heard waves

and sounds of predawn

realities.

I’ve not been

able to calm my

psyche

so that sleep may nab it

But please

wake me—

don’t let slumber steal

any precious time

lucidity grants us.

Wake me,

as you did last summer—

unaware of your

“tanuki-” like needs

as they reach for me

as you pull me to a kiss

an embrace

in which

I taste forever and longings.

Good-morning.

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 “Love, listen to everything that I say and I will say because I always encrust my I love you’s with something that most people wouldn’t notice like “I want you take care of yourself”, “I don’t want to see you sad”, “If only I could be there for you right now, I would”; Love, these words. These words are my symbolism of I love you. Just deeply listen to what I say. I hope in the end, you will notice me and love me back like the way I do to you now.”

—      sweet trances #2, V.I.

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The rain is pouring hard. And all I ever wanted, is the warmth of your skin, against mine.

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Write me love notes with your nails on my back and I'll write them with my tongue between your legs.

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 “They always tell me that it’s time to open my heart now to people who are trying to get in to my life. I always give them a half smile or a smirk because I don’t really know what to say on that thing. But now, my perspective in life has changed and every time that they are going to tell me about my heart being unfastened, your name is all that I could think of. Maybe it’s weird because I’m seeing a possibility with you; maybe it would freak you out when you knew this.. or not. I hope not.”

—      sweet trances #27, V.I.

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I want you to hold me in your arms and tell me that you don’t wanna be any where else

,that I’m the one you want, the one you’ve always wanted.

Tell me that I’m perfect, not just me but perfect for you.

Tell me I’m your missing jigsaw piece, that without me your not yourself, you’re not whole.

Tell me those other girls, they were mistakes, that you want me and nothing else, no one else just me .

Tell me something to make me believe you again

Tell me anything.

-t.m-

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My sister has begged me to mark her in this and similar ways, so for the first time in my life, I find myself WANTING TO cum on a girl instead of inside her. Eventually, I’ll cover her in my jism everywhere!

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Lover's notes

I don’t talk about you very often

I give curt answers, when asked

Besides, I say little

It is not because I don’t want to;

I am bursting with thoughts of you,

But whenever I say your name,

Pride tugs at the corners of my lips

And every humble word seems criminal

And everything you are spills out

And I boast, and brag, and swell,

I become a glass overflowing with sweet summer wine.

So I don’t talk about you very often.

{A}

I speak your name

Far too often

Though no one here

Hears my Words

It is the sound that they recognize

I am in Love.

I too am humbled

but only by the Proud Cruel Days

Which Keep us Apart.

Your soft lips draw on my words

which then Explode in my Heart

Though I speak to no one

I speak your name

Far too often.

~F

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Heartstrings (Love Notes #2) - Heather Gunter

Todos piensan en mi como esa persona feliz y optimista. Lo que no saben es que tengo un oscuro y profundo secreto. Algo horrible me paso hace un año, y lo he guardado todo este tiempo. Estuve bien durante un tiempo, pero de alguna manera esta decidido que esta vez regresara, y me devorará -como un cáncer.

Necesito contarle a alguien esto, simplemente que no sé como. Estoy dando amor a todos, incluyendo a mi madre y mi mejor amiga Charlie.

Entonces ahí está Will. El guapo y dulce Will. Tuvimos una cita tiempo atrás, pero después llegó el incidente dejándome trastocada y confundiéndole.

¿Cómo le dices a alguien que te importa todos tus secretos, y aun te querrán cuando la verdad salga a la luz?

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You Give Me the Strength to Have Courage

I am so one hundred percent in love with you. You are smart and brave. You are funny and sweet and nerdy. You are dark and sexy and alluring. You know how to make me laugh even when I don’t want to. You make me feel good when I feel worthless. You make my heart race and my cheeks flush. You melt my stress to jello, along with my knees. When I think about how much I love you, I cry. Not out of sadness, but out of my concrete knowledge that you love me back just as much. But you could never love me more than I love you.

 I love all the things you do. The way you drive. The way you look at me with the utmost love and confidence when you do. With so much desire, sometimes. I love how your forearms flex and your wrists turn and hands grip the wheel. How they are strong and tan in the summer. How they touch my pale skin.

There is this face you make when you talk to me from your heart—when you speak to me with love and concern and sincerity, and you want me to really hear you. Your entire face softens with a certain craving to be heard that I could never place as one single emotion because there is such a bare, natural, intense feeling behind the skin of it. And your eyes change. They are deeper and they see me. Not just me on the outside or the inside. Me. All that I am. My quirks and thoughts and fears. The clothes I wear, my favorite food and candy and color and drink and weather. My skin, my goals, and the things that make me laugh and cry. The parts of me that no one else will ever find or understand no matter how hard they search. You see my soul. Your voice changes, too. It is soft and longing in an odd, wonderful way. It makes my heart open to you. It makes me listen and hang on every single word and if each one is the final drop of water in the world and if I don’t open myself up to it and catch it, there will be no second chance at survival. You are my life.

I love how you dress. Tuxedos, shorts, one of your many DC hero shirts, a plaid, three-quarter length button-up, or nothing at all. Everything looks so amazing on you.

I love reading next to you at the bookstore or under big blankets on the couch or in bed. It is refreshing and completely replenishes my heart. I love cuddling with you under those same blankets when it is raining or storming. You always keep me safe from the flashes and crashes of not just the weather, but of my ever-changing world. It feels absolutely perfect to hide under all those big blankets with you. To curl up and drink coffee and watch you play video games.

I love that you love me. I love that you do and would do anything for me. I love that you write with me and you don’t have a care in the world what anyone thinks about you. You are my inspiration. You are my hero.

I look back on my life no more than two years and two months ago today. I think about how absolutely different my life would be had you not taken that one step—that first step—back to me. It was God that caused you to do that. He made us for each other.  I know I would be unhappy if you never took that leap of faith. I would be lost. I wouldn’t have God, confidence, love, happiness, stability, or security in my life. You are my personal sun. The reason I keep going. My turning page.

I want to thank you for putting up with my daily tears. With my uncertainty and lack of self-confidence. You’re the only thing I have that is constant. That keeps me grounded. That makes me happy. Thank you for being you. I want to thank you for choosing me. You could be with any girl in the world, and you still choose to wake up next to me every single day. I don’t think I’ll ever understand why, but I’m glad you do.

Aristotle said, “Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.” I couldn’t agree more. We are the same. We are composed by the same hands, made of the same pieces, filled by the same soul. Loving with the same soul. Thinking about us being soul mates makes me think about past lives. Did we have them? Is there a part of us, deep in the minds of our souls, that remembers those lives? Were our souls together then, too? Did we find each other like we did now? Even before that life? I like to think so. Each life is a new chapter in our shared soul’s book, and we are so far into it. Our soul is so beautifully old. Mature, wise, fragile yet strong, and so wonderfully joined together by our entwined fingers.

I am truly me when I am with you. Not with anyone else. We have no secrets. Nothing to be ashamed of.

Your eyes are like the moon went swimming in the bluest of seas, hair like golden fields of wheat, and skin so stunningly flawless. I love the touch of your tan skin. The words that form in your head, mix with your breath, shape through your tongue, and pass through your lips in smooth, deep strings of glory. I love all of you.

There is no way for me to sum this up well. I can only end knowing that I could continue for pages and pages until no trees are left in the world and there isn’t a dust of lead or drop of ink in existence. Instead of trying to wrap this up in a neat conclusion, I’ll leave you with this;

“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” -Laozi

You give me the strength to have courage. You are my best friend, boyfriend, husband, soul mate, and the love of my life.

-Your best friend, girlfriend, wife, soul mate, and hopefully the love of your life.

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“You’re like the sky, unattainable but wonderful.”

Lover dearest,

Where has the year gone? What happened to our turbulent spring, the languid summer? Soon it will be winter, and I will get to watch you stand outside and watch the snow fall, catching flakes in your upturned palms. In moments like that, the whole world seems to stop revolving, everything sits patiently under a blanket of silence, and it feels like you, me, the snow, and the white clouds of our breath are the only things in existence. The air is so bitterly cold that it seers the inside of our nostrils, but we don’t go inside. The burning tells me that we’ve survived another year of suffering, of illness, of pain. Another year of happiness, of hope, of love. And soon the sweet stillness of winter will melt away, and the world will continue to spin once more, and we will be confronted with another Spring. I can’t wait to feel the rain with you.

Love,

E

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“At first, there seems to be no sensibility to Love.

It sways decisions.

It catapults the imagination.

It can break the strongest of hearts.

And it nearly always engulfs a soul.

After all that, one is left a breathless, throbbing lump of unquenchable desire until…

Love finally locks one in its gaze with earnest reciprocation.

Only then, for all the agony endured, does one stand again, in strength and hope.

And only then, embraced in its devotion, does one discover that the only thing that makes sense of an equally illogical Life, is to love and be loved.

Therefore, lies the sense in the maddening thing.

”

“…There is a girl who still writes for you and she does not know how not to.”

—      Sarah Kay, Postcards

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When I look at you I see this perfecty beautiful person...then there's me, this weird person with all these probems and I don't see how you chose me. But you did. So please darling, stay and I promise that I'll give you all that I could possibly give.

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My girl <3

"I dunno where the begin.

She is all I think about.My world revolves around her.Maybe that’s why.Maybe that’s why I get scared at times.What if i lose her? What would I do then? she is the apple of my eye.I still remember clearly how I felt about her back then..back when I saw her for the first time.This is her..this is the girl ..the only one actually that can help me love again.She was my only hope.My only hope for me to be happy again.Wished upon stars and too many 11:11’s.When she gave me a chance? Omg I swear to god I was the happiest girl alive.The girl of your dreams wants you too? I mean how is someone suppose to feel?She literally IS my dream come true.Since day 1 I never wanted anyone else.She was the one.Still is.She’s the reason why I keep on smiling like a total idiot.The way we dance without music,the way we do silly stuff,how we cuddle & watch movie together,when I hug her and she fits right into my arms,when I sleep on her shoulders or when she grabs my face to kiss me..those moments?Make me wish I could freeze time.Nothing in the world matters at that exact moment.Everything else just fades and we’re in our own little world.Everyone goes thru rough patches.I mean that’s part of the relationship deal when you sign the contract right? Don’t, just don’t ever give up on that someone you love! Ever! Make it work.Giving up..Is it worth it? Nope,not at all.Make your indifferences work.never let it fade..Don’t throw it away fix it before it’ll be too late.I’m sure as hell won’t.Time flew since day 1 ..its been already a year and a half together ..and right now? I’m the happiest.She gives color to my black n white world.Her eyes shine and I swear I never saw a beautiful smile like hers in all my life.She’s my best friend,my baby-girl and the reason I get to wake up happy each and every morning knowing that her face is the first thing I’m gonna see.I love her with all my heart.I will never give up on us baby & I know when there’s nothing left in my life..as long as i’ll have YOU I’ll have everything.

XXXIV

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I am in love with you.

Each and every day I find more things I love about you. I tell you all the time I love you, I’m just not sure you realize how much I love you. You Anon, are my stars. You light the way in the dead of night so I am never lost. I need you, not in the way that I’ve ever needed anyone else. I need you in an entire new way, I need you so I can fill my my lungs with the air you breathe. Better yet, I want to be the reason you breathe. I want to give you all the things you desire, I don’t ever want you to stop falling in love with me, and I will never stop being thankful for you.

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    Did you miss me?:

    I curl my arms around your neck.

    I hear your breath pass by my ear with its

    In.

    Out.

    In.

    Out.

    We stay there for a while

    Our bodies just content with the subtle movement of our stomachs and our chests

    Stretch.

    Deflate.

    Stretch.

    Deflate.

    That is until you want to see my face

    So you shuffle and I shift

    I gaze into your solid brown eyes

    that carry me to a ninth cloud.

    Your tongue darts out and slides over your lips.

    "Did you miss me?" your voice croaks.

    I giggle. What a silly notion?

    We have been lying here for hours on end

    after waking up together and lying next to one another

    for years.

    You shake your head with amusement in your eyes

    "You are the silly one," you whisper, "because

    You associate missing me with distance and time. I,

    in fact, missed the details on your face and the feeling

    that runs through me when I see the glaze of love I discover in your eyes.

    I missed the scars on your cheek that accented the memory of a fight too

    strong. I miss each the way you knit your brows when you focus

    on something you don't understand." Your smirk creeps upon your face

    and I gaped.

    my brows release themselves and I realize that I missed the softness in

    your eyes that turned my insides to mush. I missed the sight of the tint of

    pink that is your lips. I missed the way your bit your lip when you could not hold

    Something in. I missed the way they felt against my own despite their

    constant rendezvous.

    I dig my fingers into your hair and pull you towards me.

    Yes, I missed you.

#poetry#love notes

4 notes

“Thanks to you, all my neighbors know how I moan during sex on acid. I don’t even know how I moan during sex on acid.”

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A love note at 3 a.m.

I’ve fallen in love with your flaws and imperfections, but I have yet to fall in love with you. Your eyes shine like the stars in the night sky, your smile is definition of bliss. The way you laugh is the sound of happiness soaring though the wind. Why must this be this way though? Why must I fall for someone I barely know? Has my heart became lost only to be found in the body of a girl who I have yet to truly understand? Or is it that love is like destiny, or fate? I may ever know. But I do know this, I’ve fallen in love with your flaws and imperfections, but I have yet to fall in love with you. Those are the words spoken by my wandering heart, searching for the answer of why did I fall for you, and what is love.

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An Open Letter

I don’t know if you’re ever going to read this, but if, in fact, you somehow manage to find this letter, then know that it should not be brought up in day-to-day conversation with me, whereas you know how I am about talking about my feelings to your face. I get all awkward and shy and I can’t find the right words..so this letter is all the things I wish I had the nerve to say to you, face to face.

I don’t know what initially attracted me to you..maybe it was your face (your eyes, really) or your accent, or maybe just the way you held yourself. I knew when I met you that you would be the most interesting person I had ever met. What I didn’t know was how much I would come to love you.

It’s 6 months later and you’re 97% of my entire world. The other 3% goes to Cheetos, tumblr, and books. When we’re not talking on the phone, we’re texting, and if we’re not texting, we’re cuddling. Of course, there is the unfortunate inconvenience of school..But I get to hold your hand and walk with you to class, so I’m okay with that. But, next year you’ll be going off to college at SVCC and I’ll still just be a sophomore in stupid highschool. I’m more scared that you’ll find someone more attractive, or better suited for you.

We talked on the phone last night..you said that you would never break up with me just because you were angry..you said, “It’s a big decision for me, and I would want to talk to you before I made a decision.” I tried to interject, but you cut me off, “I’ve already lost you once, yanno, and I’m afraid if I lose you again, I won’t be able to get you back.” I wanted to tell you that you would always be able to get me back, no matter what, but I just let you finish, “You mean too much to me, for me to let you go again, yanno?” It put a smile on my face. You always manage to say the right thing to make me happy. I love that about you.

I’m sure I’ll come back to this letter, but that’s it for now..I love you. 29.5.14

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I want to be your rock.

Your shelter

The person you go to when you’re happy.

Sad.

Scared.

The one you joke with,

Confide in.

I want to keep your secrets

And love you unconditionally.

But most of all,

I want to be yours.

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I'm not the girl your mother warns you about. I won't kiss your best friend or break your heart. I won't make you choose between what you love to do and me. I'm not cold. I'm not reckless. I will love you more than anything. I will kiss you when you cry. I will stand by our side until you decide otherwise. And even then, I will still love you.

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Dear Lover,

I used to write letters to you all the time. Explaining how I felt. Towards you, Towards myself, Towards life. But I’ve come to a lack of words. They used to come so freely — by no stretch of imagination. But now I fumble over my words and worry about helpless causes. As if worrying ever helped anything. As if it made me feel any better. You see, I feel so guilty when I think about you. The thought of your existence fills me with so much happiness. Yet so much sadness. I didn’t think that was possible. Your touch is my best dream. Lack of you is my worst nightmare. I’m quite certain I love you. Which I don’t often say. It’s so abused — so misused. Whatever you consider me… what a wonderful thought. As long as you consider me. You. You.. thinking of me. Do you often think of me? I used to think I would feel foolish to admit how much I thought of you — but I care little now.

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Dearest lover, friend —

E.B.

Sunshine that fills my heart

You make me feel whole. Baby, you make me a lot of things than the others in my past who have. I love the way you keep me safe, loved and confident. You never push me to do anything I don’t want except to experience life. Everyday is a blessing. I wake up I think of you, before I sleep you’re on my mind. I wouldn’t mind waking up to your beautiful face across mines every morning. One day that will come hopefully. You’re the best man that has ever entered my life and I felt like I knew you for a long time. Every love song is a song you’re in. To be honest for once in my life, at this moment.. I’ve never felt this strong emotion towards someone who I’ve truly felt for. I hope you’re my last. You’re my missing half, my lover, my sun. Baby, here’s to many more splendid months and years to come. I promise we can make it through. - Lastly, one day when I’m comfortable enough to tell you how I feel, I’ll make you read this. Just waiting for that special time :-).

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The only place I would spill my cheesiness. Sorry, not sorry.

My "note" to Bubbe

You’re my lover, my homie my best friend, my side kick, my right hand man, my cuddle buddy, and do much more. You mean so much to me. I love you more than most people. Our relationship means more than anything. I know you think I don’t listen to you but I do. When it comes to tattoos I just feel that I should get the ones that I planned to get before we met which is like 3 more. The rest of my back, my thigh piece and my side. I know you think I’m going to cover all of me but I’m not. I like my skin, I know you like my skin. I like you biting, scratching and licking. And goodness I love when you fuck me. I love when you take control and make me given in. I love when you fuck me till I pass out. I even like when you tell me to shut up (but only in bed). Hmm I love fucking you God I love the sounds you make, the look on your face, the feel of you cumming on On my hand. I’m lucky and happy that you let me have “you”…all of you. I love every part of your hairy body, lol. I love how smart you are. I love that you try to take care I of me, I think I like that feeling. I’m in this for forever. I am going to marry you, I’m going to make you happy….I was going to put this on tumblr but it got kinda sexual. Now I’ve decided to put it on here. Ps I love you

    I know it doesn’t look like much, but I promise you it’s much more muchier on the inside. At least, I hope it is. I wanted it to be. If not I’ve failed as a gift-giver and I’ll have to live the rest of my life in shame.

    Right, so, I know you’ve lost a lot this last year. And not even just this year, but I know you’ve lost a lot, period. I don’t think that’s fair, and it’s probably not fair that I’m bringing it up on your birthday, either, but I’m going somewhere with this, trust me. Anyway, I’ve been trying to figure out for a bit not how to work a Pensieve, and I think I’ve gotten it down. That’s what’s in the necklace. My memories. I mean, not just any old silly memories because what sort of a gift would that be to you if it were something like, I don’t know, my fifth birthday party of something. It’s more like the memory of the first time I realized you were going to be my best mate forever, or the first time I came to your house and you introduced me to your mum, or that time when I went to that Gobstones match for you thinking it was going to be this grand extravagant sport and found it out was just explosive marbles and realized you were a complete nerd but I cheered for you anyway, and— well, I won’t tell you the rest because that’ll spoil the surprise.

    And I know it might be a little silly, because you’ve already got these memories of your own about the moments I’m giving you again, but it’s not the same. We all see things differently, even the same things, and I certainly see you differently than you see yourself. At least, I think I do. You can tell me whether or not I’m wrong about that after you’ve watched them. So, I thought maybe it’d be nice to have them again. Except, maybe have them in a new way.

    Happy birthday, Marlene. And thanks for giving me memories that’re good enough I had a hard time narrowing down which ones to pull back out.

    xx Mary

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 “I’m sorry if I’m not the one that you need. I’m sorry if I can’t shed away your tears. I’m sorry if I cant hug you real tight whenever you need one. I’m sorry if I always worry about you. I’m sorry if I can’t take away your pain. But fuck, trust me, I’m doing everything to make you feel loved and to make you feel happy but if that’s not enough for you then I’m sorry, love, this is all I’ve got and I’ve laid out all my best cards just for you. I just really wish that these are enough for you.”

—      

21:39, 10/18/14, vega.

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Back from Basic

"You're back. You're really, truly back. No, no don't move. I just need to hug you for awhile, just a little longer. I have to feel that you're really here.

God, I missed you so, so much. Our bed is so large, so cold with just me in it. If I sit in the middle I feel like I couldn't reach the edges. Oh, how I missed how small that bed could be.

Feeling your warmth there, your back so hot and hard and soft at the same time. Fighting for the covers, pulling them back and forth between us. Our legs entwining and falling asleep and tingling together every night.

And I missed the way you'd hold me as we'd fall asleep. Hug me tighter, let me feel you again. [sigh/laugh] You're so tall, I always feel like a little girl again. I feel so safe in your arms.

[breath in deeply] It's you! Oh, it is you, you haven't changed. Your hair is short and your arms are thicker, but I know that smell. I had to suffer as it faded from our bed, a little more each time I washed the sheets. You have no idea how much I cried when only flowers and bleech remained. I had to wash them again they were so wet.

And now you're back, and I'm never letting you go again!

I love you. Oh God, how I love you."

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“I want to be with you. I mean…really be with you. My heart skips a beat just by thinking of you calling me yours. I wanna wake up with the smell of your hair, the smell of your skin in my sheets. I want to kiss the corner of your lips while you sleep calmly. I love the feelings that you give me, my heart races, my skin shivers, my flesh aches. Can you please notice what you’re doing to me?”

— A.N

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“Don’t you get it? You’re the one that I want and I’m choosing you out of all the people that I know. I am choosing you. I want to be with you. I want to spend my lazy nights with you. I want to travel with you. I want to see the world with you. I want to help you in every possible way that I can even just by making you laugh. I want to make you feel loved. I want you to feel that you’re worthy. I want to save you.. or perhaps, i want to love you and know you more because that’s all I could think of just to save you from all your apprehensions. You’re the one that I like and I am choosing you.”

— i am settling on you, V.I.

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“I say nice things to you because I see the good in you. And why would I let you stay on the ground when I know, somehow, I can pull you up? I don’t know why I talk to you all the time but you’re on my routine already and I don’t know when did this routine had started. I’m not getting tired of you because I know there are reasons behind who you are and why you act that way and my initial reaction as 'myself' is to be there for you though I may not be there physically so I try to be there even in the simplest ways that I can to show you that I care. I don’t get angry cos I don’t know how and you know that I always try to understand things for you.”

— sweet trances #41, V.I.

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